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That feeling that makes you think you are missing out...

Old 12-26-2017, 12:00 AM
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That feeling that makes you think you are missing out...

It is the holidays. A lot of people in our lives, people not afflicted by alcoholism (some of them around us also are alcoholics) are drinking and partying a lot. I will be honest - if you came to me a month ago and said I would be spending yhe holidays sober, I would've laughed. Among my friends and circles, I am known to be a party girl and many cannot believe I am spending my holiday nights away at home and not a nightclub or bar.

Some of the people are trying to get me to see "what you are missing out on." Tis funny how being sober changes your perspective. A friend sent me a pic of a nightclub dancefloor packed to the rafters, and all l thought about was feeling happy I am not among 100s of sweating people in a confined space.

I am only onDay 6. But on Day 1, I felt like I was missing out on so much. Even just by hearing music blasting from a car. Now not anymore. I am not missing out on anything, other than addiction that ultimately desires to kill me in the end.

Stay strong, my friends. Onwards to Day 7.
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Old 12-26-2017, 01:08 AM
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I'm so glad you're not feeling like you're missing out.

I generally have felt the same for a while now. One strange one crept up on me (just to prove that my AV is still alive and wriggling) in May this year though at 3 years and 3 months sober. In Margate in the UK there used to be a funfair from the 1920s onwards, which closed down about 15 years ago. Well, it all got revamped in a nostalgic way and they had their big reopening in May, with live bands and all sorts of stuff happening. I'm not sure what was going on in my head because it's quite a drive from where I live to Margate, and as a teacher I can't take a Friday off for a funfair opening night. But i was determined to go. Determined to talk my partner into the insanity as well, or find some other sucker who'd go with me. It doesnt sound much, but honesty, i was losing my **** about going to this thing, being completely unreasonable. Turning into a proper brat about it. Huffing, sulking, slamming doors, crying in the bathroom that it was so unfair. Lol. Then standing under the shower (easier to ignore your own tears in the shower) I realised what it as really about. Funfairs had never meant innocent fun to me. Not since I was in my very early teens. They'd been places for illicit behaviour. THAT was what was driving me to behave insanely. The subconscious reaction to a promise of alcohol, softdrugs and sex. Once I'd realised that I had an altered mindset, but it did take several hours of insanity for me to recognise where my FOMO (fear-of-missing-out) was really coming from. Lol. Honestly, I was like the wicked fairy when she didnt get invited to Sleeping Beauty's christening for a while there. Amazing how this stuff can sneak up on us.

BB
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Old 12-26-2017, 02:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Berrybean View Post
I'm so glad you're not feeling like you're missing out.

I generally have felt the same for a while now. One strange one crept up on me (just to prove that my AV is still alive and wriggling) in May this year though at 3 years and 3 months sober. In Margate in the UK there used to be a funfair from the 1920s onwards, which closed down about 15 years ago. Well, it all got revamped in a nostalgic way and they had their big reopening in May, with live bands and all sorts of stuff happening. I'm not sure what was going on in my head because it's quite a drive from where I live to Margate, and as a teacher I can't take a Friday off for a funfair opening night. But i was determined to go. Determined to talk my partner into the insanity as well, or find some other sucker who'd go with me. It doesnt sound much, but honesty, i was losing my **** about going to this thing, being completely unreasonable. Turning into a proper brat about it. Huffing, sulking, slamming doors, crying in the bathroom that it was so unfair. Lol. Then standing under the shower (easier to ignore your own tears in the shower) I realised what it as really about. Funfairs had never meant innocent fun to me. Not since I was in my very early teens. They'd been places for illicit behaviour. THAT was what was driving me to behave insanely. The subconscious reaction to a promise of alcohol, softdrugs and sex. Once I'd realised that I had an altered mindset, but it did take several hours of insanity for me to recognise where my FOMO (fear-of-missing-out) was really coming from. Lol. Honestly, I was like the wicked fairy when she didnt get invited to Sleeping Beauty's christening for a while there. Amazing how this stuff can sneak up on us.

BB
Homestly gonna save this post for future reference when temptation sets in. Great insight. Thank you.
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Old 12-26-2017, 06:02 AM
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When the memory of drunken misery is fresh in my mind, it's much easier for me to resist FOMO, but as the memories become hazy and I take all the upsides of sobriety for granted, I am much more prone to minimizing how bad things actually were, and how terrible I felt. I am right there with you in the early days (8), but I am so worried about the coming weeks and months, when complacency sets in and the AV gets to work. One thing I'm trying to do differently is to not entertain thoughts of drinking at all, meaning that I say "NO" the second I realize my AV is even starting to whisper.
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Old 12-26-2017, 08:37 AM
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I can see how you could feel that way early on in sobriety but after you begin to see miracles in your life there is no comparison. I wonder if they're envious of you when you wake up hang-over free feeling refreshed? ; )
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Old 12-26-2017, 09:33 AM
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Great job on Day 6 . . . Keep it going!!
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