Advice??
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 6
Advice??
Hi
This is my first post as I am newbie. My partner has relapsed & is in complete denial. He has disappeared from home & from our relationship, he is still local & has totally isolated himself to hide his habit. He drops me a text every few weeks, he will not admit he has relapsed which i am struggling with. I dont understand why he cannot just tell me???
This is my first post as I am newbie. My partner has relapsed & is in complete denial. He has disappeared from home & from our relationship, he is still local & has totally isolated himself to hide his habit. He drops me a text every few weeks, he will not admit he has relapsed which i am struggling with. I dont understand why he cannot just tell me???
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
Hi and welcome. I'm sorry to read your situation. It could be so many things - denial, guilt, shame - it is hard to know.
It might be worth checking out the friends & family section of this site for support too.
Take care x
It might be worth checking out the friends & family section of this site for support too.
Take care x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Hi Kez. I'm very sorry for what brings you to these boards. Addiction is baffling. On one hand, your partner has to know that you know. But my guess, and it is just a guess, is that he has planted some idea in his mind that he can explain all of this away without admitting to the relapse. For an active addict, the continued use of our drug of choice becomes our highest priority, even if that means lying to the person we are closest to. This constant deception played a big role in finally pushing me to recovery, but it didn't come easy or early. I would recommend that you get some input from the Friends & Family Forum. I would also make sure that you are taking care of you. You didn't choose this life and you need not accept it. While I am all for supporting the addict seeking recovery, I don't support anyone spending a lifetime chasing around someone who is not earnestly seeking recovery. Good luck to you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by JJ991 
Hi and welcome. I'm sorry to read your situation. It could be so many things - denial, guilt, shame - it is hard to know.
It might be worth checking out the friends & family section of this site for support too.
Take care x
It might be worth checking out the friends & family section of this site for support too.
Take care x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by soberandhonest
Hi Kez. I'm very sorry for what brings you to these boards. Addiction is baffling. On one hand, your partner has to know that you know. But my guess, and it is just a guess, is that he has planted some idea in his mind that he can explain all of this away without admitting to the relapse. For an active addict, the continued use of our drug of choice becomes our highest priority, even if that means lying to the person we are closest to. This constant deception played a big role in finally pushing me to recovery, but it didn't come easy or early. I would recommend that you get some input from the Friends & Family Forum. I would also make sure that you are taking care of you. You didn't choose this life and you need not accept it. While I am all for supporting the addict seeking recovery, I don't support anyone spending a lifetime chasing around someone who is not earnestly seeking recovery. Good luck to you.
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