Stillanxious777

First post here...

Wife goes to rehab in Fla for second time in one year. Three weeks in she calls and says she’s filing for divorce. I was blown away. 11 years of marriage and effort to support her while she was ‘recovering’.

Some background:
She has been having a rehab romance for a year. She has cheated on me, wrecked cars, lied - all of the usual addiction behavior. We moved to this area because she got a job. She was fired in 6 months. No health insurance so no access to therapy. I’m only doing some PT work. Taking care of kids is a heavy load.

she tells everyone I’m the reason for her problems. I really shouldn’t be surprised. Living with her is like living in constant chaos and fear.

We have two kids, 9 and 10. I’ve consulted an attorney. Advised to take kids and leave while she is still in rehab. Just couldn’t do that.

I know she is sick. I’m really angry. Going to Al Anon meetings. They help some.

I’ve been reading a lot from this site. Found it comforting.

Thanks

Hawkeye13

So why aren't you listening to the legal advice?
What would be in the best interest of the children?
A peaceful home with a stable parent, or chaos when
she comes back?

I'm really sorry you are going through this again, but sounds
like she hasn't changed much and you may want to save yourself and kids
from her crap at this point.

least

Welcome to the family. Why won't you take the kids and leave? Seems to me she wants to end the marriage anyway.

She seems to not be trustworthy.

I hope AlAnon gives you strength to do whatever is necessary.

Anna

Welcome!

I hope that you do the right thing for your children and yourself.

chowchow

That sucks. It is easy to say I would leave and knowing me I bet I would but I am not in your shoes. Your wife sounds like she hasn't hit her bottom yet and she won't with you around (in my humble opinion). Just for the kids alone it's better to have a stable home than live in chaos with a very sick parent.

I wish the best for you and for your children.

daredevil

An attorney familiar with the relevant law and the particular facts of your case is likely giving you the best advice possible with respect to what you should do and what’s in the best interest of the children. It may not be what you want to hear, and I am sure you’ll get lots of support here, but as far as listening to suggestions, it’s likely in your best interests not to be swayed by opinions and views from anyone that isn’t familiar with the requisite law and fully aware of the facts of your particular case.

I wish you the best of luck as you endeavor through this. This is definitely a difficult situation, and I sympathize.

Ladysadie

It takes a lot of strength to make changes but the other posters are right on, you need to think in terms of what is best for your children first, they need leadership of a sober parent. I would follow your attorney's advice, as hard as that may be. If you are not financially able to get on your feet without her, there are services that help (temporary aid to needy families, food stamps, medicaid, etc)