Hendrix

Sorry to bore you with my cries for help but as the title says I just haven't got the oomph to stop again. Over the last 4 years I resigned from 2 really good jobs and have gone self employed. Having fallen off the wagon I'm now back to where I was - and worse. Without a boss and anyone to be accountable to I haven't worked for about 4 weeks. My drinking has returned to every day and most of the day and my life life revolves around it - and where and when to hide the evidence. I need to be able to NOT drink tomorrow ... to give myself some space and wake up feeling less than ****. I despise myself just now but I'm actually a decent bloke, husband and father...... How do I start to stop drinking again tomorrow?

Hats

I can relate to what your going through Hendrix.
I'll can I do is share whats helped me.
1st, I just plain and simple had to get in enough pain and misery and realize I can't go on like this, I had to admit complete defeat from alcohol.
I need the willingness to do what ever it took to stay sober.
I needed HELP
I could not longer keep trying to do it on my own. My own will had failed me many times over, repeatedly.
What has helped me....
I reached out to AA and got a sponsor (Doesn't have to be AA, there are other programs out there, SMART, Life Ring ect).
I got a addictions councilor
I went to my doctor and was honest about my drinking
I go to as many meetings as possible
I talk to my sponsor almost daily
I pray daily to stay sober
I make a commitment on SR everyday to stay sober
I don't put myself in situations that could trigger or temp me

Think about this.. In the end I was willing to go to any lengths to get my next drink. Now, I'm willing to go to any lengths to stay sober.

If I can do this, so can you my friend.
Good luck and god bless

tomsteve

i think it would start by wanting to be sober more than ya want to drink.
then follow that with being willing to go to ANY lengths for victory over alcohol.
then get into action- get involved in a recovery program.

doggonecarl

Get a head start. If you are drinking now, stop. Dump what you have.

Drinking is easy. Stopping is hard...




...but not impossible. So stop viewing it that way.

Verdantia

Hey, Hendrix. I really get it, and I have no doubt you're a decent person-so am I. 22 months ago I nearly died in a horrific car crash; at first I was involuntarily committed and then checked myself into an inpatient program. I needed the structure; when left to myself I can get very disorganized and unmotivated. I got lots of help, aftercare and a excellent therapist and haven't had a drink since. I used AA early in my sobriety this time and have been in the rooms many times before--as an autistic person it turned out not to be a good fit personally but has helped many. Coming to SR several times a day has been a great help as well. When I am tempted to pick up again I 'play the tape' through--what would happen if I had a drink? Believe me, they are horrifying thoughts and enough to scare me away from it. I also think of how proud my loved ones are of me now and the pain that I would cause them if I started back in. I wish you well in your sober journey. You can certainly do this.

Dee74

I dunno Hendrix - I never started with oomph - I just stopped.

I made sure my place was dry, stayed in all day and got through day one.

Don't let your inner addict set the terms.

D

Fusion

Stop despising yourself and remind yourself that you're a decent bloke, husband and father. Then put down the drink, in recognition of that fact and build upon becoming the very best bloke, husband and father, without the anchor of alcohol weighing you down, as it inevitably does. You CAN do this!

hpdw

I was just so sick of being unwell and arguing with my family trying to justify being at the shop at 10 am .

Hats list above is worth reading a few times .

Doggonecarl I never thought drinking was easy .


Hendrix you sound like you deserve a better life than this ,in your own words your a decent bloke ,husband and father so give your self what you and your family deserve . It really isn't so hard once the physical bit settles down .

You can do it .

anxiousrock

I totally understand.
Maybe you can start by logging into a few online AA meetings. Then go to the real ones in person.
Speak your thoughts and really contribute. Get support.
Also, keep posting in these forums. Everyone understands and will be here for you.
It’s so hard to realize you need to stop but you have to start somewhere.

Gottalife

It might have to be AA if nothing else has worked. There is a misconception that AA is about meetings. But if you are anything like me, the meetings will not be enough. Meetings are not the AA program, nor are they even a half decent substitute. We are always hearing of people going to meetings and relapsing.

But we also hear good news, where people go to AA, work the steps and recover. A few meetings might help you identify the problem, but the steps are the solution..