Petecrab

Hi all,

Back in 2013 I came here to help me get sober. I managed to get 3 years under my belt. My life changed dramatically, bought my first house, got married.

For some reason, like many others, I thought I could control it if I went back to it. What a mistake that was.

I have since had a child who is nearly 2 now. For all his life so far I’ve been drinking too much again. I feel like I’m missing out on his life. My wife has stood by me but she knows I have a problem again.

I have been awake since 3am with the shakes. I’ve just had a week off work and am due back in this morning.

I need to get sober again for myself and my family. I am so dissapointed to have thrown all the hard work away and am scared of the withdrawal

Dee74

I'm sorry Pete.

Unless I am remembering you ' just' used SR to help you get sober last time.

I think it's worth trying that again - posting every day, looking at what people here are doing to say sober - if you need more than just posting this time, you might find a way forward from other peoples stories about what they've done.

You can definitely get sober - and I don't believe those 3 years are wasted at all.

You can use all you learned then to keep you in recovery for good this time

Petecrab

Thanks Dee. You are correct I just used SR last time. As I’ve been hiding it from work due to risk of losing my job I don’t think I have any other option than to just use SR again

Berrybean

Welcome back Pete.

Petecrab

Hi berrybean. Thankyou

Dropsie

Great to see you!

Welcome, you have done this, you can do this, and you will.

DuhDave

I can relate with you, Pete. I had 12 years and yes..."Thought I could Handle it"

Fact of the matter is...it "Handle's" us. We cant handle it !

I'am still paying the price...20 years later.

Inpatient rehab is not out of the question. Employers, more and more are relaxing there views of alcohol and drug addition these days.

Good luck to you.

Petecrab

The issue is that my boss put it simply to me, stop or you’re gone. Hence how I did the 3 years. It just crept back into my life and I’ve been hiding it. I’m worried if I do tell them I could potentially lose my job. As I’ve just bought a new house I cannot risk it. I will see if I can get an appointment with the docs for after work. I’m worried about the withdrawal stage

brighterday1234

Hey Pete. 3 years aren’t wasted; use it as evidence that you can stay stopped for a long time. Check out other programs if you need more help. AA meetings are always there but if it’s not an option then read the AAbig book online for free. That’s the program and that in combination with SR has worked for me. Meetings are good for the face-to-face support though and everybody there is in the same boat so to speak.

Petecrab

I know I just feel like they are. Day one again. Here goes

Jeni26

Hi Pete, I managed to keep my job after relapse and have now made it back to 2.3 years.

It is most definitely possible. No-one at work knows about my alcoholism.

I had to pull out all the stops though...I went on a retreat, got myself a Home group, built up a sober network both face to face and online. It gets harder to get back after every relapse.

But yup...definitely possible.

Stay close xx

Dean1978

I had my day 1 after 2 years last week Pete, dont beat yourself up. Its great that you posted here, SR helped me last week get through the week. What are you doing differently this time to maintain sobriety?

Petecrab

Thanks guys.

I haven’t got a plan yet. Woke up at 3am this morning with the shakes and decided it’s time to cut it out again. I know my wife is concerned so I will have a talk with her when I am back from work to see if we can make a plan

Dee74

Hi Pete
Hiding never works - you can't hide something that seeps into every corner of your life.

With that being said, I reckon I'd much rather an employee of mine was active in recovery than active addiction.

If SRs not available at work maybe before after or lunchtime AA meetings (or SMART or lifering meetings )might help?

They have all have online meetings too.

http://www.smartrecovery.org.uk/

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/

http://lifering.org/international-websites/lifering-uk/'

couple of other options too:

https://www.addaction.org.uk/help-an...cohol-services

https://www.alcoholconcern.org.uk/local-servicess

https://www.changegrowlive.org/get-h.../drugs-alcohol

Bring out all the big guns and pull out all the stops Pete.

D

MantaLady

I am routing for you Pete. It's not 3 years wasted, it's 3 years living the life you deserved happy and sober so don't let the AV tell you any different. Stay proud of those years and use the memories and great times you had as a motivation to get back there. You can do this! Keep strong! xx

Stronger2017

I had nearly three years sober and started drinking again. It took me 18 months to get back but I’m so happy I stopped. I’m now back to 8 months sober. I joined one of the monthly support threads and started posting to SR a lot this time around. I also go to therapy. Best of luck Pete. You can definitely turn this around and get back what you had and more!

PalmerSage

I agree with the others that the 3 years is most definitely not wasted, in fact, you've experienced significant time feeling "normal" without alcohol, which means that you can absolutely do it again. It's so insidious how it creeps back in, isn't it? Now you've really proven that to yourself, and can get yourself back on track.

Rar

Welcome back Pete. I also agree that those 3 years aren't wasted. You can get back on track. Good you're seeing a doctor this afternoon. Hopefully you will receive some meds to help you through this.

Good on you for coming back and declaring a Day 1. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Gilmer

Hi, Pete!

It’s good to see you!

You can do this!

lessgravity

What's up Pete. Welcome back.

We joined SR at the same time, back in 2013. I have never gotten that much sober time under my belt - so you do know at least somewhere you have the mental/physical/spiritual muscles to get there again.

I can relate though to the idea of being a drunk father and husband. For me, I have a 10yo boy and a pregnant wife. Finally, after years of knowing I had to stop to be the man I wanted to be - for them, for me, for everyone - I am here and have leveraged it all. I quit for good.

Once you speak to your wife, check back in with us and let us know your plan.

Stay strong. There is a better life for us.