Wastinglife

Day 1 again. I just can't seem to make progress in any aspect of my life. My troubles constantly weigh on me and I turn to alcohol for relief. I know I can't drink but the loneliness and hopelessness becomes so overwhelming I need to numb my emotions. Hate this life.

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear you are still struggling wastinglife. The inability to "cope" is almost certainly a result of your drinking - so it's a vicious cycle. I hated that life too because I lived it for quite a while myself.

You don't have to live it though - you can change. Alcohol provides no relieve - it makes things worse. Accepting that was the first step for me. I had to unconditionally accept that drinking even one sip of alcohol is not an option - ever. It's not easy and the early days can be quite painful. But once you get the alchohol out of your life you can start working on the other problems and learning how to cope/live life.

Perhaps since you can't seem to get started on your own it's time to call in some outside help. I know you have trust issues but you will need to let other people help you along the way. A doctor, therapist, priest. even an AA hotline would be a good place to start.

doggonecarl

For now, focus on one aspect. The drinking. And stop. Then you can address the other aspects.

FreeOwl

exactly.... make this the #1 and only priority.... the rest will follow.

lessgravity

Don't drink.

PalmerSage

I do think you know the answer, which is not drinking as everyone has said. Turning your back on alcohol is one action, and then you need to follow up with other actions: Rehab, AA, counseling...if those don't work for you, develop a plan and make SR your community. Live here, and when people who are sober give you advice, take it. When I drink, I have a skewed outlook that makes good decision making impossible. However, 4 months in, that is starting to improve.

Anna

Wastinglife, Scott is right. You will be much more able to cope with the problems in your life, if you are sober. The disease doesn't want you to believe that, but it's true.

Nonsensical

Problem identified.
How can we help you with the solution?

least

It's hard to do, but don't drink, no matter what. Alcohol is a depressant and will make you feel hopeless. After you've been sober for a while, you will lose that feeling of despair.

Buckley3

Been thinking about you from time to time. Wondering how you were doing.

Actually, no, you don't need to numb them. You need to feel them. Own the suck. It gets better. Faster than you might think if maybe not as fast as you want. But you and I both know nothing happens with booze around.

Get sober. You can do it. You've done it before. Let all the other stuff go for a bit. Spend 3-4 days letting your brain get un-saturated.

You can do this.

B

Dee74

Have you considered seeing someone about your depression and anxiety WL?

D

Delilah1

H Wastinglife,

I'm sorry you are still struggling. I know it is hard in the beginning, but you really will feel less depressed/anxious without alcohol. Are you talking to a counselor at all?

Berrybean

Rock bottom is where we stop drinking. If you're still drinking, you're still digging, so you're not there just yet.

Has alcohol actually made any of this stuff better in the past, or did it just end up making it worse? My bet is on it hard but worse and worse over time, but you keep falling for the promise of the instant but short lived relief.

Wisdom is when we make the choice that is best for us in the long term.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different outcome from before.

Folk here can offer suggestions as to wiser choices, but while any of us choose the route of insanity it's not gonna do us any good.

I too am one of those people who needed to get really desperate before I was ever gonna get willing to act on any of the suggestions I received here and at AA. For quite a while I wasn't really thinking in the realms of problems and solutions. I was dealing in complaints, and they just kept me stuck where I was. When that desperation came it was a real gift. Like the key to a gate (Not that it felt that way at the time).

BB

MindfulMan

Sure you have problems in your life. Everyone does.

Problems have solutions.

Solve your substance problem first, it interferes with solving nearly every other problem you might have.

Having depression and anxiety? Addiction interferes with medication or real progress in therapy.

Having job troubles? Drinking/using only makes it worse.

Relationship problems? You can't figure out what to give if you can't figure out who you are. And if you're an addict, it's your first trait.

Common thread here?

Get help. Stop drinking. Then move on to other, more interesting problems.

JustTony

And you know what? I think that's it in a nutshell.

I'm on Day 11 (again!) and I still fantasise about moderation and being normal. Everytime I do that I realise I've not hit my rock bottom yet. And that scares me.

JT

Sophie11

I’m so sorry you’re struggling WL. I’ve been depressed the last few days so sympathise—I’m writing this from my bed at lunchtime on a Wednesday (sigh). BUT, the fact you say you’re ‘on day 1 again’ says to me that you do still have some fight in you. You didn’t say you gave up- you said you’re starting again. And I hope you will. Life ain’t easy and all of us on here will know the temptation of that temporary escape through alcohol... but we also all know how in truth it makes it worse. I’ve never woken up regretting having NOT drank. So when I’m tempted I try to listen to my future self who will be glad I didn’t drink. Yeah, I still get down (8 weeks sober) but the edges aren’t so harsh and I’m more able to cope because alcohol is a depressant and makes things worse. You can do this, and it’s worth it. Day 1 again: that’s a good thing because you’re still wanting to give up. Stay strong.

wildflower70

Hi WL,

I was filled with loneliness and felt hopeless for the majority of my drinking career. I know it's easy to say "just stop drinking" but you've heard that already.

I will say this, I had to put my troubles into perspective, and I had some big ones. I took a good look at my life and asked myself "what do I want things to look like 5, 10, 20 years from now"?

I want to feel loved, have hope for a better world, and find peace. I also want to feel redeemed for my past mistakes, even if I am the only one who is capable of doing the forgiving.

None of these things were possible with a bottle in my hand. Every day new troubles arise, the weather, crappy day at work, kids still shun me, but I keep it into perspective.

Troubles don't define you, in 20 years today's troubles will mean nothing, it's all about perspective. Hang in there, dust yourself off, and re-examine things.

WF

Wastinglife

My issues are rooted in being a sufferer of ADHD. I can't use the meds because I abuse them. Impulse control in me is non-existenf almost. My diagnosis came late at 35. I have had sober stretches in the last few years but usually get broken due to impulsive decision-making like internet dating. Anxiety attacks are also overpowering to the point where nothing will stop me from a drink. The attacks don't happen often, but are triggerrd by a stressful event.

I will at this point go AA and try again.

Nonsensical

I was 50 when the doctor first told me I had ADHD. I didn't try the meds. I figured I made it 5 decades without, why start now. I made a deal with my wife though, that if I started drinking again I would give the meds a shot. I don't believe in magic pills, but I think she still does.

Impulse control is hard. You can train your brain to do it, though. It takes a lot of work, but it can be done.

Glad to see you're working on your answers!

You can do this.

ScottFromWI

I dealt with panic attacks along with my anxiety both toward the end of my drinking and for a while after quitting. Quitting drinking in itself did not solve my anxiety/panic problems but i had to quit first before any of them could be solved.

I'm glad to hear that you are willing to try again, because ADHD and anxiety are both very treatable conditions. Quitting the alcohol is the first step though.