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7 weeks sober. I canít control my emotions.

Old 11-20-2017, 08:10 PM
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7 weeks sober. I canít control my emotions.

Hi, Iím turning 50 soon and I have drank myself to sleep for 25 years, at least. 7 weeks sober is huge for me, but my emotions are all over the place. I canít seem to control the irritability, the sorrow, the anxiety. I am isolating because I donít want to socialize. I went to my mother in laws for a birthday dinner and while others drank and/or socialized, I cooked and baked up a storm in my own world. I canít keep this up. Can anyone relate? Can anyone advise me on when my thinking will shift?
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Old 11-20-2017, 08:20 PM
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turning 50 is rough and doing it alone and isolated and newly sober is the perfect trifecta storm to drive anyone crazy ! But you can turn 50 sober , booze is no match for your determination.

I recommend searching YouTube for stand up comedy , your fav comedians? search for comedy about what you are experiencing and how you are feeling ?
Have you ever written your own jokes about how you feel?

But,
The easy thing to do is to just keep posting here how you are doing and what you are feeling. Others will have some really good things to share. 50 sucks but it gets better and the anxiety does go away.
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Old 11-20-2017, 08:25 PM
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congrats boyml27, Im 27 days and i feel the same one minute angry, the next I'm crying, can't handle bad things and can't handle good things, my anxiety is so out of control i check my door to see if its look constantly its borderline OCD.

what you are going thru is normal as other people with more sober time will tell shortly hang in there they also say it will get easier
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Old 11-20-2017, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Bob4x4 View Post
turning 50 is rough and doing it alone and isolated and newly sober is the perfect trifecta storm to drive anyone crazy ! But you can turn 50 sober , booze is no match for your determination.

I recommend searching YouTube for stand up comedy , your fav comedians? search for comedy about what you are experiencing and how you are feeling ?
Have you ever written your own jokes about how you feel?

But,
The easy thing to do is to just keep posting here how you are doing and what you are feeling. Others will have some really good things to share. 50 sucks but it gets better and the anxiety does go away.
Thanks Bob! 50 does suck. Major reason I put the bottle down. I love the comedian idea. I just hope happiness overtakes the anxious feelings sooner than later. I know i did this to myself... no quick answers without alcohol.
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Old 11-20-2017, 08:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Healthyandsober View Post
congrats boyml27, Im 27 days and i feel the same one minute angry, the next I'm crying, can't handle bad things and can't handle good things, my anxiety is so out of control i check my door to see if its look constantly its borderline OCD.

what you are going thru is normal as other people with more sober time will tell shortly hang in there they also say it will get easier
Iím sorry you are going through this too. I hope we both get through this soon. And, itís good to hear Iím normal lol!!
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Old 11-20-2017, 09:20 PM
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I don't want to control my emotions. They are what make me human. I fully embrace my emotions, all of them. I want to experience the entire gamut, anger, happiness, sadness, fear, etc. They can teach me much. I shortchange myself if I run from them or stuff them. I don't want to control my emotions, but I certainly don't them to control me either. It is about balance and coexistence.
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Old 11-21-2017, 01:22 AM
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Originally Posted by boyml27 View Post
Hi, Iím turning 50 soon and I have drank myself to sleep for 25 years, at least. 7 weeks sober is huge for me, but my emotions are all over the place. I canít seem to control the irritability, the sorrow, the anxiety. I am isolating because I donít want to socialize. I went to my mother in laws for a birthday dinner and while others drank and/or socialized, I cooked and baked up a storm in my own world. I canít keep this up. Can anyone relate? Can anyone advise me on when my thinking will shift?
There were two ways I approached this exact thing. It is described in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Number one problem and soultion were summed up in the Doctor's Opinion describing unteated alcholism. Something like he will be restless irritable and discontent until he can once again experience the sense of ease and comfort that comes with taking a few drinks, drinks he sees others taking with impunity. i.e. Alcohol was one solution.

The other was to treat the alcoholism, a path I took after all else failed. I joined AA and adopted the 12 steps as a way of life. Dont seem to get those dramas now. But I gotta say I don't know if I ever got total control of my emotions. What happened instead was that after working through the steps, I naturally began to behave and react in a much more sane and normal way. It required no thought or effort on my part, I just changed. Bit of a miracle really.
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Old 11-21-2017, 06:45 AM
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totally relatable. It is a process. I have to continue to work to change my thinking and control my emotions. One of the first things I learned was PAUSE.

Pause when agitated or doubtful. Just take a breath. Close your eyes, wiggle your toes and breathe. We don't have to react to things immediately. We can take our time and sometimes we don't have to react AT ALL.
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Old 11-21-2017, 04:04 PM
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Hows it going boyml?

D
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Old 11-21-2017, 04:36 PM
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Originally Posted by boyml27 View Post
Thanks Bob! 50 does suck. Major reason I put the bottle down. I love the comedian idea. I just hope happiness overtakes the anxious feelings sooner than later. I know i did this to myself... no quick answers without alcohol.
I just passed my 2 year mark last weekend. Pretty much every night while I go to bed i youtube some comedy stand up. There's a lot to choose from and something for everyone.

I find it the best method to truly take my mind off of things. I turn off the screen, close my eyes and just listen and if i laugh, wonderful.

Ive been on a huge Norm MacDonald kick for litterally a year. I've listened to everything he's done, multiple times over and it still puts me in a good mood. I almost know all his routines off by heart but his delivery just makes me laugh.

Once you find your comedian, i am a firm believer of this type of relaxation. My wife thinks im nuts but she also is thrilled with the new me too. Not a day goes by I dont appreciate how good living sober is. Life is so much better.
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Old 11-21-2017, 08:53 PM
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Thank you so much for taking the time to check in with me and give me great advice. Itís great to hear from people who know the journey and are making it. You guys make me think in a different way and you give me hope. 2 years sounds like a dream, and to be happy too?!? I hope thatís me someday...
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Old 11-21-2017, 10:17 PM
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I agree with finding your comedians (or anything that makes you laugh). I do this on YouTube too for a healthy form of escape and renewal. I like to watch bloopers on YouTube or gag reels from my favorite comedies.

Also, I recommend getting involved with a Closed AA meeting. It's new for me. It really helps to be face to face, real life, with people who feel exactly like you do....or have walked the path years before. I can't put it into words.
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Old 11-22-2017, 12:39 AM
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I just wanted to say congratulations on 7 weeks sober. I'm only on day 10 so that seems like such a huge accomplishment , and it is! With all of your mood issues right now I would just suggest doing your best to take care of yourself such as getting sleep drinking water and eating nutritious food. Not sure if you ever wanted to see a therapist or a psychiatrist but maybe that could be an option. Best of luck.
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