kleigh123

And for the millionth time I am on day 1 again. I have completely destroyed my life and lost everything I love. I can't put more than 2 weeks together and I just hate myself so much....I'm so depressed and I just want my old self back but it's just so hard

Bunny211

Have you tried AA? I could NOT stay sober without it.

Anna

It is hard Kleigh. But, you can do it.

Here is information on various recovery programs and lots of ideas on how to do this:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

DangerZone

I agree with this post. If you haven't tried AA it's important to give it a shot even if you think it won't work. AA has worked for so many people it is definitely something that should be considered if you haven't tried it already.

Remember this site is amazing but for some of us, myself included, it is not enough. Clearly, whatever you are currently doing is not working so keep trying new ways to try and get sober for good until you figure out what works best for YOU. Eventually if you want sobriety bad enough you will figure it out.

kleigh123

Thank you for the replies. I have been to A A and I really liked it but I'm at my parents and the meetings are too far with having no car....guess I'll just stay close to this site...

DarklingSong

Sorry to hear you are suffering. SR can offer you lots of support. Stay close.
Support to you.

Berrybean

Welcome. I'm glad you are here reading and posting.

Please contact AA via the helpline. They can get someone local to you of the same gender to call you, and I'm betting that there will be folk happy to give you a ride so you can get to meeting and home again. In my area we have done that for a few people. It's all service and it keeps us sober, so it helps us as much as it helps the person we are helping.

There are some great threads on here about making a plan...
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...y-plans-1.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

Also, the AA speakers might be useful to listen to....
https://www.recoveryaudio.org

And don't forget you can read the AA Big Book and other literature online.

Have you discussed your desire to get to some meetings with your parents? They may well be able to help you out, and would surely have your well-being at heart. You might feel that you have managed to hide the issue from them, but this rarely turns out to be the case. Generally it just becomes the elephant in the room with friends and family at a loss regarding how best to broach the subject.

BB

least

I thought I could never stay sober for 8 days, let alone weeks or years, and yet I'm coming up on 8 yrs sober. Don't give up. It will happen if you make it happen.

Dee74

Hi Kleigh

I absolutely swear to you that I no longer want to be 'normal'. My life is so much better without alcohol in it.

I think the key to change for me was building a sober life I loved. That meant a lot of changes, but it has been so so worth it

Have you been working to any kind of a recovery plan at all?

D

oldwriter

I know what you mean about wanting to be "normal". I can remember times in my life when I didn't constantly think about alcohol. I can hear myself saying that "I wish I weren't a slave." Every day I don't drink, every night I go to sleep sober and wake up without a hangover, for that night and morning, I'm free.

Forward12

Every AA I'm aware of have a call line that will have someone pick you up.

Hevyn

Kleigh - I know it's a cliche, but: 'If I can do it, anyone can'. I drank 30 yrs. & in the end, I was drinking all day - with no hope of ending the nightmare. Yet I did - and am almost at 10 yrs. sober. So I know you can definitely get there - don't give up on reclaiming your life. We know you can! Please keep posting.

AnvilheadII

actually.......when we fully commit to NOT drinking.....and build a support system and new non-addicted life, we are just about as normal as anybody else. see NON alcoholics don't plan their lives around the next drink, or covering up from the last drink, or swearing off, or caving once again.....and if we too do not drink, then we no longer have those issues.

we just don't drink. and all that crap just goes away.........

Healthyandsober

welcome!

Susiegirl

Kleigh - I drank to numb my feelings when I was depressed but this made things worse. I am only16 days sober but my depression is so much better already. You just need to ride the craving out for a short time and honestly it will pass. Loving my nightly hot chocolate instead which helps with the sugar craving.

Wishing you all he luck on your journey X

PinnacleOR

My perspective shifted recently when I stopped struggling to be something I’m not. I would argue that nobody is really normal, everyone has struggles, it’s just that we all try and put on happy faces to each other and pretend we’re normal. I have the disease of alcoholism, like my brother is a Type 1 diabetic, or my aunt who manages aggressive breast cancer and has to be on Chemo for life. That means I can’t drink, I need to manage it daily with a recovery plan, I need to do the work. If I don’t, I get very sick and will die. Those are the cards I was dealt, I can throw a pity party for myself, or I can get on living. Thankfully, I am otherwise healthy and can live a great life without having to stick needles in me or lose my hair. AND on the way I can improve my spiritual condition and relationship with others. Not a bad deal really, as long as I am willing!

Day 34 and loving it.

Nonsensical

The night of day 84 I was getting undressed for bed and I suddenly realized - I haven't thought about drinking all day today. I got into bed and the sense of freedom enveloped me like a down comforter and I slept the sleep of the newly emancipated.

I changed my SR profile location to "unshackled" the next day.
I am never going back.
Never.
Not ever.

Stay the course. You can do this.

oldwriter

I wish. I start to think about it toward the end of the workday and as I head toward home, especially if it's been a stressful day and I want to relax.

Also, I noticed that I'm feeling bored a lot. Then I realized that I'm bored because I don't have the stimulation of alcohol. I understand that there's going to be a period, probably a long period, of readjustment and reordering my life, and, as I've read on this blog, there's a difference between not drinking, sobriety, and recovery. I'm at the very beginning stages and yes, it sucks (but of course you know that). If I had the cash, I'd have probably bought booze, but I didn't and I didn't feel like explaining to the missus why I got cash from the bank or whatever.

When I go to bed tonight, it'll be night five (again) of being sober. At least when I got up this morning, I wasn't hung over, and when I did my bench presses and deadlifts at the gym, I was lifting clean. That's a plus.

axeman5971

Find a way to get to another meeting, find someone in the home group, and say you’d like to keep coming back but need a ride. You will almost always get a yes. It helps them as much as it helps you!

Gottalife

How far is too far?

It was never too far for me to go get a drink.

With any other terminal illness it was never too far to go for treatment.

My first meetings were about 6 miles away, and I bussed there very night, rain or fine.

The other day I was ready to go to my current home group when it began pouring with rain. I was travelling on a motor bike. I remembered that a bit of rain never stopped me from getting a drink. I made it to the meeting.

Really, it is a question of attitudes and priorities. In my home town, most groups say if you can get there, we'll get you home.