Mandy73

How unbelievably close I just came to completely caving in.
My logical mind knows everything
But I just had one of the worst cravings ive ever had. Broke down in tears in the car. Drove past the store amd didbt get the wine that was acreaming my name. It was so close.
I just ate half a bag of thise marhsmallow banana candies. My breathing is returning to normal. Tell me this gets easier and that it wont always be that intense.

bluedog97

I know exactly how you feel Mandy. I’m going through the same thing. Look into an AA meeting, I’m going to one in a little while. Stay strong

lessgravity

That's a victory though, painful as might be.

Good work. Forge ahead.

AnvilheadII

it will get easier and won't always be so intense.
we can help this process greatly by firmly committing and RE-committing to not drinking again no matter what.

not if it falls out the sky into our outstretched palm.
not if it's free.
not for any excuse whatsover.
period.

we must be emphatic and ruthless.

you did really well.....exactly what one should do......

soberista

Its hard work Mandy but today i celebrate 4 months sober. I can honestly say my life is SO much better now. I wouldnt go back to wine oclock for anything. Keep going and keep putting in the work. It gets easier and then life gets great

Snufkin

Hi Mandy, I just want to let you know that you’re not alone, I’m going through exactly the same thing. I’m 24 days sober and there wasn’t a day I wouldn’t have intense cravings and obsessive drinking thoughts, so strong that many times I thought ‘that’s it, I’m going crazy, I can’t do this anymore, no way!’. But you know what, I’m thinking about all those moments when I REALLY wanted to pick up a drink and I’m so happy and relieved that I didn’t give up. I know it’s painful and uncomfortable but it is worth it! You are strong and it’s gonna get so much better.

Hevyn

Mandy, I did that too. A few times in early recovery, I was very sorry for myself & resentful. Usually it was on a Friday or Saturday night when I was feeling 'deprived'. I knew better - I knew if I had that first drink it would never be the fun night I fantasized about. I would get drunk & stupid - I would disappoint people & put myself in danger. I'm glad you got past the temptation. It most definitely does get easier, or I wouldn't be sitting here typing this - 10 years sober.

Forward12

Have you been attending AA? If not I would give it a go as that's one of the first things they do for newcomers is pass out numbers. These numbers are critical for those "in case of emergency" moments like you just experienced with your AV bouncing off the wall.
Reaching out before you think about doing something stupid is extremely helpful, even if it's just posting on here.

BDTL

Great job driving by! You can do this so focus on how strong and healthy your life will be when your system is clear of the poison that takes us down.

Dee74

You didn't give in = thats no cause for embarrassment at all

As I often say - IMO recovery is not measured by cravings, it's measured by what we do when we get them

You did well

D