James90

Just about had enough at the moment, it this a cry for help i really don't know, maybe? I still feel tired, feel worn out and at the I really don't care anymore stage now. Having a big Halloween bash , and came home to everyone making/ preparing cocktails and just drinking in general , and all I've thought about is alcohol and how hell I'm going to make it through the the night with as much as a smile on my face. I wouldn't say I'm tempted to have a drink but at the same time, the only thing that's stopped me is the near 2 years I've been sober. Had I only been 1 month at this point I can honestly say I would of had a drink tonight. I really need to sort my head out!

doggonecarl

I think I'd have to excuse myself from the festivities. No, not "think". I would.

tomsteve

james, youve been mentioning for some time about struggling. youve mentioned ".I really need to sort my head out!" and "doing it on my own."

youve said", asking for help just seems weak and easy. "

and yet, it doesnt seem youve been able to figure it out on your own.
how is your thinking- the thinking that got ya here- supposed to help ya figure it out?
why can THOUSANDS of people here reach out for help and you cant? are we all weak?

i sure hope ya decide to get help to treat the untreated alcoholism. its not fun being a dry drunk.

soberandhonest

Hang in there, James! We're here to support. Do what's necessary to stay sober. Leaving seems pretty logical to me. Like you, I'm nearing my two year mark and I'm hosting a big party tomorrow. Unlike you, though, my party is for 9 year-olds so I won't have the temptations that you have. Good luck. Stay away from the booze! As many others have said, play that tape through in your mind. You know it won't end well. Keep posting. We're here for you.

Pthway11

Don't give up!! Pray. You can do this! Just don't drink. It's just your old alcoholic brain whispering to your normal brain, still trying to make that old connection that put you here in the first place. It's a ruse and a sham. Ride out this wave of craving and it WILL pass.

Verdantia

Nearly two years is a huge accomplishment, James. I am nearly there myself and if I had a drink it would be the end for me. Consider well what will happen if you give into that craving; it won't be good, of that I am sure. Wishing you lots of peace and strength to get over this obstacle in your road of sobriety.

Dee74

hi James

I'm sorry to hear you're still down and low.

I agree with Carl that maybe a boozy halloween party is not the best place for you to be right now.

I understand wanting to do this on your own - I really do - but I really hope you decide to throw your hands up and get some help.

There's no strength in suffering, and there's no weakness in maximising your support and calling in some reinforcements in order to beat something.

If you listen to your inner addict and drink again, and still feel this way, whats the next move after that for a positive and healthy result?

Please skip the drinking step.

D

Gottalife

I gave in. I gave up the fight to do it my way. I accepted that I couldn't win, couldn't solve the problem on my own. My way wasn't working. I became willing to accept help from people who had a better way. One that actually worked.