Wasted 3 years sober and need help
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: England
Posts: 59
Hi Pete
I had nearly 5 years sobriety and lost it. Over 3 years later I am in a far deeper hole than I was before. Am now on Day 2. But I don't believe those 5 years were wasted, I did so much and remembering everything I went through at the time is helping already.
I also hide it, even my husband has no idea of the extent of it let alone work colleagues. When I had those years I "just" used a forum too, not this one though. It helped so much and is helping again already. We can all lean on each other.
I had nearly 5 years sobriety and lost it. Over 3 years later I am in a far deeper hole than I was before. Am now on Day 2. But I don't believe those 5 years were wasted, I did so much and remembering everything I went through at the time is helping already.
I also hide it, even my husband has no idea of the extent of it let alone work colleagues. When I had those years I "just" used a forum too, not this one though. It helped so much and is helping again already. We can all lean on each other.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,575
Welcome home, Pete. I'm glad to see you, but sorry for the pain you're in.
I also relapsed after 3 yrs. sober. Decided I could have 'a glass' of wine now and then. After a few months I found myself drinking every day - life out of control. When I found SR I'd been drinking again for years - but I guess that's what it took to make me determined to never test myself again. I can't touch it, not an ounce. You can do this, Pete. Life will be good again.
I also relapsed after 3 yrs. sober. Decided I could have 'a glass' of wine now and then. After a few months I found myself drinking every day - life out of control. When I found SR I'd been drinking again for years - but I guess that's what it took to make me determined to never test myself again. I can't touch it, not an ounce. You can do this, Pete. Life will be good again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: South west uk
Posts: 960
Thankyou for all your responses. Work was too busy so didn’t get a chance to see doc but I have made it through day one. Not had a chance to speak to the wife about it tonight with sorting dinner and getting little man to bed. She is on early shift tomorrow so went to bed before we could speak. I know I’m in for a tough night so will keep looking through the forum for inspiration. I am looking forward to creating memories from now on that I will remember. I feel like I’ve wasted time and missed seeing my 20 month old son grow up so now it’s time to focus.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: England
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by Petecrab 
I have made it through day one.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: South west uk
Posts: 960
I certainly will. It’s amazing when you are in this position and feel so alone, and come here to find other people going through almost identical things. I suddenly don’t feel so alone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by Petecrab
I feel like I’ve wasted time and missed seeing my 20 month old son grow up so now it’s time to focus.
As a father of a 10yo who has just recently finally quit for good, even I know I have time to make amends.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: South west uk
Posts: 960
Originally Posted by lessgravity
You've got plenty of time to make that up.
As a father of a 10yo who has just recently finally quit for good, even I know I have time to make amends.
As a father of a 10yo who has just recently finally quit for good, even I know I have time to make amends.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
Hey Pete,
I think it’s common to test moderation after your first sober stint. It’s seems to always end badly. I drank after seven years of sobriety. It took less then four months and I was drinking ever day again.
You know you can do it now. You also know that you can never drink again. It isn’t three years wasted you learned so much about sobriety. You can do it. Glad your back.
I think it’s common to test moderation after your first sober stint. It’s seems to always end badly. I drank after seven years of sobriety. It took less then four months and I was drinking ever day again.
You know you can do it now. You also know that you can never drink again. It isn’t three years wasted you learned so much about sobriety. You can do it. Glad your back.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi Pete,
You have found your way back here, and that is not for nothing. 3 years sober is an incredible achievement and testament to what can be done, to what YOU can do. To echo otehrs here, it has definitely not been 'wasted' time. You mention that you don't yet have a plan other than the decision to quit. That's the most important first step. Now that you've taken that first step on the road back to recovery, I think it would be valuable for you to really map out a solid plan for how you are going to tackle this - think about what worked last time, what you learned, all of the wonderful benefits of sobriety and all of the negatives of drinking and the lies of the AV. Wishing you well and happy that you are back here.
You have found your way back here, and that is not for nothing. 3 years sober is an incredible achievement and testament to what can be done, to what YOU can do. To echo otehrs here, it has definitely not been 'wasted' time. You mention that you don't yet have a plan other than the decision to quit. That's the most important first step. Now that you've taken that first step on the road back to recovery, I think it would be valuable for you to really map out a solid plan for how you are going to tackle this - think about what worked last time, what you learned, all of the wonderful benefits of sobriety and all of the negatives of drinking and the lies of the AV. Wishing you well and happy that you are back here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: South west uk
Posts: 960
Just checking in, still hear nearing the end of day 2. My family are supportive of my decision. My wife hasn’t seemed to have said much about it though, maybe she doesn’t think il do it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Originally Posted by Petecrab
Just checking in, still hear nearing the end of day 2. My family are supportive of my decision. My wife hasn’t seemed to have said much about it though, maybe she doesn’t think il do it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 296
Hi Pete. Welcome back. Much like you I am just returning after a backslide. I only had about 3 months this time. Again, much like you I have a 3 year old and a baby on the way. I am completely dedicated to full long term sobriety. My family is far to important. It is never too late. Over the past 8 years or so I have spent much more time sober than not. I am just so fed up and tired of the back and forth with binging. Sobriety is truly a gift for you, your family, your friends, your employer and more. After feeling like crap today I am truly excited to wake up in a few days with a clear head. Stay active hear. It sounds like you are familiar with all of the resources this site has to offer. Start working on a sobriety plan and tool box. Just take it one step at a time.
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