Weekender Mar. 29-Apr. 2: “The Chicken or the Egg?”
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Weekender Mar. 29-Apr. 2: “The Chicken or the Egg?”
No, I ‘m not using the Weekender to ponder mysteries of metaphysics!
This week’s theme came from a fortune cookie I got: “Better a hen tomorrow than an egg today.”
This really applies to the battle for lasting sobriety.
There is a tendency in most of us to go for instant gratification. If something makes us anxious or causes us pain, we want to make it go away right NOW !
We choose the “egg” of immediate relief (drunkenness) over the “hen” of long-term well-being and stability.
One problem with the egg is that once it’s gone, it’s gone. Every time a new crisis comes, you have to chase after a new egg.
If in every crisis we turn to alcohol, we are doomed to keep repeating the pattern with no hope for improvement.
But if we dare to stop the drinking, we have a chance to find a “hen:” a state of emotional stability that will enable us to withstand troubles without being defeated.
It takes guts not to cave at first when you’re really suffering.
But if you put in the time and effort to invest in your own growth, you will have access to a hen, from which you can get as many “eggs” of strength and wisdom as you need to face real life.
Tough it out! Hold out for the hen!
This week’s theme came from a fortune cookie I got: “Better a hen tomorrow than an egg today.”
This really applies to the battle for lasting sobriety.
There is a tendency in most of us to go for instant gratification. If something makes us anxious or causes us pain, we want to make it go away right NOW !
We choose the “egg” of immediate relief (drunkenness) over the “hen” of long-term well-being and stability.
One problem with the egg is that once it’s gone, it’s gone. Every time a new crisis comes, you have to chase after a new egg.
If in every crisis we turn to alcohol, we are doomed to keep repeating the pattern with no hope for improvement.
But if we dare to stop the drinking, we have a chance to find a “hen:” a state of emotional stability that will enable us to withstand troubles without being defeated.
It takes guts not to cave at first when you’re really suffering.
But if you put in the time and effort to invest in your own growth, you will have access to a hen, from which you can get as many “eggs” of strength and wisdom as you need to face real life.
Tough it out! Hold out for the hen!
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Shotgun! Woot Woot!
Your OP captures nicely a theme I have been exploring lately: The price of my short-term gratification/pacification was long term joy/well-being.
It was too high a price.
Hold out for the hen!
Your OP captures nicely a theme I have been exploring lately: The price of my short-term gratification/pacification was long term joy/well-being.
It was too high a price.
Hold out for the hen!
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,762
Great OP Gilmer, I've been fortunate enough not have to face any extreme hardship or crisis thus far. But those challanges I have had to deal with, be they physical, emotional or intellectual, I've looked at them as opportunity for growth.
Does everyone else have good Friday off? It's a stat holiday in Canada (Except for Quebec).
Does everyone else have good Friday off? It's a stat holiday in Canada (Except for Quebec).
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,205
Super intro Gilmer. Short term gratification. Unfortunately for me all I could ever see was the gratification part and never the short term. Quitting was hard to begin with but much easier in the long term.
Today is the first of five days off for me although for reasons I will not bore you with I am having to check my work emails.
Today is the first of five days off for me although for reasons I will not bore you with I am having to check my work emails.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
In for the weekend!
Love the analogy.
This is my favourite weekend of the year! - Partly because the kids all get new bikes, spending the afternoon outside and dh and I get some snuggle time on the couch Partly because of the awesome Easter brunch at the club, mostly because of the promises of renewal and life.
Although the mention of chickens makes me laugh - I have bugged dh for backyard chickens for years. I thought I had him on board with quack-less ducks. I get sick of turkey and for Christmas and special occasions, prefer a duck or goose, it seemed too easy, him going along with it. I finally realised why he was seemingly OK with the ducks, when our other discussions of fowl had gone foul, when I said, you know you can't shoot them right? They have to go to the abattoir. Then ducks were off the table I'm still holding out for pea hens and pea cocks.
This weekend is a bit bitter sweet, the last weekend and holiday in our old house. Next week it is onward and upward! I joked with our mortgage gal, I was excited to be house/property poor - I hear it's a great life.
Love the analogy.
This is my favourite weekend of the year! - Partly because the kids all get new bikes, spending the afternoon outside and dh and I get some snuggle time on the couch
Partly because of the awesome Easter brunch at the club, mostly because of the promises of renewal and life.Although the mention of chickens makes me laugh - I have bugged dh for backyard chickens for years. I thought I had him on board with quack-less ducks. I get sick of turkey and for Christmas and special occasions, prefer a duck or goose, it seemed too easy, him going along with it. I finally realised why he was seemingly OK with the ducks, when our other discussions of fowl had gone foul, when I said, you know you can't shoot them right? They have to go to the abattoir. Then ducks were off the table
I'm still holding out for pea hens and pea cocks. This weekend is a bit bitter sweet, the last weekend and holiday in our old house. Next week it is onward and upward! I joked with our mortgage gal, I was excited to be house/property poor - I hear it's a great life.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
Very thought provoking OP, Gilmer! Thanks!
The whole instant gratification thing is hard to overcome at first. But after some time, when you start to see the payoff of being patient and doing the work of recovery day after day, it becomes much easier. Good things do start to happen, if we keep doing the next right thing. It might take a while, but it's so worth it!
The whole instant gratification thing is hard to overcome at first. But after some time, when you start to see the payoff of being patient and doing the work of recovery day after day, it becomes much easier. Good things do start to happen, if we keep doing the next right thing. It might take a while, but it's so worth it!
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
well think i will adopt a chicken to go with my other animals, that would be fine fun mix. My mum used to have all kinds of chickens.
What i am trying to say is i am up for this weekend with u all, just have to make sure i get out of bed and sign in here to find out how all u hens are doing xx
Oh and its day 4 for me so lets get this weekend going. Its not long until i have my first grandson coming!
What i am trying to say is i am up for this weekend with u all, just have to make sure i get out of bed and sign in here to find out how all u hens are doing xx
Oh and its day 4 for me so lets get this weekend going. Its not long until i have my first grandson coming!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
Originally Posted by Gilmer 
MLH, can you eat peacocks? Or are they just pretty faces?
Pretty faces. Apparently the males get aggressive during mating season.
However, one peacock with three peahens - not related will see them breed. Right now a peacock is about $150 and a peahen is $100, so they could potentially be income generators. Except, it's only one clutch a year and clutches on average are only 6 per hen, so $1,800-2,400 a year isn't enough of an income generator to push dh to say yes.
Unfortunately he has poisoned the children against fowl of any kind
That and our friends where we are boarding our horses until the barn is built have chickens and my townie, wimpy kids won't even go in the hen house. "It stinks". They will clean horse crap with me - although I don't make them clean the stalls right down, just pick the pack, but it's just poop! Losing battle, I'll buy another horse 
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