soberandhonest

Sending support to you Juk. I hope that you take a moment and listen to others. Seems to me that there is no way to know what the 'cause' of this, but it very easily could have had nothing to do with you. Additionally, the abnormality, if any treatment is needed at all, can usually be easily treated. Relax, man, just support your wife for now.

Berrybean

JUK, there are lots of reasons for results being classed as abnormal. I can understand how your fears are rattling you at the moment.

Can I just implore you to not do anything stupid at the moment that would hurt your family. By which I mean hurting yourself in any way (call Samaritans for a chat if you start to feel desperate), and also DO NOT disclose your infidelities to your wife. This is not something she needs to hear right now, or perhaps ever. If you want to make amends to your wife, the best way to do that is try to find ways to make her feel loved and cared for, some TLC, a treat, a cuddle.... sure, you might feel like poop, but that's kinda by the by at the moment. Also, quietly making the appointment to get yourself checked out would be a good idea. Maybe it will show something and maybe not. There is only one way to know. And that might be embarrassing and scary, but not as scary as not knowing will continue to be.

Have you considered going to AA meetings? Getting a sponsor and working through all my past harms, and my fears and resentments really helped me to move on more positively so that I could stop bringing the poison of my past with me to contaminate my future. Someone told me once, we're only as sick as our secrets. You have in a way started to take the lid off your Pandora box through your honesty on this thread. I know it seems that lots of people have read and not responded, but that's just the nature of the forum. It's the same ratio on most threads. Lots of people read but don't post. In the day I read on my phone but don't often post back because it takes ages. It's not all a reflection on us, and what we did. We're not the main picture of the tapestry, just a fibre in one of the threads. Same as with your wife's abnormal cells, you are just a small part of the picture. There are ladies who don't have sex ever who still get abnormal cells.

Breathe. Maybe go for a run and find somewhere quiet to have a cry and some prayer. Get to a meeting if you can. Speak to the Samaritans if you start getting overwhelmed. Tell your wife how much you love her and that you will be sober and there to support her - and mean it. You can do this. Not necessarily easily, but you can do it.

BB

Shitzupuppy

I'm confused. I thought an abnormal pap had to do with cervical cancer not std? How is that about you?

go support your wife. Get SOBER

Sasha4

Assigning blame helps no-one.

This is the first thing my family do when something goes wrong.
Who is responsible? Who is to blame? Who needs shouting at and made to feel like crap?

I have had years of therapy to try and understand why they respond in the way they do/did.

My therapist said it was due to them not being able to cope in stressful situations. They did not have the skills. I had to work at not being angry at them as it was the only way they knew how to respond.

I had the same cells.
After 6 monthly tests the cells went back to normal.
Like me your wife is now in the system with the NHS and they will monitor her situation carefully.

Drinking will not change the situation.
Be remembered for being supportive and strong in this situation. Not for being a selfish drunk, who made it all about himself.

I wish you the best

Nonsensical

It seems overwhelmingly unlikely your wife and sons would agree with this if you asked them.

That leaves the much more likely alternative - you have some serious emotional issues and you need professional help to sort them out. Do the right thing by your family and go get some.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.