I sure am acting like a jerk!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 48
I sure am acting like a jerk!
My son was being disrespectful yesterday, which seems to be a non-stop state of being for him lately, after a lifetime of being such a sweet little boy. He turns 13 this month, so I’m pretty sure it’s just a sign of the times, but dang if I’m not responding like a class-A jackwagon. I said things I regret and I treated him poorly. Is that the withdrawal agitation or am I really just uncovering a fact that I was a happy drunk and a mean sober person?
Ugh.
Day 5 and still sober, though!
Ugh.
Day 5 and still sober, though!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
The early days of sobriety are an emotional and physical rollercoaster for sure. I have teenage kids and yes - it's par for the course for them to act that way ;-)
One of the most difficult things in getting sober is facing the reality of our lives up front and center - VS hiding/running away to a bottle which was our default reaction before. In this particular instance, how about just asking him if he'd like to talk and apologize for the way you acted? You might be surprised how he responds.
One of the most difficult things in getting sober is facing the reality of our lives up front and center - VS hiding/running away to a bottle which was our default reaction before. In this particular instance, how about just asking him if he'd like to talk and apologize for the way you acted? You might be surprised how he responds.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 421
Apologies can sure go a long ways, even for kids. I apologize to my 5 year old because I KNOW I handled a situation poorly, and it's good to role model a sincere apology. Sadly, those two words are probably the hardest for most adults to say but at the same time can be the most powerful.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Haha. I have a seventeen yr old girl. Talk about a roller coaster. And she's a great kid. I can't imagine parenting a difficult teen....and if you're withdrawing right now? Sure, that's tough.
Recovery has taught me to be far less reactive, which has helped me immensely in parenting. 99% of the time if I just keep my mouth shut, things turn out much better. I don't have to react to anything. I don't have to get angry or irritated. As AA says "Pause when agitated". Nothing can try me more than my teenager. But its not her that is the problem, its how I choose to respond.
Stop, drop and roll I say
Recovery has taught me to be far less reactive, which has helped me immensely in parenting. 99% of the time if I just keep my mouth shut, things turn out much better. I don't have to react to anything. I don't have to get angry or irritated. As AA says "Pause when agitated". Nothing can try me more than my teenager. But its not her that is the problem, its how I choose to respond.
Stop, drop and roll I say
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
hard saying, but the great thing is that you can lead by example and apologize to your son- in some way say how and what ya said wasnt right and what you should have said instead.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
I was very short tempered for the first bit, I am at 39 or 40 days sober and it is mellowing out.
Unrelated/related, a good friend of mine is bi-polar and she asked her shrink, how bad will this affect the kids and the shrink said, as long as the parents are supporting each other and the mother is trying, that will positively impact the kids.
Unrelated/related, a good friend of mine is bi-polar and she asked her shrink, how bad will this affect the kids and the shrink said, as long as the parents are supporting each other and the mother is trying, that will positively impact the kids.
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
They have a saying in france : small kids small problems, big kids big problems.
Now that doesnt justify your behaviour. I reckon 5 days sober is very early and probably agitation and agressiveness are part and parcel of the journey.
As most people say cant hurt to have a talk and a hug !
Go against the grain, the grain being to keep negativity in the air !
Take care,
V.
Now that doesnt justify your behaviour. I reckon 5 days sober is very early and probably agitation and agressiveness are part and parcel of the journey.
As most people say cant hurt to have a talk and a hug !
Go against the grain, the grain being to keep negativity in the air !
Take care,
V.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Lakeside, Arizona
Posts: 1,138
Originally Posted by MyLittleHorsie 
I was very short tempered for the first bit, I am at 39 or 40 days sober and it is mellowing out.
Unrelated/related, a good friend of mine is bi-polar and she asked her shrink, how bad will this affect the kids and the shrink said, as long as the parents are supporting each other and the mother is trying, that will positively impact the kids.
Unrelated/related, a good friend of mine is bi-polar and she asked her shrink, how bad will this affect the kids and the shrink said, as long as the parents are supporting each other and the mother is trying, that will positively impact the kids.
These days I'm a lot mellower and it's helping me avoid things that would have ended in confrontation in the past. Coming up on 10 months now and my emotions are far more stable.
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