Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery? > Newcomers to Recovery
Reload this Page >

checking in on day 45 (after flying under the radar for a bit) and some observations about me

Blogs


Notices

checking in on day 45 (after flying under the radar for a bit) and some observations about me

Old 03-28-2018, 09:04 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 184
checking in on day 45 (after flying under the radar for a bit) and some observations about me

So... I haven't posted in a while - I've been lurking and reading though. I thought I would check in today. It has been 45 days since my last drink and you know what? I feel pretty good. I can't actually remember the last time I managed to string together this many days. Funny, this time has been relatively easy. So here is where the observation about me comes in... I was trying to do EVERYTHING I could to beat this. I went to IOP (helpful). I am seeing CD docs and therapists (helpful). I started AA (helpful, but not really my cup of tea.. social anxiety is a serious problem LOL) And I was taking the medications they TOLD me would stop cravings. Helpful? It was supposed to be... So then WHY did I feel so terrible all the time? Depressed... exhausted... no real pleasure from anything... Pretty much wanted to stay in bed all day (couldn't cause you know, adulting...) and that's it. I wanted to sleep. When I was awake I was forcing myself to function. More importantly, WHY weren't my cravings going away? I just wanted to feel BETTER. So how did I go about that? Drinking. Did it help? Of course not.. but this has been my go to problem solver for years. I mean, if you're passed out you don't have to deal with anything, right?
Any way, I started thinking about it, and I realized that a medication I had been pumping into my body for OVER A YEAR, taken to reduce cravings, could possibly be making my depression WORSE, thereby increasing cravings, and KEEPING me in this vicious cycle.
I WANTED to stop drinking... so why couldn't I?! WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?! Obvious answer aside...(you know, you're an ALCOHOLIC STUPID) I thought about it some more... and I realized that maybe this medication, that affects the pleasure center of the brain, you know, so getting drunk doesn't FEEL GOOD, was affecting more than just the drinking. I mean, you cant say "ok, medication, I need you to make drinking not fun, but I still want to enjoy X, Y and Z." It doesn't work that way. So I finally stopped thinking I should keep taking it, cause you know, I was SUPPOSED to, and talked to the doc about how I was feeling. She said "Oh yeah, lets get you off that, that can be a side effect." So I stopped taking it, and the change in my mood is phenomenal! Cravings have also been greatly diminished. And THAT'S a side effect I can live with!!!
So I guess my point is doing something because it's SUPPOSED to help is sometimes counterproductive, and don't be afraid to advocate for yourself if you feel like something is wrong
Well, this is getting pretty long winded, so I'll stop for now, but if you've bothered to read this far and I hope everyone has a great day!!!

Kat
KG77 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to KG77 For This Useful Post:
chowchow (03-28-2018), doggonecarl (03-29-2018), Max74 (03-29-2018), Newway7 (03-28-2018), Rar (03-28-2018)
Old 03-28-2018, 04:09 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Rar
Member
 
Rar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: NY & FL
Posts: 3,049
I'm so glad for you Kat. 45 days is VERY awesome!
Rar is offline  
Old 03-28-2018, 04:42 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by Rar View Post
I'm so glad for you Kat. 45 days is VERY awesome!
Thanks! It feels awesome 😁
KG77 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to KG77 For This Useful Post:
Rar (03-29-2018)
Old 03-28-2018, 04:53 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 363
That's awesome! Good for you!!
milly4me is offline  
Old 03-28-2018, 04:59 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 184,729
Blog Entries: 1
Im glad you were proactive with your Dr and that you're feeling good KG - congrats on 45 days

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 03-29-2018, 06:22 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 184
Thanks you guys! The support on SR is so amazing!! ❤💋
KG77 is offline  
Old 03-29-2018, 07:02 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Here and now
 
Ekohe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Toronto
Posts: 258
So happy for you! Keep at it, you're doing great.
Ekohe is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:52 AM.