Outonthetiles

I support you 100 percent in your choice. This has been the toughest thing for me in getting sober--saying no to old drinking buddies and not doing the stuff you used to do with them. It is a GREAT decision to not go. You'll have to tell him and it'll be tough, but there's no other way to this.

jbean2018

I get it. I quit for 10 years once.... then I started working for a boss who loved to drink after work. That started me off drinking again and quite honestly except for a few days here or there I have been drinking every day. Each afternoon the craving starts. If I make it to the gym after work I can’t wait to leave to get a drink. Many of my workouts are shortened because of it. Sometimes I head straight to the wine store and start drinking right then. Crazy right??
Yesterday I was only going to have a little glass of wine. A full bottle later I decided that needed to be it! I told my husband I need help and here I am. I’m sorry we are here but glad to hear about how others have conquered their demon. The thought of going to a party makes me sweat, will I succumb to drinking, I must be strong!!

MindfulMan

Once you get some true sobriety behind you, you won't be able to imagine a life WITH alcohol.

Mac4711

As Doggonecarl has already pointed out, just deciding to no longer drink is not good enough, you need to put in an EFFORT, this requires WORK! You need to understand your triggers, have ‘escape plans’ in place and also know what to avoid. What will you say if a buddy invites to to stop by a bar after work? What if somebody orders a bootle of wine at dinner and glasses for everybody?
I LOVED drinking in Irish pubs, so I when I quit I sure as hell stayed away from these venues. What were you doing at a sports event 6 days into your sobriety? Not judging here, just highlighting the kind of stuff that you need to think about. Get back in the saddle, we’re here to support you!

Berrybean

When i arrived at AA, still saying pretty much what you've said in your posts and very anxious about the idea of sobriety, I was told not to think about the future sober if it was too much, but to just focus on a day at a time. That turned out to be good advice, and a transferable skill. Who's have thought eh?!!

JUST FOR TODAY
Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for 12 hours that would appal me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY
Just for today I will be happy. Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my luck as it comes, and fit myself to it.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will strengthen my mind.
I will study I will learn something useful.
I will not be a mental loafer.
I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will exercise my soul in three ways, I will do someone a good turn, and NOT get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I dont want to do just for exercise
I will not show anyone my feelings are hurt, they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will be agreeable, I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticise not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests, hurry and indecision.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour sometime, I will try and get a better perspective of my life.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.



So, my suggestion to you is that you just focus on today. Deal with tomorrow when it comes.

BB

Ken0331

The reason you drank is b/c you have done this for a long time, and both your body and your psyche wants it. What you describe - the extreme binge drinking - is worse than daily drinking b/c you are constantly flooding your brain with excessive amounts of alcohol. Then your body has to go off it cold turkey for a week or two, then you repeat the process.

It turns hangovers into withdrawals much quicker.

Now, you won't go back to just having simple ole hangovers much, and withdrawals more.

You can't do this alone. Find some help and put together a program that will work for you, and work it. A decision is not a plan of action.

I tried it your way for a long time, and failed. Every time. Just doing it on my own, I wasn't strong enough. It takes courage and strength to admit we need help and ask for it. Rather than being a sign of weakness, it's evidence of strength and maturity.

August252015

A phrase comes to mind - one my dad used to say to me that annoyed me (go figure): "People, places and practices, August."

That's what had to change for me. I don't drink, I don't spend time in places where that's the central focus and activity, I don't hang around active alcoholics. Just to name three things that are different in my life without alcohol and as I said before it is absolutely better, more full and happier.

Not to bandwagon either, but I agree with the question about sporting events (and think your plan for this weekend is a great choice) - but...
What about when (NOT IF, because there is always a when) your wife finds out about your risky sexual activity (I assume this involves others than your wife)?
What happens when you feel ok with just three drinks, drive your kids somewhere and get a DUI?
What happens when.....

Most of us, most definitely including me, had a lot of "yets" - as in x hasn't happened...yet. But it did - oh boy, did it.

I hope you find IRL help as well as us. None of us have to try it alone, or rely just on hope and intentions to get and stay sober. Best to you.

GoodLife32

It takes some continuous sobriety before you get to that point, so don't give in to the self-destructive urge to drink. It takes a while to get comfortable sober. But it gets better with time. [/QUOTE]

Thanks Least... i hope so. I just feel so uncomfortable at social situations where everyone is drinking. It is where I crave alcohol the most...

GoodLife32

Thanks Mac.. you are 100% correct.. i was trying to prove to myself that I could attend the event without drinking.. Did not crave a drink all week, until I got to the event and everyone else was drinking and having a good time.

GoodLife32

Thanks for the advice.. it really is so tough to think of life without alcohol.. i have been drinking like this for about 13 years and most of my social interactions included beer.. but I need to do this for myself and my kids.

Mac4711

A life time seems too challenging to just about anybody, so that’s why you should do it ‘just today’ or set yourself a goal like 50 or 100 days out. The idea is to get some distance between you and your last drink and you will find that your perspective will start to change. Things that seem impossible today will slowly become a possibility given enough time.
And no more dares any time soon, lol, like going to that sports event - this is serious stuff, protect your sobriety as if your life depended on it, because it does.

GoodLife32

I made it through the weekend with no alcohol.. today is day 7. I craved a couple beers on Friday, but I said no. I feel pretty good today. I'm going to see an drug/alcohol therapist tomorrow. Staying off for a month will be easy, its the long term in worried about.. need to figure out a way to stay off the booze long term.. I've been reading posts daily, it is definitely helpful.

Dee74

Congrats on a week Goodlife

My advice is to not leap too far ahead - all any of us has to do is stay sober today and then back that up again tomorrow

things just seemed to work out the more i stayed sober...change occurred, but it's been good change and I don't regret any of it.

D

Anna

Goodlife, that's great. I'm so glad to hear you got through the weekend and are on Day 7. It sounds like a good plan to talk to a therapist. Stopping drinking is the beginning, but you can make changes in your life to support your recovery.

boyml27

I feel as every 6 months or so I have some sort of real bad drunken “episode”. I can’t let this happen again. I am very confident that I won’t have a problem quitting alcohol, as I feel my addiction is mental, not physical. The problem for me will be staying off the booze long term, after I start feeling better, and my brain convincing me that I can drink again. Do you know what I mean?[/QUOTE]

I do know how you feel. I am 4 months sober after ending up a daily drinker for many years. I could manage it most of the time, but my “episodes” became more and more embarrassing and hurtful as my child grew to realize his mother had a problem and could possibly have an “episode” that would humiliate him as well as me. Of course, I did just that, and no amount of shame or apologies can change his memories of those events. You are lucky. You have a chance to give your children a childhood with a sober, present father. What better gift is that? God bless and I wish you well.

GoodLife32

Thanks everyone for the replies. I feel positive about the future.

I met with the alcohol therapist today. I liked him a lot, and I will be seeing him every week for the next couple months. I was completely honest with him. It felt good to get a lot off my chest. He agrees that I am a problem drinker, and it be in my best interest to not drink. He reccomended that I also attend AA a couple days a week.

He explained how drinking has effected my dopamine, that's why I associate drinking with pleasure, even though it has lead to nothing but trouble for me. He explained that my brain should be able to recover, and that with prolonged sobriety, I should be able to find pleasure in things that I would like to do in the past ( non drinking activities).

He also suggested that I look into naltrexone. Not sure what to think about that. Anyone have any thoughts on that?

I am looking forward to staying sober, and changing my life/priorities for the better.

GoodLife32

Made it to 2 weeks. I feel really good today. Brought my kids to an indoor water park yesterday, and stayed at a hotel overnight. I had very powerful cravens at hotel/water park, because historically these were places Id drink heavily in the past. I resisted and drank coffee instead. Woke up feeling good, and took my kids for an early morning swim. Never would of done that if I had drank the night before.

I was joking around with my wife when I was leaving, as that was probably the first time in 15 years that I woke up in a hotel room without a hangover.

milly4me

Great news Goodlife! And you were wondering how to have fun sober . . . kids at a waterpark - that's FUN!

GoodLife32

True! Not being hungover on Sunday us awesome also.

Dee74

great going goodlife

D