Canuckleman45

Did you get to a meeting?

KG77

I did. And it was good. I am glad i went.

Canuckleman45

They work for you? Thats awesome!!!!

KG77

I dont know. Today was only my second one ever... first one was Thursday. But at this point I am willing to try anything and do anything to beat this. So i hope so.

DontRemember

Glad you made it to a meeting. Something to add about your hubby.. I don't mean to sound harsh...BUT... This is your recovery/life to manage, not your husbands. He's probably fed up with the hospital trips,broken promises, 'failed attempts',ect..(my inner 'circle' was)... This is solely on your shoulders to do. No one is going to save you,but you and your actions to recovery work. I really hope you find your way,dear. It's work,but it's easy work compared to the daily thoughts/actions drinking brings with it. Hang in there!

KG77

DontRemember
I am sure you're right. He needs to see some real action from me in order to start trusting me again. The fact that he is even still here and hasn't run for the hills is amazing. Yes, it IS my recovery and the work is MINE to do. I cant change the past, but i am ready for a better future.

Dee74

I'm glad you went to a meeting.
Whats your thoughts on rehab today KG?

D

KG77

I will be discussing it with my IOP counselor tomorrow. I still have another 2 weeks in IOP, 3 meetings a week, 3 hours each. They may want me to complete that first, for insurance requirements 🙄😧 i can not afford to pay for it out of pocket or i would have been knocking down their door this morning.

DontRemember

My advice; Just take your time and handle things as they come. Don't get too wound up and think getting drunk will help fix or hurry anything along( i made that mistake a few times). Be soberly kind to yourself today and plan..Tomorrow you'll get your plans in motion.

KG77

The absolute last thing I want today is to drink. Its tomorrow or the next day I am worried about. When the guilt and the shame start to fade and physically I feel better...and I think whats one drink...even though its NEVER one. But I fully plan to come back and read my first post on this thread at LEAST once a day, and any time I am feeling weak. At first I wished I hadn't posted it, but you know what? I am glad I did. Its a great reminder of a place I NEVER want to be again.