Readytodothis

Well hello everyone,

I haven't been on here for a few months, but things are out of control again. I'm laying in bed, not going to work yet again, because I drank all weekend. I had been sober for a couple of months, but of course, thought I could control my drinking. Ummmm, no. I hate this feeling...so depressed and anxious. Sobriety is so wonderful. How did I let this happen?

columbus

"How did I let this happen? "

Probably the same way I did: became complacent about my sobriety after four months. Thought I had it under control, so...

needshelp111

Keep your head up and start over. Everyone trips sometimes but the main thing is to jump right back up.

mejorando

I have tripped up too and it´s very demoralizing. I was told on SR to return from a relapse without fear or shame. With courage and pride! Seriously, so many long-term sober people have gone through the same experience. You got this.

Thank you for posting

Readytodothis

Why do we do this to ourselves? At some point, I'm going to lose everything I have...my daughter, my boyfriend, my job, my house....it has to stop before that happens. I feel like I can't even move out of this bed. And the lying! My boyfriend thinks I'm at work and work thinks my daughter doesn't feel well. Real nice, using her as an excuse. Just not really liking myself right now.

needshelp111

Don't beat yourself up since I won't do any good. All you can do is move forward from here. I spent the whole weekend getting drunk and even borrowed money to get loaded on Sunday. Why?

tomsteve

Why do we do this to ourselves?

i did it because i was suffering from untreated alcoholism, which there is a solution for. for me it involved a lot more than just not drinking

Charli23

Hi ,
I tried the same "control drinking " thing too. I think a sober mind could decide to stop after one or two but that's the problem right there. When you have a couple of drinks rational thoughts fly out the window. I could tell you a lot of stupid stuff I did when I was drunk, things I said to people that I wouldn't do in a million years when I'm sober. Point is that kind of mind can't make good decisions so if I were to try controlling my drinks , might as well right off a couple of days from the 2day hangover hell.
I think at this stage you should put it down to a blip and move on , don't beat yourself up but get determined get well and get a plan together. This is for the long haul and you don't ever have to feel like this again . It's up to you.
Wish you all the best!

Readytodothis

You're right needshelp-beating ourselves up does nothing. What's done is done. It's now time to start planning my recovery. One day, one hour at a time.

Carpathia

I'm glad to read your latest post. You can do it! What's done is done. Power lies in the present moment, not in the past, not even the recent past.

Readytodothis

Thank you all. I just told my boyfriend the truth....that I called in sick to work. He said maybe it is time you stop. He's been sober for 3.5 years now, so I have a good example living in the same home as me Any recommendations on how I begin? I am not planning to do AA...I work with people who abuse substances and would not want to risk seeing a past or present client.

Zebra1275

I am not planning to do AA...I work with people who abuse substances and would not want to risk seeing a past or present client.

Don't let your pride get in the way of your recovery.

Readytodothis

Zebra-You are completely right.

needshelp111

Just stop. Write a letter to yourself about why you want to stop. Find something to remind you of how you feel now.
I don't think AA is for everyone.

Readytodothis

Thank you!

tomsteve

i found it un believable when i ran into an old counselore at an AA meeting, which i would rather have ran into them there than out somerwhere and they were drunk.
im glad to read ya work with people that abuse substances. im not sure what type of work that is, but if its counseling/therapy, then maybe you could start practicing what you preach.
IF you are recommending clients to AA, but wont go yourself, that would seem rather hypocritical.

Readytodothis

I hear ya, but right now, I am not interested in AA-I have actually attended several meetings...a few years ago, when my s/o became sober. I don't really recommend AA to my clients, but I do let them know it is one option of many.

PhoenixJ

Hi Ready...welcome...HOW? For me at the end- drinking was as 'instinctive' as breathing. Breaking that cycle- from the thought, that leads to the emotion which defines the action. Like fire- which need heat, air and a fuel source- remove one...no fire.
The first thing for me was physical dependency...detox. A
doctor- with supervision...I got seizures. Then rehab- to change routine, lifestyle, thinking, looking after myself. Then serious counselling- to break the thought process by learning new pathways in the brain..physical wiring needed to change thought..by using a CBT psychologist and an addiction counsellor.
Also managing money- with HELP I paid off my bills and save what I can. Also forcing myself to do anything- except stay in bed, play games or watch crappy daytime TV. Outside my isolated, drinking safety zone...silly stuff like snorkelling, high rope adventure (was terrified of heights). I do a lot of art and writing. So much so- it has replaced drinking. All of these things- all at once, so many balls kept rolling- but in small steps. Journaling helps. Also diet, hydration , rest and getting outside. Sounds great....it is hard work. So was drinking.
Stop drinking. If you keep doing the same things over and over, and hope for success, where history tells you it will not work..it is time to do something differently.
My compassion, empathy and support to you.

Readytodothis

Thank You! It cannot and will not work. Drinking has never resulted in anything positive for me.

Readytodothis

Thanks for all of the responses. Addiction makes us do things we never thought we would do. Saying my daughter is sick so I have to stay home with her???? Just because I'm hungover. Pathetic. Especially since she already does have medical issues and my colleagues have been so supportive.
Well, it's already done and I can't change it, but I can change what happens from now on.