Coping with stress
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 524
Coping with stress
Hi everyone.
I'm close to celebrating 3 years of sobriety from alcohol. The most challenging has been learning to cope with stress and anxiety because I used to just drown myself in alcohol to escape.
Lately I'm finding it very difficult and feel like I'm close to cracking. All the yoga, running , meditation and deep breaths is barely keeping me sane so I thought I'd talk about it on here preemptively and vent.
I bought a condo last year, my very first home purchase. It has since become the condo from hell. A couple of months after I moved in I got two very bad leaks coming in one of my bedrooms and living room. After pleading with the condo association to fix the leaks for over six months (they kept saying they didn't have the money but would get on it as soon as they did) I began to fear for my health and my pets health so I hired a contractor to cut into the walls. He found lots of mold. We had it tested and its toxic black mold.
After threatening a lawsuit the association finally agreed to fix the leaks. That still leaves me with a quote of over $50,000 of interior damage and mold removal. Entire walls and ceilings need to be torn out and replaced, mold removed. The association of course is saying they don't have the money to fix this damage due to their negligence and even if they did I'd still be responsible for up to half according to the associations laws. They also don't have liability insurance to cover this damage.
I've been advised I should file for bankruptcy and hand the keys over to the bank. I don't have the money or any way of getting it and I can't continue to live in a toxic black mold infested home. I don't make much and it took me a lot of effort to save enough to buy my own place and I'm devastated that I may have to start all over.
To add insult to injury this Friday my car broke down and my mechanic told me its time to junk it and get a new one. Something else I don't have the money for. I have a feeling I'll be living in a tent and riding a bicycle in the near future
I keep telling myself all of this would only be 50 times worse if I drank. And it would but hell. My nerves are frayed and I don't know how much more of this I can take. My opportunistic AV is sniffing around.
I'm close to celebrating 3 years of sobriety from alcohol. The most challenging has been learning to cope with stress and anxiety because I used to just drown myself in alcohol to escape.
Lately I'm finding it very difficult and feel like I'm close to cracking. All the yoga, running , meditation and deep breaths is barely keeping me sane so I thought I'd talk about it on here preemptively and vent.
I bought a condo last year, my very first home purchase. It has since become the condo from hell. A couple of months after I moved in I got two very bad leaks coming in one of my bedrooms and living room. After pleading with the condo association to fix the leaks for over six months (they kept saying they didn't have the money but would get on it as soon as they did) I began to fear for my health and my pets health so I hired a contractor to cut into the walls. He found lots of mold. We had it tested and its toxic black mold.
After threatening a lawsuit the association finally agreed to fix the leaks. That still leaves me with a quote of over $50,000 of interior damage and mold removal. Entire walls and ceilings need to be torn out and replaced, mold removed. The association of course is saying they don't have the money to fix this damage due to their negligence and even if they did I'd still be responsible for up to half according to the associations laws. They also don't have liability insurance to cover this damage.
I've been advised I should file for bankruptcy and hand the keys over to the bank. I don't have the money or any way of getting it and I can't continue to live in a toxic black mold infested home. I don't make much and it took me a lot of effort to save enough to buy my own place and I'm devastated that I may have to start all over.
To add insult to injury this Friday my car broke down and my mechanic told me its time to junk it and get a new one. Something else I don't have the money for. I have a feeling I'll be living in a tent and riding a bicycle in the near future
I keep telling myself all of this would only be 50 times worse if I drank. And it would but hell. My nerves are frayed and I don't know how much more of this I can take. My opportunistic AV is sniffing around.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Hampshire UK
Posts: 162
Coping With Stress
Hi - and thanks for sharing this. Drinking alcohol has always been a release for me during times of stress. But we all know that this short term release from our feelings is never worth the longer term mental anguish that alcohol abuse can cause. Not all of us get this right all of the time - but recognising the fact that alcohol is not really your friend in difficult times is a good place to start. Good luck to you.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Three years of recovery is awesome!
I'm really sorry about the situation with the condo. In Canada, it's mandatory for a Condo Association to have a Reserve Fund, which could be used to pay for the cost of your repairs. Is there something like that where you are? Have you talked to a lawyer to see if there is any legal way you can pursue this?
I'm really sorry about the situation with the condo. In Canada, it's mandatory for a Condo Association to have a Reserve Fund, which could be used to pay for the cost of your repairs. Is there something like that where you are? Have you talked to a lawyer to see if there is any legal way you can pursue this?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
Hey hawk,
Your right that none of this would get any better if you were drinking. My heart goes out to you my friend.
I agree with Anna. I would get a consultation with a lawyer. I don't know what country your in but I do believe you would have a case against the condo association, the seller, or the insurance company. Especially if the leak was caused by a tenant above you.
Really hope you get through this.
Your right that none of this would get any better if you were drinking. My heart goes out to you my friend.
I agree with Anna. I would get a consultation with a lawyer. I don't know what country your in but I do believe you would have a case against the condo association, the seller, or the insurance company. Especially if the leak was caused by a tenant above you.
Really hope you get through this.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I'm sorry for your troubles. I understand how difficult this is.
We lost 1,200 square feet of our home in a 15 minute flood. A lot of amazing things happened that made it a remarkable time for me. People came out of the woodwork to help out. The first bid was 50K. In the end I hired someone instead of a company and the cost was more like 10k.
Plan on it taking a lot of time to get all the repair work done. Although a contractor would have been faster, with an independent person it took about 9 mos. We are still dealing with a few clean up items that we didn't quite get done (hauling some trash away). You have a difficult time ahead of you and I hope you will post frequently about all your irritations and stress.
Unfortunately, after quite some time sober, I chose to drink the first night of the flood. It made every thing worse. It is part of what made it take so much time to organize the repair. It also brought all the same old problems with work, health, relationship ... all on top of the flood
I hope you will do what ever you need to do to maintain your sobriety through this. It is a huge deal. I don't think it is at all unusual that you would think about drinking at this time. So let SR support you through this sober
We lost 1,200 square feet of our home in a 15 minute flood. A lot of amazing things happened that made it a remarkable time for me. People came out of the woodwork to help out. The first bid was 50K. In the end I hired someone instead of a company and the cost was more like 10k.
Plan on it taking a lot of time to get all the repair work done. Although a contractor would have been faster, with an independent person it took about 9 mos. We are still dealing with a few clean up items that we didn't quite get done (hauling some trash away). You have a difficult time ahead of you and I hope you will post frequently about all your irritations and stress.
Unfortunately, after quite some time sober, I chose to drink the first night of the flood. It made every thing worse. It is part of what made it take so much time to organize the repair. It also brought all the same old problems with work, health, relationship ... all on top of the flood
I hope you will do what ever you need to do to maintain your sobriety through this. It is a huge deal. I don't think it is at all unusual that you would think about drinking at this time. So let SR support you through this sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 524
Thank you everyone. It always helps just to talk about it rather than stew on it by myself. Anna, they do have a reserve of which they're dipping in to fix the source of the leaks. Apparently its a complicated architectural defect thats causing the leaks and expensive to repair.
Matt, I feel like a lawyer consultation is where I'm at now sadly. Even if only to get advice on bankruptcy options.
Ananda I'm so sorry to hear about your ordeal! 1200 ft of damage in 15 mins puts things into perspective. I suppose I could look into other ways to slowly fix the walls but the hurdle will be getting the mold removed by a professional first.. any way a new direction to think about so thank you.
I feel like I'm in deep water with only my head bobbing up for air. Drinking now surely would drown me. Must not drink!
Matt, I feel like a lawyer consultation is where I'm at now sadly. Even if only to get advice on bankruptcy options.
Ananda I'm so sorry to hear about your ordeal! 1200 ft of damage in 15 mins puts things into perspective. I suppose I could look into other ways to slowly fix the walls but the hurdle will be getting the mold removed by a professional first.. any way a new direction to think about so thank you.
I feel like I'm in deep water with only my head bobbing up for air. Drinking now surely would drown me. Must not drink!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm sorry you're having to deal with all this Hawk. I think support is very important at times like this so please do use this community as much as you need to.
I think consulting with a lawyer would be a good thing to so?
D
I think consulting with a lawyer would be a good thing to so?
D
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