chowchow

I went to an AA meeting this morning. My daughter, while I was there, was making arrangements to go to a movie with her friend. She wasn't at the meeting with me. I knew my daughter was going to the movies but I was very off during the meeting. After the meeting my daughter asked if her friend could come over when the movie got out.

I feel like this is going to sound stupid but I went into panic mode. I never wanted her friends over after 5 pm because that was my drinking time. Today it was like I reverted back to that and I was so anxious about having her friend over around then. I think I am crazy.

So the rest of the day I was a wreck even though it all turned out fine and the they went to the movie and did their thing but around 5 I really felt like I HAD to drink and I also felt like I really COULD NOT drink.

I did not drink but I still feel very off. Kind of like they say, restless, irritable and discontent.

Will this ever go away?

Maudcat

It does. Remind me please? How long are you sober?
I felt “normal” about 3 months in, though I still had cravings for another 2-3 months. I am rarely triggered now, with almost 5 years sober.
I understand about the after 5 thing.
I hated to go out at night because, well, it cut into drinking time, and also, I was already somewhat toasted and worried that I might stumble or otherwise embarrass myself.
Drinking is so isolating.
Hang in there. You are doing a really good thing for yourself and your family.
Though she may not have said anything, I’m sure your daughter appreciated the normalcy of the day and evening.

Done4today

Yes Chowchow it will go away.

I remember around 5 or 6 months sober. Driving from work thinking about events of the day and my reactions. And I thought, wholly cow I have drank myself crazy. I am X months sober, I think like a crazy person, and still act insane. WTF?

I had no desire to drink that had left me months before. Somewhere in the next couple of months, my thinking slowly got back to my normal. I completed the steps and work on myself daily. In my two years working the program, I now see how much my thinking has changed.

Thinking back my brain was just wired all messed up because of the boozing. It takes time to re-wire or retrain your brain for normalcy.

Good luck

least

Those feelings go away with more sober time. After the passage of time, you won't even think about drinking. It took me about six months before the cravings went away. Give it time. It gets better.

Dee74

I don;t think you're crazy - it took me a few months not to panic when I heard the bins being emptied or not to feel a sense of unease when it was gettign to 10pm - closing time here.

We lived a certain way for a long time. Cut yourself some slack

Eventually it won't worry you at all to have people - friends neighbours, children or family - over

Rar

I understand. I still hesitate on making plans during what would have been my drinking time. Once it sinks in that I can make plans, I'm sort of uneasy (which feeling I can't really explain). But it sure is nice to be doing something else during my normal drinking time.

CreativeThinker

I remember feeling just like you ChowChow! What's important and critical to you being able to continue to move forward is that even though you wanted to drink, you didn't. Now that you know that you can get through the cravings without drinking, the next time won't be quite as bad. Keep fighting for sobriety and it WILL get easier!

What is your recovery plan? During the early days, I really needed to rely on my plan/tools every single day in order to get through the cravings?

Hang in there!
CT