rich27

Yes or no? what are your thoughts?

AnvilheadII

you last drink was 10 days ago.

you might want to keep your full attention on YOUR drinking for a while longer...............??

suki44883

What are your thoughts?

JScatt

I would date someone that drinks but I wouldn't date an alcoholic. There are alot of variables to your question.

tomsteve

i wasnt even thinking about dating 10 days into recovery let alone thinking about someone that drinks, especially if they drank like an alcoholic.
recovery was my #1 priority and dating wasnt going to make that easier or better.it wasnt going to make me feel better about myself-wasnt going to help my self esteem.

doggonecarl

You wrote this in your initial thread:

You are right. Focus on yourself, your recovery. Not your love life.

rich27

I should say hanging out instead of "dating". What I do is go and hang out with someone to keep myself busy because now that I've taken a break from evening classes I have so much free time.

Dee74

I really value the time I spent alone in early recovery getting to know the sober me.

I was always terrified of feeling alone - I tried to fill that void with stuff - things substances, & yes, people - but nothing ever worked.

Turns out getting to appreciate being alone and seeing there was nothing to fear did wonders for me.

Not sure if you work or not, but volunteering was a great way to spend my time in the early days.

If thats not an option think about hobbies and interests maybe?

D

DontRemember

Well...you did say this in your last thread: So..I'd probably listen to yourself here and focus on your recovery more.

rich27

Yes, my mind has been running 100 miles per minute. I do work fulltime but it does get lonely in the evenings since I live on my own. Hence, the going out meeting people.

AnvilheadII

i can't imagine anything more torturous than "hanging out" with someone who DRINKS when i am trying NOT TO DRINK. i don't see that as a real healthy distraction. us addicts learn to not only use substances, but people too and that is a habit we can learn to break.

DontRemember

I became a hermit for almost a month,maybe more, unless it was work related. Month 2 I started going to AA more than I was court ordered and coming on here a lot when I was lonely. I honestly think we place so much emphasis on 'being/doing' what we think people expect us to be/doing in early days.. Almost like we did when actively drinking or whatever to hide it and that's ok to a point. We also want everything NOW, like a child throwing a tantrum and I learned this via AA and focusing on myself for a while. I just know when I got serious, I didn't want any distractions beyond my thoughts/sobriety at the time. Hell..join a gym, focus on your future studies, write out a plan,play a video game or something. So many more productive things to do than trying to "hangout" right now. 100% of your focus needs to be on you for a while.

Edit: I don't think video games are productive,but they're fun?

teatreeoil007

I think you already know the answer to your question. I think you probably know it's not a good idea to "hang out" with someone who drinks. If I were in your shoes where you are in recovery time I'd stay away from any alcohol for a while until you grow some sober muscles and have a good tool box kit handy. Just my opinion. I hope all goes well for you.

Berrybean

Why did you take a break from evening classes? Sounds like they would be a better way to fill the time than patching a problem with a person and watching said person drink.

How about getting to some meetings as well? Get involved with a sponsor and spend some of your free time at home doing some step work.

Hanging round and watching someone drinking early sobriety sounds like a risky plan.

BB

Delilah1

Hi Rich,

I would definitely not hang out with someone who is drinking this early in recovery.

I have a little over two years sober, and I am fine if others are drinking around me now, but I still don't put myself in big drinking environments often.

My husband drinks, and when I first stopped I avoided him for a bit. I didn't want to see him drinking, and the smell of alcohol bugged me.

I found going to the gym, for walks, binge watching Netflix, reading, bithnrecovery books, and other books to be very good ways to pass the time.

Looking forward to seeing you on SR!

scottynz

I hang out (not date) with people who are drinkers, but have asked that when we hang out there is no alcohol around. If that is a problem for them I would prefer not to hang out with them at this stage in my sobriety. So far everyone has been great about it. I would not expect them to adhere to that request if it was a large gathering for eg a friend’s wedding. Then it becomes a personal choice if I feel I can attend where I know alcohol will be.