beating myself up about not exercising
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Anywhere
Posts: 43
beating myself up about not exercising
Hi...so i'm on day 11 of sober living. I started exercising on Sat by doing a 45 min workout in the park and repeated on Mon...I was supposed to do it again tonite, but am just too tired and it's too hot here in Madrid to do anything of the sort (40C).
Now I'm beating myself up for no doing it. I laying here perfectly relaxed after work but feel like i let myself down for not doing what I told myself I would....now I'm planning to get up early tomorrow to do it...hope I can get up on time.
The question is....should we push ourselves with goals like this in the early days of sobriety...or is it best to stabilize. I had started it to fill the extra time and energy I now have now that I'm not drinking. Thoughts? Should I just give myself some credit for being sober this long and stop beating myself up?
Now I'm beating myself up for no doing it. I laying here perfectly relaxed after work but feel like i let myself down for not doing what I told myself I would....now I'm planning to get up early tomorrow to do it...hope I can get up on time.
The question is....should we push ourselves with goals like this in the early days of sobriety...or is it best to stabilize. I had started it to fill the extra time and energy I now have now that I'm not drinking. Thoughts? Should I just give myself some credit for being sober this long and stop beating myself up?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Yes, give yourself credit, lots of credit. You're on Day 11. I agree exercising and sticking to a routine is important, but maybe you can take it slow. I started taking long walks on Day 1 and I haven't stopped yet. 
I think it's good to work on goals, but remember that your body is healing and if you listen to it, it will tell you what to do.
I think it's good to work on goals, but remember that your body is healing and if you listen to it, it will tell you what to do.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
I started taking long walks on Day 1 and I haven't stopped yet
it's the Forrest Gump approach!!!
yes DO give yourself a break. listen to your body, it's been trying for a long time to get your attention! it's ok for anyone NOT to go out when it's miserably hot and then work out. life on life's terms.....
it's the Forrest Gump approach!!!
yes DO give yourself a break. listen to your body, it's been trying for a long time to get your attention! it's ok for anyone NOT to go out when it's miserably hot and then work out. life on life's terms.....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 33
Congratulations on Day 11. Keep going, post often, check back regularly, if you want my advice. SR has helped me tremendously in my earlier days. I am just past 2 months.
Madrid has a lot of parks and if you live close to one, early morning or evening walks can be really helpful. Or join a pool and do some laps if you are so inclined. But getting a routine is so, so helpful so whatever you do, swim, bike, run, climb, walk, hit a ball, sink a b-ball, box, yoga, pilates, crossfit... remember do it with joy, because it's going to help you get healthier, better and calmer. Losing some weight in early weeks will be an added bonus. In my day, I was pouring hundreds of empty alcohol calories down my throat and in these 2 months I lost 15 pounds!
So, go for it and stay away from the booze. And don't beat yourself up if you miss a workout, or prefer to simply rest a day. It's not the 100 meter sprint, it's a marathon, and it will last the rest of your life if you so choose!!
T.
Madrid has a lot of parks and if you live close to one, early morning or evening walks can be really helpful. Or join a pool and do some laps if you are so inclined. But getting a routine is so, so helpful so whatever you do, swim, bike, run, climb, walk, hit a ball, sink a b-ball, box, yoga, pilates, crossfit... remember do it with joy, because it's going to help you get healthier, better and calmer. Losing some weight in early weeks will be an added bonus. In my day, I was pouring hundreds of empty alcohol calories down my throat and in these 2 months I lost 15 pounds!
So, go for it and stay away from the booze. And don't beat yourself up if you miss a workout, or prefer to simply rest a day. It's not the 100 meter sprint, it's a marathon, and it will last the rest of your life if you so choose!!
T.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
"Start where you are".... and then have compassion for yourself.
As long as you're not drinking and drugging, that's an accomplishment in itself for the time.
We can have a powerful tendency to overdo it. To feel if we're not going all out with exercise or with other things - then we're failing. All or nothing addictive thinking.
Exercise is great. But it's also easy to overdo. Listen to your body. Listen to your emotional needs. If you need to just rest, just rest. Give yourself that space and instead of beating yourself up for it, pat yourself on the back for it. "Hey.... way to go!! You really just needed to lay down and read today. Good for you, laying down and reading!!"
This is a time to be your ally, not your enemy.
As long as you're not drinking and drugging, that's an accomplishment in itself for the time.
We can have a powerful tendency to overdo it. To feel if we're not going all out with exercise or with other things - then we're failing. All or nothing addictive thinking.
Exercise is great. But it's also easy to overdo. Listen to your body. Listen to your emotional needs. If you need to just rest, just rest. Give yourself that space and instead of beating yourself up for it, pat yourself on the back for it. "Hey.... way to go!! You really just needed to lay down and read today. Good for you, laying down and reading!!"
This is a time to be your ally, not your enemy.
totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
I personally set goals and a schedule for workouts and think it an excellent thing to do. On the other side of the coin, I have learned to listen to my body and rest if I am tired or need to miss. After a while workouts become routine and are hard not to miss, but still it is very important to give ourselves a break. If I have to miss a workout or just don't feel like doing one, it is not a big deal. Congratulate yourself for sobriety and carry on. We are just looking for progress and it is never in a straight path upwards.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'd give yourself credit - 45 mins is a pretty intense workout for some of us - maybe aim for a little less than that for a while until you get your motivation and full energy back?
Or maybe switch to early mornings - not as hot then?
D
Or maybe switch to early mornings - not as hot then?
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
Exercise is one of best things you can do for your health and to keep yourself down the sober path, but for sure listen to your body and don't over do anything. There are also tons of home workouts on youtube that are only a few minutes long worth looking into for those off days, or just rest and do some mind exercises with a good book.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Welcome and great job on getting sober.
Personally - I was very sick when I quit, FWIW- I listened to all these people (it seemed like!!) talk about walking and running and working out and .... there was no way I could do it at first. 11 days is AWESOME - and early. IMO and IME, I had to just fight off the voices that expected me to be off and running - until my body was ready.
Beyond not drinking, self-care is so important. I had to learn to listen to what my body needed and follow that. I am almost 17 mo sober - my path was to start a 1 mile (really!) race series last summer (so at months 4, 5 and 6 I had a race)- and that was really hard for me to train for- I remember when a quarter mile seemed like a LOT. Fast forward to last Dec and we ran our first 5K, and in 2017 do one each month with a 10k planned for this Dec. I also started yoga, abour 4x a week, in May.
My path might have been slower than others - I do believe everyone is different but ultimately we all benefit a lot from exercise- and that's ok. Taking care of ourselves - physical and emotional sobriety- is the most important thing.
Keep going!
Personally - I was very sick when I quit, FWIW- I listened to all these people (it seemed like!!) talk about walking and running and working out and .... there was no way I could do it at first. 11 days is AWESOME - and early. IMO and IME, I had to just fight off the voices that expected me to be off and running - until my body was ready.
Beyond not drinking, self-care is so important. I had to learn to listen to what my body needed and follow that. I am almost 17 mo sober - my path was to start a 1 mile (really!) race series last summer (so at months 4, 5 and 6 I had a race)- and that was really hard for me to train for- I remember when a quarter mile seemed like a LOT. Fast forward to last Dec and we ran our first 5K, and in 2017 do one each month with a 10k planned for this Dec. I also started yoga, abour 4x a week, in May.
My path might have been slower than others - I do believe everyone is different but ultimately we all benefit a lot from exercise- and that's ok. Taking care of ourselves - physical and emotional sobriety- is the most important thing.
Keep going!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,907
I tend to beat myself up too......I have this on Pinterest that I try to remember:
I think it's about finding that balance between pushing ourselves a little, but not overdoing it until we end up burnt-out or injured. Keep going! You're doing great!
I think it's about finding that balance between pushing ourselves a little, but not overdoing it until we end up burnt-out or injured. Keep going! You're doing great!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I've always been from the school of thought that says "Our bodies and minds talk to us, we should listen".
If you are feeling run down, skip the workout and get a good meal and some rest in. Just yesterday I was scheduled for my workout but I had gone 3 days in a row pretty hard, so I had a good meal and took a nap. Today I will train like an animal. Congrats on 11 days.
If you are feeling run down, skip the workout and get a good meal and some rest in. Just yesterday I was scheduled for my workout but I had gone 3 days in a row pretty hard, so I had a good meal and took a nap. Today I will train like an animal. Congrats on 11 days.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Originally Posted by FreeOwl 
We can have a powerful tendency to overdo it. To feel if we're not going all out with exercise or with other things - then we're failing. All or nothing addictive thinking.
Just making exercise a part of your daily thinking is helpful. I park farther than I need to from the office, or the store, so I can get some extra steps in. I use the stairs to walk to my 5th floor office, rather than the elevator. Every little bit helps. We can't always fit in a full 45 minute workout, but that's okay.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
Definitely give yourself a lot of credit, tranquil! 11 days is excellent. I live in Florida so I understand about the brutal heat. It took me a while to get back into exercising after I quit, but now I do yoga every day and bike all the time. ( I don't have a car so I really don't have a choice!) In 19 months I have lost 40 pounds and am proud of myself that I am now lean and healthy--and happy. Wishing you the best in your sober journey.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
It's our culture, we believe anything short of constant progress is failure. We need to learn to relax. Go camping. Sit in a chair in the woods and watch chipmunks run around. Do nothing.
I can't seem to stay sober for more than 11 days, be proud of that, please.
I can't seem to stay sober for more than 11 days, be proud of that, please.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
been thinking more about this.
last winter I was getting really down on myself about not running. I was feeling lazy and like a failure every morning, but also was exhausted and unmotivated and a little depressed.
SO - at one point I said to myself "hey. just go for a WALK. Don't worry about running. The expectation that you HAVE to run at least 5 miles or it doesn't count is silly and unreasonable".
I started just getting up and going for a walk with the dog. It was a lot easier to get motivated, knowing it was 'just' a walk. And getting out the door felt good. And the fresh air felt good. And my dog's playful joy felt good. It was a great way to start the day and instead of feeling like a failure, I started out the day feeling positive.
It was just a subtle shift but a huge one.
Think about what small steps you can take that honor your desire to exercise, be active, etc - but don't HAVE to be all-out. Remember that sometimes "good enough" is good enough. And sometimes, just laying in bed reading or going to a movie is just fine, too.
last winter I was getting really down on myself about not running. I was feeling lazy and like a failure every morning, but also was exhausted and unmotivated and a little depressed.
SO - at one point I said to myself "hey. just go for a WALK. Don't worry about running. The expectation that you HAVE to run at least 5 miles or it doesn't count is silly and unreasonable".
I started just getting up and going for a walk with the dog. It was a lot easier to get motivated, knowing it was 'just' a walk. And getting out the door felt good. And the fresh air felt good. And my dog's playful joy felt good. It was a great way to start the day and instead of feeling like a failure, I started out the day feeling positive.
It was just a subtle shift but a huge one.
Think about what small steps you can take that honor your desire to exercise, be active, etc - but don't HAVE to be all-out. Remember that sometimes "good enough" is good enough. And sometimes, just laying in bed reading or going to a movie is just fine, too.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
