Getting real
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 222
Getting real
Every move from here on in that I take is going to be a step away from the mindset I’ve had over the past year. I have now got to detach from the AV and see it for what it is because it will see me lose everything if I allow it.
So I’m not going to allow it
So I’m not going to allow it
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Colorado
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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What specific actions will you take today to make those words a reality Stew? You know you can do so because you have before, but it’s going to take a lot more than words written on a post here.
This is all very “real” already by the way. Especially to your daughter and parents. Is has been real to them for a long time now. Maybe instead of gettign real you should start getting honest. First and foremost with yourself. Then with your actions....and following through with your words and promises.
This is all very “real” already by the way. Especially to your daughter and parents. Is has been real to them for a long time now. Maybe instead of gettign real you should start getting honest. First and foremost with yourself. Then with your actions....and following through with your words and promises.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Stew as much as I wanted sobriety, my will wasn't enough. I promised myself each evening, morning, mid-afternoon, I wasn't going to drink. I always did, I always felt awful about myself, and I always wound up drunk. Rinse and repeat for years.
No one can do this for you. I say this because I waited for someone or something to come along and "fix" me. Nope, never happened. Look in the mirror, the truth is staring back at you.
Support made the difference for me, but without change, all the support in the world is useless.
I know you can do this. I bet if you get some sobriety behind you and give your body and mind a chance to heal your perspective on a bunch of issues will change. Maybe then you can move forward and start healing.
Best Wishes
No one can do this for you. I say this because I waited for someone or something to come along and "fix" me. Nope, never happened. Look in the mirror, the truth is staring back at you.
Support made the difference for me, but without change, all the support in the world is useless.
I know you can do this. I bet if you get some sobriety behind you and give your body and mind a chance to heal your perspective on a bunch of issues will change. Maybe then you can move forward and start healing.
Best Wishes
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
Your daughter, your parents--it's all been real and serious to them throughout your drunk absences.
Real to them,
yet their suffering does not seem real to you.
Why is that?
Be compassionate to yourself, but please be honest as well.
( also put this on your other thread)
Real to them,
yet their suffering does not seem real to you.
Why is that?
Be compassionate to yourself, but please be honest as well.
( also put this on your other thread)
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 222
booze is why I’m in a mess, that old girlfriend was manipulative, dramatic, paranoid, aggressive, petty, lazy and boring.
Got to dig through to build my self esteem up. No one going to do it for me. She would see me go under, she’s gone, forget that nightmare, she wasn’t a good person certainly in her intentions with me and her day to day interactions. Not that it matters now
It’s down to me, I’ve got to have so much strength about me that this poison is no longer an option for me. I can do anything I put my mind to, I can be strong, I can be awesome. I don’t need this low grade, pathetic drug
Got to dig through to build my self esteem up. No one going to do it for me. She would see me go under, she’s gone, forget that nightmare, she wasn’t a good person certainly in her intentions with me and her day to day interactions. Not that it matters now
It’s down to me, I’ve got to have so much strength about me that this poison is no longer an option for me. I can do anything I put my mind to, I can be strong, I can be awesome. I don’t need this low grade, pathetic drug
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Stew1984 
booze is why I’m in a mess, that old girlfriend was manipulative, dramatic, paranoid, aggressive, petty, lazy and boring.
Got to dig through to build my self esteem up. No one going to do it for me. She would see me go under, she’s gone, forget that nightmare, she wasn’t a good person certainly in her intentions with me and her day to day interactions. Not that it matters now
It’s down to me, I’ve got to have so much strength about me that this poison is no longer an option for me. I can do anything I put my mind to, I can be strong, I can be awesome. I don’t need this low grade, pathetic drug
Got to dig through to build my self esteem up. No one going to do it for me. She would see me go under, she’s gone, forget that nightmare, she wasn’t a good person certainly in her intentions with me and her day to day interactions. Not that it matters now
It’s down to me, I’ve got to have so much strength about me that this poison is no longer an option for me. I can do anything I put my mind to, I can be strong, I can be awesome. I don’t need this low grade, pathetic drug
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 205
I like to think I am a liberal kind of guy, you have a daughter.........that alone should be enough to drive you forward...enough to quit and enough for both of you to have a better life.
My mum and dad died 20 years a part and drove me insane. Even 3 years now I day dream of my mum, she was my best friend. It was a choice of dying (through alcohol or getting better). I chouse the the latter. LIVING is about ENJOYING, my mum wanted me to live, your daughter does too.
My mum and dad died 20 years a part and drove me insane. Even 3 years now I day dream of my mum, she was my best friend. It was a choice of dying (through alcohol or getting better). I chouse the the latter. LIVING is about ENJOYING, my mum wanted me to live, your daughter does too.
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 205
Originally Posted by Stew1984
booze is why I’m in a mess, that old girlfriend was manipulative, dramatic, paranoid, aggressive, petty, lazy and boring.
Got to dig through to build my self esteem up. No one going to do it for me. She would see me go under, she’s gone, forget that nightmare, she wasn’t a good person certainly in her intentions with me and her day to day interactions. Not that it matters now
It’s down to me, I’ve got to have so much strength about me that this poison is no longer an option for me. I can do anything I put my mind to, I can be strong, I can be awesome. I don’t need this low grade, pathetic drug
Got to dig through to build my self esteem up. No one going to do it for me. She would see me go under, she’s gone, forget that nightmare, she wasn’t a good person certainly in her intentions with me and her day to day interactions. Not that it matters now
It’s down to me, I’ve got to have so much strength about me that this poison is no longer an option for me. I can do anything I put my mind to, I can be strong, I can be awesome. I don’t need this low grade, pathetic drug
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Stew1984
I get it. Talk is cheap
Got to do the leg work
Got to do the leg work
booze is NOT why youre a mess. lack of action on the underlying issues is. stewy, take some time and read back though your threads. every single time you stop drinking, its gung ho( and quite often,"next week i will_____." or ,"tomorrow i will______" or,"but first i have to___" or "i cant______"). once the mental pain starts, its run for the bottle. youre a mess with or without alcohol, which is NOTHING unique.
and there are solutions for the underlying issues IF you chose to use them solutions.
make the choice to do the actions just today.
when tomorrow comes, make the choice for that today.
repeat every day.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Originally Posted by tomsteve
EXACTLY!
booze is NOT why youre a mess. lack of action on the underlying issues is. stewy, take some time and read back though your threads. every single time you stop drinking, its gung ho( and quite often,"next week i will_____." or ,"tomorrow i will______" or,"but first i have to___" or "i cant______"). once the mental pain starts, its run for the bottle. youre a mess with or without alcohol, which is NOTHING unique.
and there are solutions for the underlying issues IF you chose to use them solutions.
make the choice to do the actions just today.
when tomorrow comes, make the choice for that today.
repeat every day.
booze is NOT why youre a mess. lack of action on the underlying issues is. stewy, take some time and read back though your threads. every single time you stop drinking, its gung ho( and quite often,"next week i will_____." or ,"tomorrow i will______" or,"but first i have to___" or "i cant______"). once the mental pain starts, its run for the bottle. youre a mess with or without alcohol, which is NOTHING unique.
and there are solutions for the underlying issues IF you chose to use them solutions.
make the choice to do the actions just today.
when tomorrow comes, make the choice for that today.
repeat every day.
Kicking booze to the curb. And that pesky ex thought process. If she was all that, she’d be here helping the situation. Lazy individual and passive aggressive.
Got to fight now. Fight hard and true , fight for me and me alone. It’s thr hardest and most worthwhile fight
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
quit placing blame on your eX stew. calling her names, putting her down, does not make YOU better......you continue to give power to the past. she couldn't help you anymore than any of us can......you were together for years and look how it ended........
own your own stuff. then deal with it head on.
own your own stuff. then deal with it head on.
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IM going to anvil . No ex blaming now. To be honest, she was a bad bad fit. Not holding her to blame but she was nasty mate. I’m not a harsh person or manipulative but she was on a different level.
She’s gone, got to take full responsibility for my path
She’s gone, got to take full responsibility for my path
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