20 years old: Can I have a drinking problem
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Join Date: Feb 2018
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20 years old: Can I have a drinking problem
Hi, there.
I am 20 years old and I started drinking when I was 15 years old. It was never a problem until last year(in the last few months).
I wrote my final schools exam and was a few nights before a exam so drunk I passed out on my floor and vomitted. And it started to happen more frequently. In the last week I was 5 of the 7 days drunk. My friends is concerned of my drinking and in the weekend that passed's Saturdaynight I was so drunk my friends threw all my alcohol in the drain, because I was starting to vomit. I found that out the next day and they drived me home, because I was too drunk to drive(I also found out of that in the morning). Then Sunday I was in bed with a hangover, but later started to drink wine until I slept and Monday I was angry at myself for not having alcohol. Also on Monday at college I didn't do my work because I felt really bad. I hate myself when I'm not drinking. I think I'm a more pleasant person when drinking and I don't feel so depressed when I'm drinking. I can actually go for weeks without alcohol, but then there come weeks like this week where I don't know where to stop and when I do stop I feel guilty about my drinking. When I start drinking I can't stop drinking, I don't have control over it. Can my friends be right when they say for me they think I need help for my drinking? Can I have a drinking problem at such young age?
I am 20 years old and I started drinking when I was 15 years old. It was never a problem until last year(in the last few months).
I wrote my final schools exam and was a few nights before a exam so drunk I passed out on my floor and vomitted. And it started to happen more frequently. In the last week I was 5 of the 7 days drunk. My friends is concerned of my drinking and in the weekend that passed's Saturdaynight I was so drunk my friends threw all my alcohol in the drain, because I was starting to vomit. I found that out the next day and they drived me home, because I was too drunk to drive(I also found out of that in the morning). Then Sunday I was in bed with a hangover, but later started to drink wine until I slept and Monday I was angry at myself for not having alcohol. Also on Monday at college I didn't do my work because I felt really bad. I hate myself when I'm not drinking. I think I'm a more pleasant person when drinking and I don't feel so depressed when I'm drinking. I can actually go for weeks without alcohol, but then there come weeks like this week where I don't know where to stop and when I do stop I feel guilty about my drinking. When I start drinking I can't stop drinking, I don't have control over it. Can my friends be right when they say for me they think I need help for my drinking? Can I have a drinking problem at such young age?
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
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welocme lowlighter. it would seem comin here and asking if your friends could be right would be an indication that there is a problem with alcohol.
im thinkin iffen ya reread what ya typed,you might find the answer.
ive been a member of alcoholics anonymous for some time. i went to and AA roundup back a few years ago where saturday night there was a speaker sharing her story.
42 at the time of the talk, she had just celebrated 28 years of sobriety.
something with alcoholism:
alcohol is but a symptom of much deeper problems and you mentioned one i relate to a lot:
I hate myself when I'm not drinking.
im thinkin iffen ya reread what ya typed,you might find the answer.
ive been a member of alcoholics anonymous for some time. i went to and AA roundup back a few years ago where saturday night there was a speaker sharing her story.
42 at the time of the talk, she had just celebrated 28 years of sobriety.
something with alcoholism:
alcohol is but a symptom of much deeper problems and you mentioned one i relate to a lot:
I hate myself when I'm not drinking.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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Welcome to SR LowLighter. Age is really not a factor for whether or not you have a problem with drinking. It sound to me like you have pretty much all the signs of a drinking problem though -especially when you say that once you start you cannot stop - and you don't have control.
I started drinking about 14 too, but I didn't recognize/accept my problem until I was in my early 40s. You have a chance to make changes far sooner, I wish I had done so when I was in my 20s for sure. You'll find a lot of understanding here and help if you desire to quit.
I started drinking about 14 too, but I didn't recognize/accept my problem until I was in my early 40s. You have a chance to make changes far sooner, I wish I had done so when I was in my 20s for sure. You'll find a lot of understanding here and help if you desire to quit.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
p.s.
ive seen quite a few people come into AA at a young age and very glad to see them take care of the problem and not wait years. something from the big book of AA- the prelude to the 2nd set of stories titled:
They Stopped In Time
Among today"s incoming A.A. members, many have never reached the advanced stages of alcoholism, though given time all might have.
Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily, and there had been occasional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.
Why do men and women like these join A.A.?
The seventeen who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had them; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.
Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.
Therefore, these seventeen AAers and hundreds of thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up something like this: "We didn't wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous."
ive seen quite a few people come into AA at a young age and very glad to see them take care of the problem and not wait years. something from the big book of AA- the prelude to the 2nd set of stories titled:
They Stopped In Time
Among today"s incoming A.A. members, many have never reached the advanced stages of alcoholism, though given time all might have.
Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily, and there had been occasional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.
Why do men and women like these join A.A.?
The seventeen who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had them; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.
Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.
Therefore, these seventeen AAers and hundreds of thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up something like this: "We didn't wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous."
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
I knew guys/gals in high school that had obvious drinking problems. Drinking,to me,becomes a problem when we start placing too much of our energy/thoughts(obsessing) on the drink. Then things start to fall away. Your school work. Passing out drunk/vomiting, multiple times. Friends calling you on it. Just those 3 point to Yes, you have a drinking problem. I'm sure there's other areas in your life that would point to a clear sign of "problem" when you really look at it,with a sober/clear mind.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
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Originally Posted by Blondescorp 
I hate myself when I’m drinking and I hate myself when I’m not because I feel like a failure for not being able to manage it.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 23
Hi Lowlighter,
Welcome. You will be glad you sought us out, I believe.
I am 30 years old, but started drinking around 15. I now know that I had a problem almost the whole time; though in the binge-drinking punk-rock culture of youth, my friends never got concerned. I was the same, I could go weeks without alcohol or incident. At times I would even have one or two drinks and then call it quits. However, there also came times I would drink until I blacked out, say and do embarrassing things, argue with those who tried to stop me from continuing to drink.
Those times grew more often as I grew older, and the "healthy/normal sociable" drinking grew less and less. It got to the point that every time I drank, it was too much. It got to the point that the only people who wanted to drink with me were probably those who also suffer from this addiction.
Forgive me if I'm writing to you as if you were my younger self. But if I had the insight then as you do now, I would have gotten help then. I wouldn't have let embarrassment or ego get in the way, as I believe I did. It would have saved me years of further embarrassment and shame, through which I am working now. If you are even questioning whether you have a problem, that is your answer.
So much lies ahead of you. If you know you can steer yourself in a better direction than where you are currently headed, best to do it!
Welcome. You will be glad you sought us out, I believe.
I am 30 years old, but started drinking around 15. I now know that I had a problem almost the whole time; though in the binge-drinking punk-rock culture of youth, my friends never got concerned. I was the same, I could go weeks without alcohol or incident. At times I would even have one or two drinks and then call it quits. However, there also came times I would drink until I blacked out, say and do embarrassing things, argue with those who tried to stop me from continuing to drink.
Those times grew more often as I grew older, and the "healthy/normal sociable" drinking grew less and less. It got to the point that every time I drank, it was too much. It got to the point that the only people who wanted to drink with me were probably those who also suffer from this addiction.
Forgive me if I'm writing to you as if you were my younger self. But if I had the insight then as you do now, I would have gotten help then. I wouldn't have let embarrassment or ego get in the way, as I believe I did. It would have saved me years of further embarrassment and shame, through which I am working now. If you are even questioning whether you have a problem, that is your answer.
So much lies ahead of you. If you know you can steer yourself in a better direction than where you are currently headed, best to do it!
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by LowLighter
Then I start to drink and drinking is almost like an escape for me from myself.
or
doing it over and over knowing the results will be the same.
i can say how many times i drank to TRY and stop how i felt about myself. i was a blackout drinker and used to think it worked. however, theres a high probability it really didnt work, i just didnt remeber because i was in a blackout.
i didnt realize until i got sober that if it really worked, i wouldnt have had to keep repeating it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 3
Thanks for all the support.
I'm now glad I seeked for help, because you guys point things out that I didn't considered that much of the problem and maybe you can give me advice on where to start my recovery journey.
I'm now glad I seeked for help, because you guys point things out that I didn't considered that much of the problem and maybe you can give me advice on where to start my recovery journey.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
It's honestly great that you're showing concern at a young age. I am 34 now, but started drinking around 16/17. At that time it wasn't a problem. I wasn't getting wasted and only got really drunk on very very rare occasions. Also, my friends were all doing exactly the same thing, so it didn't stand out to me as something I was doing wrong. This obviously changed as the years went on. I'd be getting drunk and having hangovers a lot more often. That has turned into drinking for a few days to avoid the hangovers which is my current predicament. I wish I'd been as wise as you at 20 and questioned my levels of drinking, as they have only increased as time has gone on.
You've caught this issue very early and I wish you all the best on your journey!
You've caught this issue very early and I wish you all the best on your journey!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 131
I first went to aa at 24 years of age, vivid memory of guy telling me it would get worse, I knew then I was too fond of drink. Didn't take action. I could have saved myself so much misery, lost opportunities, lost friends, physical and mental suffering, my life now is a world away from what it could have been. please please use your insight and save yourself NOW! All the best, xx
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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Originally Posted by LowLighter
maybe you can give me advice on where to start my recovery journey.
there are many different programs of recovery available. one thing you could do is look up "big book online" and do some reading in it( the book is titled "Alcoholics Anonymous, but its referred to as the big book) the first 164 pages tells quite a bit how alcoholism effects us, then gets into what people in AA do to recover.
im not sure where youre located, but there might be some AA meetings you could attend- to be around people that have been in your shoes, have found a solution, and like to help the next alcoholic that walks through the doors. there may even be young people AA meetings near you,too.
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Join Date: Dec 2014
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Originally Posted by LowLighter
Thanks for all the support.
I'm now glad I seeked for help, because you guys point things out that I didn't considered that much of the problem and maybe you can give me advice on where to start my recovery journey.
I'm now glad I seeked for help, because you guys point things out that I didn't considered that much of the problem and maybe you can give me advice on where to start my recovery journey.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by LowLighter
That is actually true. I don't like my sober "personality", but I also don't like my drunk "personality." Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts, because I hate myself. Then I start to drink and drinking is almost like an escape for me from myself.
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Join Date: Jan 2017
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Get sober and into recovery now!! It is highly unlikely non alcoholics visits sites which alcoholics use 
I can tell you from experience as someone who got sober in their early 20’s that it’s a journey all right! But one of self-discovery and will profoundly change what you think about everything! It’s this that will keep you sober and grateful for being sober.
Best advice I can give is keep an open mind and accept your alcoholism. Get honest with yourself about the reality of being able to stop drinking once you start and the ability to stay stopped over any length of time.
Staying sober for an alcoholic fundamentally is underpinned by one’s acceptance of being an alcoholic e.g. there is only such thing as more.
I can tell you from experience as someone who got sober in their early 20’s that it’s a journey all right! But one of self-discovery and will profoundly change what you think about everything! It’s this that will keep you sober and grateful for being sober.
Best advice I can give is keep an open mind and accept your alcoholism. Get honest with yourself about the reality of being able to stop drinking once you start and the ability to stay stopped over any length of time.
Staying sober for an alcoholic fundamentally is underpinned by one’s acceptance of being an alcoholic e.g. there is only such thing as more.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Welcome to SR LowLighter. Age is really not a factor for whether or not you have a problem with drinking.
I started drinking about 14 too, but I didn't recognize/accept my problem until I was in my early 40s. You have a chance to make changes far sooner, I wish I had done so when I was in my 20s for sure.
I started drinking about 14 too, but I didn't recognize/accept my problem until I was in my early 40s. You have a chance to make changes far sooner, I wish I had done so when I was in my 20s for sure.
I went booze free '04-'06. Was thinking today that if I'd stuck with it I'd have 14 years sober today instead of facing a pile of crap.
We all have our path. But yes it's entirely possible to have a drinking problem at 20. I suspect there's actually a lot of 20 year olds with drinking problems given the bar scene and campus party scene that I'm all too familiar with...
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There are no age limits on alcoholism. It can strike anyone at any time of life. You're smart to do something about it now, so you won't have tons of regret when you get to be my age.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I had a drinking problem from the time I was 14.
I no longer have a drinking problem.
Because I'm living in sobriety.
This is much better.
It took over 25 years to get there.....
I hope it doesn't take you as long as it did me.
I no longer have a drinking problem.
Because I'm living in sobriety.
This is much better.
It took over 25 years to get there.....
I hope it doesn't take you as long as it did me.
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