New and taking the plunge
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 304
New and taking the plunge
Hi all. Been lurking for a while but was spurred on to post by Mummy's recent posts.
She was so positive and then felt awful.
It made me realise how sly and devious this disease is. How it grabs at you and wont let go.
Hope you find your strength again mummy and for what its worth you now have me rooting for you as well now.
I hope I can summon all my energies for the battle ahead as well, its going to be tough.
C
She was so positive and then felt awful.
It made me realise how sly and devious this disease is. How it grabs at you and wont let go.
Hope you find your strength again mummy and for what its worth you now have me rooting for you as well now.
I hope I can summon all my energies for the battle ahead as well, its going to be tough.
C
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi Cuckoo,
Glad you're posting.
I've found that mindfulness is a very important tool in reserving my energy for that initial uphill climb to sobriety . I was reminded of this last night. I'm now almost 3.5 years into sobriety, and generally have come to terms with the wreckage I left in my wake, and am day by day making living amends for those things that I could not 'make right' in a one off or series of actions / payments or whatever. But last night in bed I suddenly found myself off-kilter. I'd been out for a lovely meal with some fellow AAer ladies and (probably because I ate far too much spicy food) couldn't get to sleep. Suddenly I found that my mind had taken itself on a nostalgia-tour of horrors-past. GAH!!! Thankfully I remembered that I needed to drag my brain back to the moment, and I managed it. That would have been much harder early on in sobriety - it's something that I have learned over time and with practice. The thing is dwelling on those thoughts is draining, and fills me with self-loathing so I get to the stage where I can convince myself I don't even deserve sobriety. Completely self-defeating!
I also learned that when I found myself running on empty, others have what I need and are more than willing to give it. That might be on here or at a meeting or whatever. Prayer is the biggest tool in my box though (which is something I'd never have believed was going to be the case).
God.
What you have all of.
I have none of.
Can I have some please.
I lean on you God, to keep me safe from my addiction and compulsions.
I ask you for the power to not drink today, and to do your will.
Amen.
Have you got a recovery plan sorted for yourself yet? If not that's probably the best thing you can do for yourself at this point. This means the energy you do have can be well directed rather than just sprayed out willy-nilly. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and your recovery.
BB
Glad you're posting.
I've found that mindfulness is a very important tool in reserving my energy for that initial uphill climb to sobriety . I was reminded of this last night. I'm now almost 3.5 years into sobriety, and generally have come to terms with the wreckage I left in my wake, and am day by day making living amends for those things that I could not 'make right' in a one off or series of actions / payments or whatever. But last night in bed I suddenly found myself off-kilter. I'd been out for a lovely meal with some fellow AAer ladies and (probably because I ate far too much spicy food) couldn't get to sleep. Suddenly I found that my mind had taken itself on a nostalgia-tour of horrors-past. GAH!!! Thankfully I remembered that I needed to drag my brain back to the moment, and I managed it. That would have been much harder early on in sobriety - it's something that I have learned over time and with practice. The thing is dwelling on those thoughts is draining, and fills me with self-loathing so I get to the stage where I can convince myself I don't even deserve sobriety. Completely self-defeating!
I also learned that when I found myself running on empty, others have what I need and are more than willing to give it. That might be on here or at a meeting or whatever. Prayer is the biggest tool in my box though (which is something I'd never have believed was going to be the case).
God.
What you have all of.
I have none of.
Can I have some please.
I lean on you God, to keep me safe from my addiction and compulsions.
I ask you for the power to not drink today, and to do your will.
Amen.
Have you got a recovery plan sorted for yourself yet? If not that's probably the best thing you can do for yourself at this point. This means the energy you do have can be well directed rather than just sprayed out willy-nilly. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and your recovery.
BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 304
Thank you all for the warm welcome. My time has now come to be honest with myself and take ownership if this disgusting situation that I have created for myself.
One to two bottles of vino every night for gods sake !
I dont get sick or particularly hung over the next day, usually feel a bit groggy and tired but no more than that which worries me a lot.
Lately I have been getting a weird feeling in my right hand side, sometimes it feels like its behind my lower ribs, almost feels like bruised ribs. Sometimes its in the fleshy part below the ribs. Its not painful, just a weird sensation, but I am looking at it as a wake up call.
Been drinking for many years and way, way too much.
I have too many precious things in my life to carry on like this.
To quote one of our famous british charities its time to 'stop, full stop'.
Hope your all having a good day.
C
One to two bottles of vino every night for gods sake !
I dont get sick or particularly hung over the next day, usually feel a bit groggy and tired but no more than that which worries me a lot.
Lately I have been getting a weird feeling in my right hand side, sometimes it feels like its behind my lower ribs, almost feels like bruised ribs. Sometimes its in the fleshy part below the ribs. Its not painful, just a weird sensation, but I am looking at it as a wake up call.
Been drinking for many years and way, way too much.
I have too many precious things in my life to carry on like this.
To quote one of our famous british charities its time to 'stop, full stop'.
Hope your all having a good day.
C
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada
Posts: 467
Originally Posted by Cuckoo 
Hi all. Been lurking for a while but was spurred on to post by Mummy's recent posts.
She was so positive and then felt awful.
It made me realise how sly and devious this disease is. How it grabs at you and wont let go.
Hope you find your strength again mummy and for what its worth you now have me rooting for you as well now.
I hope I can summon all my energies for the battle ahead as well, its going to be tough.
C
She was so positive and then felt awful.
It made me realise how sly and devious this disease is. How it grabs at you and wont let go.
Hope you find your strength again mummy and for what its worth you now have me rooting for you as well now.
I hope I can summon all my energies for the battle ahead as well, its going to be tough.
C
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Cuckoo, welcome!
Isn't it something how each of us, with our similar stories and setbacks, can have such a profound impact on others? This is a great community. I lurked for years, and until I finally dove in, nothing changed. I kept "trying" to quit. Once I posted here, it was like something had clicked.
This can be your turning point too. It sounds like your body is giving you signs. It's time for a change.
We are here to help!
This is my story if you want to check it out:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rate-stop.html
Isn't it something how each of us, with our similar stories and setbacks, can have such a profound impact on others? This is a great community. I lurked for years, and until I finally dove in, nothing changed. I kept "trying" to quit. Once I posted here, it was like something had clicked.
This can be your turning point too. It sounds like your body is giving you signs. It's time for a change.
We are here to help!
This is my story if you want to check it out:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rate-stop.html
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