On day one again
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 83
On day one again
But this has to be the last time. I think I almost poisoned myself again yesterday. I have shut the door on alcohol. I cannot open it again. I am going to take my daughter to her counseling appointment, get some Gatorade and something to cook for dinner, and come home and cook dinner, then go to an AA meeting. This is craziness. I am going to die. I have two teenaged daughters and for some reason I am determined to drink myself to death. Insanity.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 83
I started seeing a therapist online so I have that. I mostly chat via text with her and then have a live Skype session once a week. I know I need to do other things such as exercise and hobbies. I'm going to by a binder and some dividers and make a plan book with exercise goals, a place for writing, things id like to try, etc. I enjoy planning things so I might as well plan to stay alive ...
I have had it, too. I want this to be my last day 1. We are in this together. I want to start writing or journaling. Especially since I seem to hate alcohol very much at the beginning of my sobriety. I read some of my posts on my many attempts at Day 1. I have determination but, still can't seem to go longer that a few months.
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Join Date: Nov 2017
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Everyone who has multiple years sobriety started with one day. Today can be your day. It sounds like you've hit a bottom of sorts, and while it must feel pretty awful right now, there's a good chance you could look back on this day as one of the best days of your life.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Everyone who has multiple years sobriety started with one day. Today can be your day. It sounds like you've hit a bottom of sorts, and while it must feel pretty awful right now, there's a good chance you could look back on this day as one of the best days of your life.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Now I am a mess. Things can only get better. Keeping my chin up.
Hi 4thegirls.
I spent years stuck in a cycle of drink-despair-crave/plan. Everday i would wake up and swear that was it, i was killing myself and would change, only to repeat it all again and start drinking after work again. I gained weight, i did things i deeply regret, i lost my self esteem. I lost myself.
Please stay with us. You can do this.
I spent years stuck in a cycle of drink-despair-crave/plan. Everday i would wake up and swear that was it, i was killing myself and would change, only to repeat it all again and start drinking after work again. I gained weight, i did things i deeply regret, i lost my self esteem. I lost myself.
Please stay with us. You can do this.
This made me laugh (WITH you, not AT you). I know it wasn't supposed to make me laugh, but it did.
Alcoholics/Addicts are some of the funniest and intuitive people I have ever met (this isn't self praise.... or is it???) Maybe one day 'they' will find a link in the brain functions?
I hope your plan is going well?
Regards,
JT
Alcoholics/Addicts are some of the funniest and intuitive people I have ever met (this isn't self praise.... or is it???) Maybe one day 'they' will find a link in the brain functions?
I hope your plan is going well?
Regards,
JT
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 83
I had a few upsets when I first talked to you guys last month but I'm on day 8--almost. I'm sorry but I'm not counting the two sips of wine I drank this week. I left the rest of the glass. I realized my mistake of going to a restaurant with a bar. I did not drink the rest of it. I did not get drunk. I ate my dinner and went home. I'm saying it's day 8.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 27
I am on day one - your post totally resonated with me. My kids are 8 and 10 - they need me and I’ve not been there for them and hate myself for it, I just don’t understand how my addiction can be stronger than my love for my children. We can be free of this!
Howe you count is your business but I know my brain would rationalise that one more glass of wine on the weekend wouldn't change my day count either,..;provided I didn't drink the whole thing and left some...
then it would be 'so long as I don;t get drunk'
Resetting our day count is not a punishment - although our AV will try and tell you it is.
resetting our date to me is about accepting we have more work to do.
I lied to myself a lot as an active drinker. I don;t want to do that in recovery,
D
then it would be 'so long as I don;t get drunk'
Resetting our day count is not a punishment - although our AV will try and tell you it is.
resetting our date to me is about accepting we have more work to do.
I lied to myself a lot as an active drinker. I don;t want to do that in recovery,
D
I had a few upsets when I first talked to you guys last month but I'm on day 8--almost. I'm sorry but I'm not counting the two sips of wine I drank this week. I left the rest of the glass. I realized my mistake of going to a restaurant with a bar. I did not drink the rest of it. I did not get drunk. I ate my dinner and went home. I'm saying it's day 8.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 104
For me, and like for many others, one sip is too many and a hundred sips are not enough. I can see the rationalization here, but, in my opinion, going to a restaurant/ bar is playing with fire. I wish you the best. :-)
That you walked away is more important. (Good job regaining your senses!)
That you put yourself in harm's way is more important still. (What happened to your senses in the first place?)
What did you learn that will help you maintain your senses going forward?
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