Hi SN, do you know what one of the hardest things to do is once you become fully accepting and are active in recovery and sobriety and frequent this board? To try to accurately describe what life is like once you pass over the big, beginning hurdles of quitting. There are truly no words that can accurately convey.
I've said before if I could have a superpower I'd give someone the gift of being able to experience their life for one day after those beginning hurdles are cleared. If that could be done the resolve to not pick up would increase exponentially.
But, that's just a dream. I can only sit here and share with you that I was once where you are right now. Resolving to quit and then before I knew it, the evening would come and there I would be, with my beer and my thought pattern of just one more, just one more. Tomorrow I'll quit. This is too hard. I know I shouldn't drink but.........(insert whatever reason I could come up with).
There is a good life waiting for you. One that you never imagined possible. One, where when you get the chance to experience, you'll understand what a big fat lie alcohol is. How it kept you in it's clutches all that time, and if only you knew what was waiting for you without it.
I know it's hard, I know, I truly do. But, there's going to come a point where if you truly want to experience what I'm talking about, you have to accept that those beginning hurdles aren't going to be easy. You're going to find a way to power through them. Urge surfing and following through with a plan. Coming here and posting when you're thinking of picking up rather than posting after. I'm glad that you still at least do that but if you don't put your foot down and say enough is enough then the first day postings are going to continue.
When you get to that point where you're going to pick up stop yourself and don't allow it. Say to yourself you're not going to drink, but just for today. You're only dealing with right now and today. Don't think about tomorrow, next week, or even a year from now.
Today, that's all it begins with. I think you can power through and manage that, do you? What can you do the next time you get to where you were last night?
Plan now and stick to it, you CAN do this! I absolutely promise you there is a life out there waiting for you that's so good you can't even begin to imagine it. But, you gotta get through the tough part first.
It's worth it!!!!!
