ulfr

i need help with my obsessive nature for the last few months my pastor and husband wanted me to stop going on line as much one of the problems i was having was with an christian forum that didnt allow anyone to post anything positive about being LGBT Everything had to be negative and homophobic and trans-phobic they didnt know about me being trans as i kept it a secret i join there before i came out as trans so i was presenting as female my husband and pastor have all said its not good for me being there now my sponsor as also said am abusing myself by my obsession with this forum my husband has now blocked it and i have decided not to go back there
i hope to make here my place i can go to for support my Christianity is important to me but also is me being myself and not self abusing myself and try to do more things that are positive i have to make my recovery first i hope am doing the right thing i cant keep treating myself this way its making me ill

Ladysadie

My heart goes out to you. How utterly ignorant of the Christian forum not being inclusive to your beliefs and orientation. It sounds like that would be my suggestion as well, not to go to that forum if you are going to be ostracized.

"Christianity is important to me but also is me being myself and not self abusing myself and try to do more things that are positive i have to make my recovery first i hope am doing the right thing i cant keep treating myself this way its making me ill"

Awesome healthy advice you've given to yourself GMS! Continue on this path, post often, we care so much about you!

ulfr

struggling a lot ...trying to make myself as sleepy as i can made some calmine tea
feel like this is stupid why cant i ****ing just stay away i feel like cutting i feel like hurting myself WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU ALEX ?
NOT NORMAL AT ALL AM LIKE A ****ING CHILD WHY CANT YOU JUST GROW UP

Verdantia

Hello, GMS. I'm a Christian too and the Christ I worship loves us all and cares for us without condition; we are all fearfully and wonderfully made in His image. The people in that prejudiced forum are incorrect in their beliefs.
Please don't harm yourself--I used to self-harm--it doesn't help at all.
I am praying for you and wishing you every good thing.

StellaBlu

GrantMeSerenity - so glad to see you posting again. Your previous threads gave me concern for your safety. You seem to be getting some clarity on your triggers.

I appreciated your posting of Maya Angelou's 'Still I Rise'.
-sb

Cosima11

I'm sorry for what you're going through I was exposed to some pretty extremist and fundamentalist Christian groups growing up and have friends whose lives were deeply impacted by the abusive homophobic rhetoric used amongst them..

I hope you can find some peace and know you deserve love and kindness and there are many people who care about you and accept you for who you are..

Rar

Hi GMS - Another Christian here. I believe the people in that 'so called' Christian forum are acting in a hateful, prejudiced manner. Sounds like your husband and pastor have good advice in staying away from that hate. Staying on the path to recovery is a good thing. Thinking of you and wishing you good thoughts this evening.

Dee74

I'm really sorry about the other forum, but I agree its not the place for you.

Each of us is who we are and I believe that each of us, no matter who we are, is worthy of Gods love

There are places I don't go to in my hometown cos they;re dangerous, there are people I avoid cos they make me angry - and there are places I don't go online for the same reason.

I don't think that makes me stupid - quite the reverse really

You'll always find support here, man

D

least

SweatyHands

Here’s the good news, as well as the bad news: I’ve never met anyone who didn’t need help to stop abusing themselves. The positive side, is you are aware of this trap. Unfortunately, just because we have self-awareness around our patterns, doesn’t mean we can stop them immediately. But, speaking from my own experience, knowing how my obsessions and compulsions work, has made me more able to change my patterns and stop hurting myself. I always tell my clients, when you run on automatic, patterned nehavior, you do what your nervous system tells you to do. When you become aware of your behavior, you begin having a choice about how you act. And eventually, we can get better at making healthier choices.

Also, you’re perfect just as you are. No amount of ugly transphobic internet garbage can ever change that.

Gilmer

(((((GMS)))))

I know as a fellow Christian you know this bedrock truth: one day we will see Jesus face to face, and every tear will be wiped away.

Jesus understands you perfectly, and he is with you through thick and thin.

Hawkeye13

(((((((((GMS)))))))))
We love you

ulfr

thank you all i feel a bit better i went to church this morning my church is very friendly with the LGBT community and invites everyone no matter what i dont understand why some Christians believe that God love is conditional Jesus loved everyone he love us AS WE ARE why cant this world show the same love that Jesus has for us all to each other and stop fighting over things why cant there be peace i dont understand why anyone would want to hurt another person or treat them like there garbage
((((((( everyone )))))) I love you all and i hope that you all fight for yourselves getting free from any addiction is hard you are all brave people for fighting the av some of you are winning against your av some of you are having a tough time with your av BUT AT LEST YOU ARE TRYING KEEP TRYING AND KEEP FIGHTING

Gilmer

In Revelation Jesus addresses one church and tells them that they’ve “lost their first love.”

Jesus himself wants to be our first love.

I think a lot of Christians have lost sight of the glory of Christ and begin focusing instead on negative things.

Just human nature to lose the plot a little!

Not that you should go back to the website, but do try to forgive them for your own sense of peace.

Most of them probably have good intentions.

Dee74

I'm glad you feel a little better today GMS

D