kenton

So I was feeling really positive and upbeat today; singing along to songs on the radio, laughing with colleagues at work, making sober plans for the weekend... everything was going really good. Then BAM, out of the blue I bump into a person from my past. Someone from a really dark time. Someone who treated me badly and who I had to completely cut out of my life. And as soon as I look at this person I'm straight back there; back to the self doubt and misery. And of course this person is with loads of other people and I'm on my own. And of course this person looks down at me with arrogance and contempt whilst I just look flustered and ill at ease. And of course this person laughs when I turn to walk away and trip over my own feet. And all of a sudden I want to drink.

I want to drink because I'm embarrassed about tripping over but I really want to drink because I feel so angry. I'm angry that this person treated me like they did but can stand there looking so smug with not a single ounce of remorse. Then I think about something else. This person doesn't know how far I've come. This person doesn't know I've been sober for almost 6 months. This person doesn't know about my optimism, my new interests; my sober plans for the future. This person may occasionally venture into my present but the only place they really belong is my past.

By drinking, I'd only be bringing this person back into my life. I'd get drunk and my mind would replay all the bad times, over and over again. I deserve better than that. I've worked too hard to go back to all that.

So I'm glad I bumped into this person today. It showed me how strong I've become. I wanted to drink, I thought about drinking but I didn't drink. And now the craving has passed and I can get back to being happy. And when I think about it, the whole tripping over my feet thing was actually pretty funny! Sure beats falling down drunk.

PippoRossi

Wow, that's just amazing! Way to play the tape, kenton!!! I, myself, am just starting to learn all about my triggers. I had an interaction on SR that triggered something in me. I have since blocked that person so that I don't have to interact with them.

SteveAlex

Way to go! You handled that very well! Thank you for sharing.

SoberLeigh

Well done, Kenton; very well done.

Nowsthetime

Flexing sober muscles at 6 mo.

Awesome!

Keep doing the work.

I loved your post. I won't let alcohol and all it brings, back into my life.

Thanks.

Ina123

Thanks for sharing your story! I have a birthday party I have to attend this weekend, where I suspect I may run into one or more such people. I will remember your story and lead by example

PhoenixJ

Caramel

Excellent perspective - thanks for that, kenton. I'll remember for my own future use.

CreativeThinker

Good for you Kenton

dwtbd

good for you, have a great weekend!

least

Glad you could think it through and stay sober. And congrats on nearly six months!

Breighz

Thank you for giving me a tool for my toolbox on day 10!

redfalcon

Awesome work!!

August252015

GREAT story! Thanks for sharing and way to go. You definitely came out the big time winner in this scenario