J50

I had issues too early on Horn, so don't sweat it. I eventually got my swagger back and I'm now on my A game at work. The brain and body go through some funky changes. Just ride it out and know things will get better!

Mac4711

In months 2 and 3 I was at the level of village idiot, so don’t sweat it. A tadpole would have beaten me at chess. But at six months plus you’ll be sharp as a tack, I promise!

Sophie11

I’m not sure on the precise physiology, but I think the most common risk for us problem drinkers is alcoholic dementia. I know my memory was becoming shocking, and not just like forgetting meetings or birthdays, but losing my sense of overall timelines in a way that really scared me... it ‘felt’ like early onset dementia rather than just bad memory.

Anyway, quitting drinking is obviously the first step, and then the brain has to recover from vitamin imbalances. As others are saying, this seems take a long time. I’m just over three weeks in to sobriety and my memory is already vastly improved, but still nowhere near what it was before. I’m with you in that this scares me...but I feel all I can do is ‘hang in there’ and hope and not drink.

I’m not sure if we’ve killed off brain cells, which generally stop being produced at the end of adolescence...so if they are gone they’re gone... but the good news is that dendritic growth between brain cells can become ‘bushier’ to compensate for cellular loss (that dendritic growth being typical in the normal aging brain so I presume must be so in the recovering alcoholic brain as well).

I’m just speculating though based on the bits I know about neurology... I found this webpage interesting? https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/info/20007/types_of_dementia/14/alcohol-related_brain_damage_including_korsakoffs_syndrome

In short: I’d definitely give it a few months before you worry about anything. It’s goimg to take a while to undo the damage we’ve done to our poor grey matter (and I’m very much including myself in this)... for now I’m just appreciating NOT having to think through a hangover, even if I’ve got ‘recovery fog’! Hang in there!

jsprplc2006

I know that alcoholic brain damage is definitely a real thing, at least based on my own experiences; When I was a child, my school had all the students at my school IQ tested by a professional psychologist in order to stream us into gifted classes. 20 years later, the same thing was done because I wanted some academic accommodations in a post-secondary program I'm taking, and the score was a full 24 points lower, after having been an alcoholic for 5 years. It's just a number, but I'm not surprised if it's accurate.

MindfulMan

Not sure how long you've been sober. Are you on any new medication?

I may have had very early symptoms of Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome when I went into rehab. My memory and cognition have slowly gotten better, as have my balance issues. Coincidentally seeing a neurologist tomorrow for an examination. If they feel there is a "there" there, they will schedule an MRI.

It's SERIOUSLY better than it was. As in WAY WAY better. As bad as I think it is, I have to remind myself that I passed three real estate licensing classes fairly easily so it can't be THAT dire, starting at 6 months sober (I'm just shy of a year). Still, I was like you, I remembered EVERYTHING.

Some of this for me might just be age.

Or lingering and possibly small but permanent effects from my last binge. A parting gift from booze.

Snowydelrico

After time I found the stretches of sharpness and detailed memories got longer and the brain fog got less.
I felt like a zombie for what seemed an age.
Kept telling myself I’m doing enough it will get better don’t worry.

Rar

Yup - me too. spacing out, thinking about other things instead of what I'm supposed to be concentrating on

I've also noticed that I'm really not interested in other's conversations. I find myself zoning out and thinking about something else.

ozm8ey

Same here i have just sorta accepted it though. All that drinking takes its toll

August252015

Me, too.

And FWIW - I too have a similar educational and "corporate success" background, based on what you said. Always the "smart one" in any setting, since about birth.

Alcoholism doesn't care and yeah, we killed brain cells. But recovery, time and sobriety with a focus on good self-care NOW, do a whole lot to heal.

Keep going.

Vinificent

Thank you for posting this...I feel the same. Been beating myself up over scoring low on a re-certification exam I need for my job, and my job depends on it. Oddly I was drinking when I was first certified, so I thought the re-cert would be a piece of cake, but it wasn't, and now I am freaking out. I am 11 months sober and also concerned I did permanent damage in the last few years of drinking, or that being 7 years older is the culprit.
I also had a scary moment last month...I was talking to a friend that I have known for 10 years and literally forgot his name!! I had to really think about it and it finally came to me but man that was terrifying!!
Anyhow - Sorry to make this about me but wanted to let you know you are not alone and ask you to post if you find anything that helps with this, such as vitamin supplements or mind exercises.

Gottalife

Big shots of vitamin B was a standard treatment on admission to the alcooholic ward I was in. Judging by the screams it was done with the biggest, bluntest needle they could find.

Vandermast

hey there

I know I got brain damage

or at least some days it feels like it.

will improve with time hopefully

Porcetta

Going through the same currently! Speech problems, clumsy, no memory, tremor, cant retain info, cant make decisions......

I only hope things improve as people mention. Feels like I am being punished for stopping the booze

Dee74

Hi and welcome Porcetta

I hope you can get past that - it takes a little time for body and mind to heal but, as long as it might seem, it's a drop in the bucket against the time I spent drinking.

The only punishment is the punishment we inflict on ourselves by drinking.

D

tekink

This sounds like PAWS, I suggest reading up on it so you have some understanding.

It was really bad for me, I felt like I was going insane. PAWS can last a while.

Think of it as a warning sign showing you the damage you were doing to yourself.

Basically when you are drinking all the time your brain chemistry changes to accommodate the way it reacts to the alcohol. When you take the alcohol away it puts your brain in a chemical imbalance that can affect different people differently.

I had memory problems, anger problems, unstable emotions, confusion, periods of extreme apathy, the list goes on.. After around 7 months it started easing a bit noticeably. After around a year things started feeling a lot better but I can still feel a bit off sometimes. It comes and goes in waves for me but the waves are smaller and lessening.

MindfulMan

I'm hoping for the "about a year" part.

Off to the neurologist to start the process of checking it out. I got a clean bill of health otherwise last month, my body is healthier than it's been in 20 years. Hope the mind is OK.

Whatever the answer, it may fall under the "things I cannot change" category, if it is damage caused WK syndrome, or toxic reaction to alcohol and drugs.

Oh well. I'll live with what I have, do whatever I can to continue healing, and make the best of it.

I look at it as dodging a bullet, if I'd kept drinking it would have been much worse. Good thing I stopped when I did.

All I know is that there is a 0% chance of alcohol and drugs worsening my mental state if I stay sober, and 100% chance that I'm risking further neurological issues if I start again.

So give it time. If there is permanent brain damage, there's not much you can do about the past. Ever. So look forward.

The probability is that it's your brain resetting and you will be fine. Just a few years older.

MindfulMan

Its official. Neuropathy in the ankles, memory and cognitive issues, and balance issues. Almost certainly alcohol related, and quite possible beginnings of WK when I entered rehab last May. The memory loss may have started before then and had other causes and may also be medication related. I have a physical therapy referral for the balance issues. Brain MRI in a few weeks.

Although how I am now may be as good as it gets, all of this neurological damage is very minor and should have very little effect in my life going forward. In addition to the PT I will start riding a bicycle to improve my balance. I will need to write more stuff down to compensate and possibly build some new neural pathways to make up for the fried ones. I aced every memory test except one. She said five words and had me repeat them from memory three times. That was fine. She asked again in 5 minutes and I could only remember 2. Balance was heel to toe walking.

Before anyone starts to freak out and worry that they are permenantly incapacitated,remember I drank heavily off and on for years with repeat at-home detoxes, and finally drank 20-25 drinks a day around the clock on top of sleep meds. I ALMOST got off scott free. The two morals of the story...detox medically if you can and more importantly STOP DRINKING. My symptoms are extremely minor, but had I not stopped I could easily have ended up in a ward with wet brain.

Dee74

I he brain is pretty amazing tho - I had a bad last detox with a couple of mini strokes.

I thought I was as good as I was going to get...but the brain compensates...different parts of the brain can actually retrain themselves to do other functions.

5 years in to recovery I felt I was back to my mental peak - sure I may not proofread like I used to, I may mistype a word here or there or forget a name or something for a minute or two before I find it, but none of that is unusual amongst the people I know of my age or older.

D

ozm8ey

Weird thing for me is my long term memory is still perfect like i can remember things i did yesyerday 10 years ago and words i heard etc but my short term memory sucks like I'd see a news headline then look away and only remember half of what it said.

shortstop81

I'm a little over 90 days in, and I've had occasions where my brain has a "glitch." I've felt pretty sharp otherwise, but once in a while I'll lose words, codes, names - things that would normally be imprinted in my memory.

I know it's temporary and still early for me.