Nowsthetime

I’ve had a tough week. I am giving myself permission to drink. In the last 4 years and 1 month almost, I have had long periods of sobriety with the longest being 13 months. I am feeling that I can drink and just hop back on. I was a binge drinker so it’s totally plausible...

I have a couple of occasions coming up that would be perfect for a drink... beware everyone. AV is sneaky. I will try to ride them out, but I’m
worried.

Asiago

Congrats on the 13 months dude!
but why start drinking at all? saying you can handle the drink and giving yourself permission. the simple fact that you have put 13 months of effort into not drinking only to think you can handle it again should be a red flag.

Arpeggioh

Just a reminder: in the history of drunkenness, binge drinkers have been known to become daily drinkers; and all kinds of heavy drinkers have been known to become dead. Proceed with caution!

Sophie11

Hi Now,
I read something on here one time that stuck with me, when someone said, 'I've never woken up having regretted NOT drinking.' The fact that you are worried and posting suggests that you don't want to relapse. You don't have to. You can do this. Remember how awful it is to get sober again. Keep posting, we are here to support you as you fight your AV!
--S

Delilah1

You are smart to post on here now, take some time to get a plan in place.

time2shineagain

The thing that I've come to realise though is that if we take a drink (even sporadically), we aren't making progress in breaking the cycle of the mental obsession with alcohol. Does that make sense? Hope you can come up with a plan to stay sober.

Gottalife

I don’t know your history per se, but if you are a real alcoholic , which includes periodic, it is quite plausible you will die with from the next fatal first drink. I have seen goys with longer sobrieties go about and not make it back. One, after ten years dry, just completely lost the picture of why he wanted to quite. He survived three months. Another, seventeen years, crashed his car and had a long miserable death in the ICU, completely alone. I was his only visitor. Some die by misadventure, others take their own lives out of sheer despair.

You might think that won’t happen to you. It may not in your present way of thinking, but add alcohol, and there are no guarantees about anything.

Still, I have been in your position and I drank. I survived, and gained a new perspective on my problem. From that time on I have been able to stay sober.

MythOfSisyphus

If things have been bad lately, just pause for a moment and "play the tape" forward to see how much worse they can get. If you drink things will get worse, it always does.

doggonecarl

Good of you to post.

The action that follows the decision to drink is easy--you drink. The action that follows the decision to quit drinking--actually putting down the drink--can be extremely difficult. If that has not been evidenced in your own life, read around SR. It happens every day.

Nonsensical

Fixed your post.

Dee74

How is drinking going to help you deal with a tough week?

The weeks done, so the hard parts over - don't believe the AV lie.

you'd be better finding healthy effective ways to relax and get some downtime this weekend. Guided meditations, exercise, favorite movies, buy yourself something you want that will last longer than a 6 pack...

I really hope you make a good decision.

I often tell the story I gave myself permission to drink for one night - I drank daily for the next 2 and a half years.

You're a long time member here. just like me nowsthetime.

I had to accept I have no control over my addiction - the only appropriate response - the only guaranteed safe response - is to not drink at all.

Rar

Please reconsider Nowsthetime. It's very common to have horrible weeks. We all had them even when we drank. We all have them now. When you have your occasions, you will probably be so focused on the drink, you won't be focused on the occasion itself and probably not enjoy it either. Hang in there.

Nowsthetime

Thanks everyone...

The worse part is that my husband and mother are encouraging me to drink. Went to a nice place a couple of nights ago and my husband First encourage me to order a drink and when I didn’t he offered me a sip of his wind and he actually told me to take a big gulp.

I didn’t And I just let it go. I was fine that night and I posted about it, but as usual my AV gets worse when I make it through a situation when people are drinking. It tries to get me later.

Part of my plan is posting here, so I am and playing the tape. Drinking never made anything better and it is so crazy to see how my AV is manipulating the situation and minimizing my past drinking.

I feel really down and this isn’t like me...

tomsteve

I was a binge drinker so it’s totally plausible...
its also plausable that it may not be a "binge" and turn into daily drinking.
its also plausable that the next drink could very well end up causing harm to people around you.
its also plausable that not allowing rationalization to control your actions you wont have to be concerned with any of the consequences that will happen with drinking.

MythOfSisyphus

Your hubby is utterly clueless. For the good of your marriage and the preservation of your life, you need to find a time to sit him down and have a serious talk. Make him understand that you're done drinking.

This will sound extreme, and maybe you're not "there" yet, but you need to decide if it comes down to it, if you're forced to choose between him and sobriety, what will you choose? A marriage is no small thing but depending on where you are with addiction/alcoholism, choosing marriage and death over divorce and sobriety doesn't make sense.

A marriage is about teamwork, you two against the world. He has to be with you, or he's against you. Make him understand! It's hard enough to get sober when everyone is in your corner and holding you up, and much harder when people are working to undermine you.

Nowsthetime

Oh Myth... I have had so many conversations with him that I already lost count. He tends to be towards the Normie side of drinking and since I quit we usually don’t and he doesn’t go out much but I just don’t think he gets the difference between normal people and an alcoholic. He kept saying to me just have one and that’s it, with this tone as if it was that Easy. I have explained to him many times and I have postes about it here in the last 4 years. The mistake is mine because I have drink with him on locations a couple and only with him. Bat that he does really irritates me but in general we have a wonderful marriage and work great as a team. I have posted about him Before and have stopped trying to convince him or to control how he thinks about my drinking. Not drinking it’s up to me like I did in the restaurant. Before and have stopped trying to convince him or to control how he thinks about my drinking. Not drinking it’s up to me like I did in the restaurant. is support would be nice, but I understand this is up to me.

Feel bette today, but those vacations approach ...