Natasha1994

Today is my first day being sober. The past 2 years I have been constantly drinking. I've went from casually drinking to drinking every single day. Sometimes all day. Today is the first day I finally admit that I am an alcoholic. I would always make excuses for my actions, and say "oh I'm only going to have a couple". My boyfriend finally gave me an ultimatum, telling me If I don't stop drinking that he is going to leave me. He's put up with a lot, and I kept promising him my drinking would slow down and it never has happened, and it can't happen because I am the type of person who can't drink. I turn into a horrible person when I drink and I hate myself for it. The only thing that will save me is if I quit. I get very emotional and suicidal when I drink. I suffer bad anxiety. And I know if I don't quit now something very bad is going to happen to me. I need help, I'm at my rock bottom. I got a DUI back in December and instead of slowing down on drinking started drinking way worse. Sometimes I would start at 8 in the morning and drink all day. I feel like a fool. I blew 3x the legal limit at 2:00 in the afternoon. Im a 130 pound 5'6 female. A non alcoholic could have died, but since my body is so immune to it I was able to function somewhat properly. I don't know what to do, I think talking to people who are going through this will help me.

lessgravity

Natasha - welcome. Much wisdom to be found here.

Good for you for facing your addiction at 24. Won't be easy but you will get much support, ideas and help here.

Do you have a plan?

JayTee33

Welcome Natasha - best of luck on your journey to recovery!

DontRemember

Hi..welcome. You'll find a lot of advice,support,ect..on here. It's a great site if you use the tools and support given. My suggestion,since I didn't, is to use it now. My 'life', if you want to call it that, just continued to get worse in all areas...until I got better. Seek out ALL the support you can and truly accept that you have a problem with drinking. Not for your bf to stick around,but for yourself. If both happen great!

Also.. post here before drinking instead of after..even for a crave to just have "1"..post here.

ChloeRose63

Welcome to SR. Getting the support you need and acquiring lifelong tools will help you so much. Great that you recognized it early. I wish I had known back then. It would have made my life into what I really wanted. Instead, I lived in a war zone. Distroyed everything I always wanted. So in my pain the alcoholism wants me to still drink. Don't underestimate the power of addiction.

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Natasha1994

Hi, thank you so much. I'm surprised I would instantly get replies once I made my post. I don't really have a plan although I need to put one into place. I am going to start going to AA meetings though I believe those will truly help. Today is day 1 and it is a big struggle for me. I do have cravings but I need to power through it.

DontRemember

AA(court ordered DUI) helped me accept and realize I was powerless over alcohol. This was a couple years after I joined here, so that's why i kinda put an emphasis on 'take the advice/support now'. Also..don't overwhelm your bf with your early recovery..unless he asks, you're just going to a meeting. That's your thing for you to do and own. Plus talk's cheap..actions/doing are what matter. My opinion.

shell77

Welcome, you are in the right place. Good job on reaching out and acknowledging you need support. It really is hard to get sober on your own. I've learned that the hard way.

Natasha1994

Yeah I was going to stop drinking when I got my DUI, but I didn't go through with it and I wish I did. I just got depressed and used drinking to cope with my DUI. I guess I use drinking to cope with everything. I don't know how i got to this point in my life. But I know things need to get better.

Rar

Hi Natasha. Welcome to SR. Congratulations on taking the first step toward sobriety. You will have a few rough days, but each day will get better. During my first few days, it seemed I spent most of the day here on SR reading through the threads. It really helps. Post when you feel like it. Most importantly post if you're in danger of slipping and BEFORE you pick up. Wait for folks to respond. I'm rooting for you.

Natasha1994

Thank you. I think this will help me a lot. all of the positive feedback and support I am getting on here shows me I have hope. Things always get worse before they can get better. All the alcohol is locked away and I don't have a key. I'm hoping if it is out of site it should be out of mind.

DontRemember

I did the same thing..the DUI became another illogical reason(excuse) in my mind to drink more..it's really stupid once you get out of the 'grips' of being active in whatever addiction plagues someone. I'm going with..True madness!

Mummyto2

Welcome, and brilliant that you want to stop now, you have your whole life in front of you, a lovely happy sober life good luck

Natasha1994

I know if I don't stop now, things will get worse and the harder it will get. I don't really have a plan other than start going to meetings and spending a lot of time on here. I might even start a diary.

Hevyn

Welcome, Natasha! You're in the best possible place for encouragement. Not sure where I'd be without my SR friends.

I'd give anything to go back to being 24 & make this decision. You are saving your life. I knew I couldn't drink like others - but I kept trying. I ended up as a much older person with a life in ruins. I had a high tolerance level too, & put myself in danger many times. This won't be you. Congratulations on your decision, & on your Day 1.

Natasha1994

I know. I always made excuses for my actions. Especially the 'sorry I was drunk' excuse. Now it time to own up to it and take responsibility. I always kept telling myself oh I will only have a couple, but the reality is it was never just a couple and it wont ever be able to be like that. I envy people who can socially drink on occasions.

Natasha1994

Thank you for your words of wisdom. I found it very hard to come out and tell people I was an alcoholic because I am young and I feel so embarrassed. Our group of friends always gets together and drinks and its going to be very tough to be around for a while but I will have to get used to it.

ljc267

Well there's good news and bad news.

The bad news is welcome to the club.

The good news is you came to this realization at a young age. Take this opportunity and make use of it, instead of wasting years drinking like I and many others here did.

Listen to the people around here with experience and make a plan to stay sober.

Good luck to you!

Dee74

Welcome to SR Natasha

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