NEw Day I hope
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: mays landing nj
Posts: 168
NEw Day I hope
Had a really rough last year or so. Last year I found texts my husband had with a women at work and he tells me it was nothing but for some reason I just can't seem to let it go. I think because it surprised me so as I never would have expected it. It stopped for a long time and recently I see it again. And every time it makes me upset even though the texts now seem innocent enough. I think what I am feeling is that he knows how this makes me uncomfortable but it continues. Anyway that is just a portion of how the year has been. I've decided today to get a real handle on how much I drink as I think I have been using it to self medicate and try to kill my feelings. Made the mistake the other night of drinking too much and don't remember what I said to him. I don't think it was good and I always pride myself on not hurting anyone. I feel I have the right to be upset but that doesn't give me the right to say hurtful things (even if I can't remember what they were). Thank you listening. I found this forum long ago when I was dealing with my father's drinking and in some ways I think I may be starting to behave like him so I want to turn this around. So starting today I want to work on myself maybe I am waiting for someone else to make me happy and I can see that doesn't seem to work.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Out in the Stix of Southern Indiana
Posts: 2,784
Welcome! You have come to the right place!I just keep posting and reading and I check in at the 24 hour thread every morning to kinda remind me who I am and that II can't drink! Best wishes on your journey!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome to this side of the forum jacksdaughter 
I had a lot of resentments I couldn't let go of either, but the first step to letting go was to put the bottle down.
Letting go is not saying that what someone else did was right - it's just so that we can move on - and you can't do that with your hands around someone else's throat.
there's a lot of support in these forums - good to have you with us
D
I had a lot of resentments I couldn't let go of either, but the first step to letting go was to put the bottle down.
Letting go is not saying that what someone else did was right - it's just so that we can move on - and you can't do that with your hands around someone else's throat.
there's a lot of support in these forums - good to have you with us
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
I have noticed that in some situations, I have a right to be angry, but if I get drunk to allow my anger release, my message is diminished and brushed off.
When you are sober, and upset about something, you choose your words well, & the other cannot dismiss your feelings as a drunken rant.
Being loaded makes you less powerful, less sure, and worse, less heard!
The conversation you know you need to have requires all your attention! It is important! Your feelings are important! Try it again sober, and if you still feel dismissed, you will be more clear about what to do next!
I have lost so much truth & power by being drunk for the courage to speak!
My wish for you is that you present your feelings clearly, and then are clear as you see how they are received & responded to!
When you are sober, and upset about something, you choose your words well, & the other cannot dismiss your feelings as a drunken rant.
Being loaded makes you less powerful, less sure, and worse, less heard!
The conversation you know you need to have requires all your attention! It is important! Your feelings are important! Try it again sober, and if you still feel dismissed, you will be more clear about what to do next!
I have lost so much truth & power by being drunk for the courage to speak!
My wish for you is that you present your feelings clearly, and then are clear as you see how they are received & responded to!
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