SoberInStAlbans

Do you have anyone that can support you and remind you of this resolution? Do others know about this struggle of yours? Without a "pit crew" you may just keep driving in circles. Just a thought. Sending all the positive vibes your way. I am new to this too and without a recent "rock-bottom" coupled with the support of family I would be in serious trouble right now.

SoberLeigh

How are things going, Stewy?

gregknight

A little prayer for you, Stewy, from me. Don't dwell on the mistakes of the past, just learn from them. Day at a time.

CreativeThinker

Oops...I didn't see this before I sent another post.

Stewy...?

Delilah1

Hi Stewey,

How are you doing?

Stewy84

Not really very good today. Addiction completely taken over.

I've got it in my mind to make tomorrow the first sober day but I'm not going to announce anything because I'm basically deceiving everyone here and I don't want to do that

The pain of breaking up with my girlfriend has reduced. We have been talking a lot- not with any expectations but just talking. So I no longer have that as an "excuse" to drink.

Every other bit of life is good- I have lovely family, daughter, nephew and I've got my job. I'm so grateful for all of that. Just need to address these addiction problems

Anyway, I'm ok, as I've said there's no point in making any announcements those who've followed me know I've had more day 1 than hot dinners recently.

I've got lots of info to reference on here and advice I can look back on from previous posts so I'm going to do that.

In no way do I think I can manage drinking in a normal way, I'm overweight and unfit too. I've got to dig deep now

CreativeThinker

I guess what it all boils down to Stewy is you wanting to change your life more than anything else. Nobody can do it for you...dig deeper buddy! JFDI!

ScottFromWI

These statements that you just wrote cannot coexist Stewy. If you let your addiction continue to have control things will not be OK. You will eventually lose all those "good" things too. Your latest binge has been almost 2 months now....do you discuss that with your ex? How does your daughter feel about you getting drunk every day ?

Denial is a very powerful thing to overcome, I hope you can do so before it's too late.

2muchpain

Right now, your drinking seems to be more important than your family. You have more going for you than many people, yet your willing to gamble losing it. IDK, maybe you keep drinking cause you still have all that you have. Sounds like you haven't lost much and feel no matter what it will always be there. Many people had a lot going for them and were so arrogant that they felt it would never end. There's people living under a bridge or living in a shelter that had it all but lost it. Eventually all you will have left is your beer. Very sad. John

2muchpain

Frankly, I think you see your drinking as an annoyance more than a real problem. If I'm right, I can see why you wouldn't consider AA, SMART recovery, therapy, CBT, etc. Makes sense. John

tomsteve

stewy, reading your posts and how you seem to want recovery on your terms has one name and one song of hers that comes into my head:
Amy Winehouse.
i think you know the song.

then theres those that have gone to rehab:
ozzy
joe walsch
anthony kiedis
johnny cash
ray charles
david bowie
eminem

just a few musicians of a very long list that dropped practice and gigs to get clean and sober- put everything aside and chose life.

Stewy84

I don't know what it is anymore.....

I just spoke to my friend, he says just drink socially but not when you are on your own

He said don't be too hard on yourself because he knows I am

Haven't a clue. When I was sober it was good but also different in that I just got hooked on junk food and didn't recover properly from addiction

MeSoSober

Yeah, I considered that once. Speaking for myself, if I drank socially and got the "buzz" started, there is no WAY that I wouldn't stop for more booze on the way home, where I would continue the "party" in private. And lately the "party" doesn't end when the evening does but often continues into the next day and maybe the next and maybe even the one after that. With catastrophic consequences.

Never again is the only answer for me. I haven't successfully put that into practice yet, but I can no longer deny that that's the way it has to be.

sobersolstice

I don't know Stewy. I'm in a similar scenario, but I've lost my wife, friends, had a DUI, life altering brain trauma from falling off of my bike drunk because my license was revoked, and really no family with a dying Mom.

Those are not reasons why I keep drinking. It's a bit like I give up and become apathetic. I'm losing my health though, which is why I need to stop. If I want to find a gf/wife, get out of bankruptcy, grow my business, and feel good about myself, I need to stop.

ScottFromWI

That's the thing stewy...you know exactly "what it is". You also know without a shadow of a doubt that "drinking socially" is not possible for you. You are simply looking for excuses to keep drinking, and your "friend" is another example.

Can you not see the absurdity of coming here and suggesting this? If you are still not ready to accept what needs to be done that's your choice. But don't play us for fools in the process - we want to help but we can't if you keep this up. We know it is your AV talking....why not start listening to those who have been there and see what's happening to you?

sobersolstice

Hey Stewy,

Do you want to take today off with me? I've yet to have a drink, and am taking my friend out for drinks for his BD, and hitting the bars, but I can choose not to drink. I'll just drive and be the designated driver.

I'm not suggesting that you do anything similar... it's just a choice. I 'choose' not to drink a lot, but addiction is a son-of-a-gun.

Soda and junk food for the day. Are you in?

Stewy84

It's bed time here but yes, I'm in for that

I'm honestly an absolute utter joke . Stuck being hooked on booze and junk food wasting my life away it's pathetic

ScottFromWI

You hold the key to getting unstuck. You just have to decide when to use it.

Anna

Stewy, it makes me so very sad to read this.

Really...you think alcohol is not a problem for you?

CreativeThinker

I think you know what you need to do Stewy...you're a smart guy...JFDI!