My son has changed my life, but not his fathers.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 3
My son has changed my life, but not his fathers.
Hi,
I became sober 16 months ago when I found out i was pregnant, I'm 26 and had been drinking so heavily for 9 years straight.
My 7 month old son is my main focus on why I will remain sober to raise him with all the love I can now give him, but the father of my son also is a heavy drinker will easily drink 10+ drinks a night.
He drinks in front of me every night, and on weekends will start drinking 9-10am he believes because he works he is entitled.
if I wanted to I could have chosen to have kept drinking threw my pregnancy but I am not a monster, he does not believe i had a choice, where as he does and he chose to not acknowledge his problem. I feel as if he has no respect for me, it frightens myself when he is around our son holding him, kissing him on the face all the time when I can smell the alcohol on him so strong.
after he has left in the morning, i wake with my son to bring him down to the lounge room to play on his mat, but first I must walk around and collect the empty bottles he has left on the floor, it is a constant flash back reminder of what i was like and it sickens me to my stomach.
I have a overbearing thought and worry about the way my boy is going to grow up in this world with two parents who drank so heavily, that is why I decided it was enough before he was born.
I am trying so hard every single day, but then when the nights fall, i walk down stairs from my bedroom after I have feed and put my baby to sleep to check the back door is locked, Turn the TV off, and take the beer out of my partners hand as he is passed out on the couch.
I honestly believed people changed for their children, but sadly not.
It's just so selfish and it makes me so sad for my son.
I was a horrible drinker, I am not afraid to ever admit it. I have come to terms with what I have done and who I have hurt.
I love my son unconditionally, his the love of my life.
If anyone out their has any similar stories or advice it would be amazingly appreciated from the bottom of my heart,
Thankyou very much.
I became sober 16 months ago when I found out i was pregnant, I'm 26 and had been drinking so heavily for 9 years straight.
My 7 month old son is my main focus on why I will remain sober to raise him with all the love I can now give him, but the father of my son also is a heavy drinker will easily drink 10+ drinks a night.
He drinks in front of me every night, and on weekends will start drinking 9-10am he believes because he works he is entitled.
if I wanted to I could have chosen to have kept drinking threw my pregnancy but I am not a monster, he does not believe i had a choice, where as he does and he chose to not acknowledge his problem. I feel as if he has no respect for me, it frightens myself when he is around our son holding him, kissing him on the face all the time when I can smell the alcohol on him so strong.
after he has left in the morning, i wake with my son to bring him down to the lounge room to play on his mat, but first I must walk around and collect the empty bottles he has left on the floor, it is a constant flash back reminder of what i was like and it sickens me to my stomach.
I have a overbearing thought and worry about the way my boy is going to grow up in this world with two parents who drank so heavily, that is why I decided it was enough before he was born.
I am trying so hard every single day, but then when the nights fall, i walk down stairs from my bedroom after I have feed and put my baby to sleep to check the back door is locked, Turn the TV off, and take the beer out of my partners hand as he is passed out on the couch.
I honestly believed people changed for their children, but sadly not.
It's just so selfish and it makes me so sad for my son.
I was a horrible drinker, I am not afraid to ever admit it. I have come to terms with what I have done and who I have hurt.
I love my son unconditionally, his the love of my life.
If anyone out their has any similar stories or advice it would be amazingly appreciated from the bottom of my heart,
Thankyou very much.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hi, TMia, welcome to SR. You will find lots of support here.
It is super that you gave up the drink before your son was born. That is absolutely the best and smartest thing you could have done.
I don't have advice with regard to your drinking partner. As you likely know, the only way he will change is if he wants to.
Doesn't sound like he wants to.
I hope you have support? Friends, family?
Al-Anon meetings can be a great source of support. It is a fellowship of people who are troubled by a loved one's drinking. There are meetings everywhere and at different times of day. Some have babysitting. Google Al-Anon meetings in your area.
Good luck. Keep. Coming back.
It is super that you gave up the drink before your son was born. That is absolutely the best and smartest thing you could have done.
I don't have advice with regard to your drinking partner. As you likely know, the only way he will change is if he wants to.
Doesn't sound like he wants to.
I hope you have support? Friends, family?
Al-Anon meetings can be a great source of support. It is a fellowship of people who are troubled by a loved one's drinking. There are meetings everywhere and at different times of day. Some have babysitting. Google Al-Anon meetings in your area.
Good luck. Keep. Coming back.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,559
TMia, Welcome, and I'm so glad that you stopped drinking through your pregnancy and the birth of your baby. You are doing the right thing and your son deserves the best. I'm sorry your partner is not onboard with recovery. All you can do is continue to do the right thing for your child and yourself. At some point, you may have to decide that the environment in which you are living is not good for your baby. Being a mother is a very hard job and be proud of yourself that you are doing your best. Happy Mother's Day!
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