Delilah1

Stewy,

Hope to see you logged on tomorrow with a Day One post, and an update about the meeting you attended.

Snowydelrico

Put the bottle down. It’s about you and your daughter NOW.

The love triangle with booze involved doesn’t work.
Alcohol is all consuming, destroying everything in its path.
It doesn’t discriminate.
Your ex your daughter then you.

Act now or it will take everything, even the stuff you didn’t think you had.


Best wishes

Dee74

Hows it going today Stewy?

D

columbus

Stewy--

In all seriousness, in all respectful, understanding, compassionate seriousness:

Have you considered not drinking anymore?

Hevyn

Stewy - I'm here to see how it's going - hoping you decided those drinks were not worth it & you're back to begin again.

SoberLeigh

Hoping that today is Day 1 for you, Stewy.

Stew1984

I’vd been to play my gig tonight. Been drinking. So unbelievably painful to know that my relationship is completely dead. It really doesn’t matter that it was a disaster, I was with her for 5 years and I’m absolutely gutted and so low on confidence it’s ridiculous. I just want to make it ok but it’s not going to be. Got to get used to on my own.

I miss her, please do not judge me or come down hard. I’m well aware I have a big issue

Hevyn

Stewy, I always thought drinking was helping me cope & get over the bad things that happened. Instead, it was weakening me & keeping me on square one, unable to move forward. You were doing great the past few days - you can do it again.

Dee74

Sorry I'm going to be a little tough. I think you can take some truth.
I wasted years on broken hearts, so I feel qualified to dish out the good oil.

The thing is Stewy it ended a year ago or more.

You're pining for something that no longer exists.

It's over, man.

You need to deal with it - which means not drinking. Drinking is avoidance.
Waiting for a psychologist to see you before you can change is avoidance too.

This is your life Stewy - how many more months are you going to wilfully waste?

You're a good deal stronger than you're letting yourself be right now.

You're not being fair to yourself or to the people in your life who really do love you.

You'll never be able to move on until you let this go - and you'll never let this go while you're using beer as a coping strategy.

D

Snowydelrico

Stewy, why not try using that negative energy and focus and blame it on the booze.
It’s not your friend, cut ties with it.

It’s nobody’s fault, the point is how to change.
The only thing that is stopping you is your thought prossess.

You know what the boozers life has to offer already.
Why not try something different (life) it won’t kill you. Then you can say you’ve lived 2 lives. How lucky is that!?

It is possible , and all this that you are feeling can dealt with ‘responsibly’( that’s a scary word to active alcoholics) teaching your daughter how to deal with things properly.

Take care stewy, be kind to yourself

tomsteve

youve been beating yourself up and destroying yourself, yet we cant add depth and weight to what we say to try and help ya get yer head outta yer but?

nothing, absolutly nothing unique about relationships ending.
friday you were ready to start the work.
it reads like the music gig was more important than your future, wouldnt you say? you chose that over recovery,right?
and.no, youre not so important you cant quit the band,stewy. theres a jillion musicians out there.
if i recall, metallica got tired of mustanes drinking( which is rather crazy) and booted him. look what happened to them alone. i think mustane had a pretty decent career afterwards- AFTER he got sober.
not only that, drunk musicians only sound good to drunk listeners.

youre choice TODAY- the official start of next week you were talkin about the other day.
hope theres no more excuses.

Buckley3

Yea, it kinda does. I mean - I get it. I've been there where despite knowing it was not 'the right' relationship (whatever that means) it still hurt like hell.

But at some point you'll have to start empowering yourself. Else the self-pity side of the alcoholism is just going to keep you stuck in a place you clearly don't want to be.

I'm starting to think that my (our as alcoholics) expressions of guilt and remorse and self-deprecation are simply another extension of our alcoholic minds keeping us down. Like, "if I just beat myself up enough that will make up for continuing the madness." Instead of just rooting out the problem it's easier to just feel guilty about it.

That's all nonsense of course.

Free yourself. Empower yourself. What are you willing to do to make your sobriety a priority?

Be well.

Berrybean

Hope you're waking up ready and willing to take some action Stewy.

Your own words, before even starting to type the first post on this thread were... "AGGRESSIVE ACTION REQUIRED".

That, to me, sounded like someone who'd conceded that he needed to get a plan of action together and actually DO what he'd planned. Perhaps today can be the day for this.

What is your plan? What are you going to DO to stay sober. Just hoping that somehow I'd stay sober and feel better was my most duff plan. It never worked. I had to do things that I really didn't want to do, because I finally recognised that aggressive action was necessary for me as well - I needed to do them if I was going to be comfortable enough in sobriety to maintain it.

Yes Stewy. Aggressive action IS required. The questions now are, what action? And, are you willing to take it?

BB

Rar

I agree with Buckley. I wonder if your obsession with the end of the relationship with your ex is a manifestation of your alcoholism. Personally, during my times of misery, I would focus on how miserable I was and attribute my misery to some external situation, rather than the depression and anxiety caused by alcohol abuse. If only 'this' was different, then I wouldn't drink or be sad, etc.

Stew, I think if the alcohol was eliminated in your life, you would recover from the Ex too. Certainly can't hurt and surely it will help.

thomas11

It appears that your own self determination and SR are not enough to keep you sober. Reach out to someone, something and get the help you need. Like someone else said, you've lived the miserable alcoholics lifestyle, why not try something different. You might even like it. No one here is giving up on you, dont give up on yourself.

Babescake

My relationship is dead too (after being married 13 years, together 17 since I was barely an adult). I too relapsed after 3 months sober. I also asked to be treated with kid gloves when I posted yesterday just so I have some positivity and encouragement. However, that still doesn't mean I don't need a dose of reality and that fact is drinking doesn't help. It makes things worse. Stop now and stay stopped. That's what I'm trying to do.

SoberLeigh

Hope that today is Day 1, Stewy.

We want to help you get on with the business of truly living, Stewy, of living a good, happy and satisfying sober life.

Hevyn

Still here for you, Stewy - always will be.

Delilah1

Hi Stewy,

I am so sorry that you are drinking again. I know you really want to be sober, but you need to start taking some actions to help yourself get there.

I know you keep saying you have reasons you can't go to rehab, but what you are doing isn't working. It may be time to consider rehab, to help get yourself back on track.

SoberLeigh

Hope to see you tomorrow, Stewy.