Ohme

Hey guys, I've been flirting with giving up alcohol and have been hanging around here for a couple of years now. Those other times, I never felt serious or just like I needed some time off.
Then the last few months things have quickly progressed in my drinking. I'm back up to almost every day and I've had a few big nights where I'm puking and miserable the whole next day... The worst part about this is I started smoking on these nights too and it makes me feel horrible.
Yesterday I was throwing up and At the same time planning on what I would drink tonight(!) You guys said it would progress and I believe I had it under control.
This realization came then that I could stop if I wanted to and it wouldnt be the end of my fun or my social life. The air would smell fresher and I'd stop having to hide this side of me. I could be the person I wanna be, lose weight, have a clean home, be present and respect myself. So I'm trying again and this time I dont feel like I'm depriving myself, I feel like I'm freeing myself.
That said I have already almost purchased alcohol 3 times today and set it back down. Sunday is my FAVOURITE day to drink.
I lost my father and now last month my cousin tonthis disease. I'm realizing that I'm no better off, just more high functioning. Wish me luck.

Silverback4

Well done for posting and making the decision to change things now before it is too late.
Sorry to here of your loss. At the same time you know first hand how devastating this drinking game can be.

Stay strong and put the time and attention you would usually put into drinking into a recovery plan and all of the things you crave, mentioned in your post you will have in abundance and a whole lot more.

All the best

ChloeRose63

Welcome to SR. Good job on not buying alcohol 3 times! You must want to be sober more than you want to drink. I cannot go the store because it triggers me to buy. That is what happened last week. I remember the times when I would vomit and drink more. What a stupid thing to do. I am on Day 2 and counting the sober hours. So far 32.5. Just laying around because I am tired and anxious. I don't want to be around anyone because I look like crap and seem alittle off in my head. I am a secret drinker for way too many years. I am determined never to drink alcohol again. I probably could of not bought beer but my AV took control and I was helpless for 3 days drinking constantly. I am ashamed of what I have become. I need to get better.

Culture

Welcome Ohme, sorry for your loss.

Culture

:

Dee74

I'm glad you're back ohme

you can definitely do this - maybe join the Class of October support thread for more help?

D

FLCamper

Ohme - most people will say that acknowledging the problem is the first step towards fixing it.
Fortunately, luck is not required, just the desire to quit and the willingness to not give up.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

HopeandFaith1

Hi there Ohme you can most definitely be that person. I binge drank almost every night for over 20 years. I had lots of car wrecks, horrible illness, injuries, embarrassment, etc. Etc. Finally had enough and quit for good one year and three and a half months ago - completely alcohol free by the grace of God.

I had just lost my mother in law and brother in law within a few months of each other when I quit. I've lost over 50 pds and yes it feels good to be me again. It does take work and some of it is hard but it's nothing compared to living life as a drunk, believe me. I can totally relate to how you're feeling I hope and pray you pick yourself up and choose a happier, healthier life for yourself. Love, Hope

Delilah1

Welcome back Ohme! I also found my drinking increase to every day, and no matter how crappy I felt in the morning, sometime during the work day I started to think about if I had enough wine at home, or if I needed to stop w d buy more. It was an awful cycle that lasted way too long. I now have 21 months sober, and life is much more manageable, even on the very difficult days.

You can do this, and I promise it's worth it!