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Old 04-27-2017, 02:25 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Still climbing out of this hole


So today is day 6. I won't go into detail about the incidents which led to me buying a bottle of wine as it will seem I'm making excuses. I've made an appointment with one of the only gps in my city that specialises in alcohol addiction. Unfortunately the appointment is a month away. Day 1 tomorrow
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Old 04-27-2017, 03:13 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Until something happened to scared me straight, I couldn't stop as well.

Keep trying. Eat when you crave.
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When I crave I think of the next day after effects:

high blood pressure, sleep issues, strength loss, immune system compromise (sick).

BpSSS. My mantra.

Studied "alcohol kindling" and "alcohol PAWS."

Last intoxication: 8 May 15.
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Old 04-27-2017, 03:17 AM   #3 (permalink)
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It's not how many times you get knocked down that count, it's how many times you get back up.


You can do this. :-)
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Old 04-27-2017, 03:22 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Glad you decided to post! It's never too late to turn things around. You can do this, everyone's here for you!
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Old 04-27-2017, 03:52 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi SoberNunn - you're making moves in the right direction, which is what is so important!! Really glad to see you're being honest and seeking help. That point took me a long time to get to
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Old 04-27-2017, 04:14 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Old 04-27-2017, 04:27 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Hi SN

I hope you haven;t given up hope. See a professional is one thing but there's no reason at all why you can;t be almost a month sober when you seem them.

Change really is possible....for anyone and everyone.

We actually really do want to hear why you bought the wine - we actually want to hear before you buy the darn thing so we can talk you out of it

You'll get back every ounce of effort you put into your recovery - I promise

D
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Old 04-27-2017, 04:54 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Relapse is in the game. Just remember to keep the focus, as you oviously do by writing your post in the first place. You'll make it!!!

Take care
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Old 04-27-2017, 05:10 AM   #9 (permalink)
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What Dee said!

And, relapse does not have to be part of the game, IMO. You can make THIS your last time- I hope you take this chance you have been given.

What are you going to do between now and that meeting?

You can do this.
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Quote:
"Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." - Alice in Wonderland
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Old 04-27-2017, 05:11 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Hi SN, do you know what one of the hardest things to do is once you become fully accepting and are active in recovery and sobriety and frequent this board? To try to accurately describe what life is like once you pass over the big, beginning hurdles of quitting. There are truly no words that can accurately convey.

I've said before if I could have a superpower I'd give someone the gift of being able to experience their life for one day after those beginning hurdles are cleared. If that could be done the resolve to not pick up would increase exponentially.

But, that's just a dream. I can only sit here and share with you that I was once where you are right now. Resolving to quit and then before I knew it, the evening would come and there I would be, with my beer and my thought pattern of just one more, just one more. Tomorrow I'll quit. This is too hard. I know I shouldn't drink but.........(insert whatever reason I could come up with).

There is a good life waiting for you. One that you never imagined possible. One, where when you get the chance to experience, you'll understand what a big fat lie alcohol is. How it kept you in it's clutches all that time, and if only you knew what was waiting for you without it.

I know it's hard, I know, I truly do. But, there's going to come a point where if you truly want to experience what I'm talking about, you have to accept that those beginning hurdles aren't going to be easy. You're going to find a way to power through them. Urge surfing and following through with a plan. Coming here and posting when you're thinking of picking up rather than posting after. I'm glad that you still at least do that but if you don't put your foot down and say enough is enough then the first day postings are going to continue.

When you get to that point where you're going to pick up stop yourself and don't allow it. Say to yourself you're not going to drink, but just for today. You're only dealing with right now and today. Don't think about tomorrow, next week, or even a year from now.

Today, that's all it begins with. I think you can power through and manage that, do you? What can you do the next time you get to where you were last night?

Plan now and stick to it, you CAN do this! I absolutely promise you there is a life out there waiting for you that's so good you can't even begin to imagine it. But, you gotta get through the tough part first.

It's worth it!!!!!

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Sometimes easier said than done, but the happiest and most content I am in sobriety is when I'm fully accepting of the fact that there is no circumstance under which I can drink (or smoke a cigarette!).
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Old 04-27-2017, 07:30 AM   #11 (permalink)
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LadyBlue - that was beautifully written, and so true.
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Old 04-27-2017, 08:07 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Lots of good advice here already SoberNunn. I'm wondering if perhaps you have tried online AA meetings or chat meetings. Since you have difficulties leaving home, maybe that might be a good option? You might want to consider joining a monthly thread here or putting a specific time in your calendar each and every day to spend time on recovery. Structure was very important to me early on because if I got "bored" or just waited around for something to happen, I would generally drink as I had no other plans. Maybe you could start writing down a daily schedule?
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Old 04-27-2017, 09:29 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527 View Post
Hi SN, do you know what one of the hardest things to do is once you become fully accepting and are active in recovery and sobriety and frequent this board? To try to accurately describe what life is like once you pass over the big, beginning hurdles of quitting. There are truly no words that can accurately convey.

I've said before if I could have a superpower I'd give someone the gift of being able to experience their life for one day after those beginning hurdles are cleared. If that could be done the resolve to not pick up would increase exponentially.

But, that's just a dream. I can only sit here and share with you that I was once where you are right now. Resolving to quit and then before I knew it, the evening would come and there I would be, with my beer and my thought pattern of just one more, just one more. Tomorrow I'll quit. This is too hard. I know I shouldn't drink but.........(insert whatever reason I could come up with).

There is a good life waiting for you. One that you never imagined possible. One, where when you get the chance to experience, you'll understand what a big fat lie alcohol is. How it kept you in it's clutches all that time, and if only you knew what was waiting for you without it.

I know it's hard, I know, I truly do. But, there's going to come a point where if you truly want to experience what I'm talking about, you have to accept that those beginning hurdles aren't going to be easy. You're going to find a way to power through them. Urge surfing and following through with a plan. Coming here and posting when you're thinking of picking up rather than posting after. I'm glad that you still at least do that but if you don't put your foot down and say enough is enough then the first day postings are going to continue.

When you get to that point where you're going to pick up stop yourself and don't allow it. Say to yourself you're not going to drink, but just for today. You're only dealing with right now and today. Don't think about tomorrow, next week, or even a year from now.

Today, that's all it begins with. I think you can power through and manage that, do you? What can you do the next time you get to where you were last night?

Plan now and stick to it, you CAN do this! I absolutely promise you there is a life out there waiting for you that's so good you can't even begin to imagine it. But, you gotta get through the tough part first.

It's worth it!!!!!

^^^^^this is so true, I thought its worthwhile to read it again.
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Old 04-27-2017, 10:50 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Hows it going SN?
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To accept the things I cannot change;
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