FreeOwl

You've struggled.

You've genuinely wanted.

You've sought, you've tried, you've failed, you've tried again....

Over and over you feel like you've woken to that despairing feeling "oh no.... not again".

Bleary-eyed, with a pounding head, your last memory sometime around the end of the prior day, you've stumbled for water, you've gone to vomit, you've shaken and trembled and felt worthless.

You've found yourself driving on auto-pilot to the liquor store, even while shouting at yourself "NO!!! DON'T DO THIS!!!"..... wondering "am I actually insane?"

You've resolved THIS TIME for sure. THIS TIME you'll quit.

Then you've gone to the bar because someone called to invite you out.

Or you've stopped at a gas station and bought a six pack and now you're headed to a party.

Or you've thought "Just one" and chugged back a two dollar drugstore bottle of wine..... then gone back for vodka.

I know.

I've done all those things.

I know.

I've struggled and I've tried and I've felt it was hopeless and I've suffered in silence and I've felt like a truly worthless failure.

But now I'm sober. For over three years. Now I don't do those things anymore. Now I am gratefully free of alcohol and all of those godawful experiences.

Because I kept at it. Because I kept choosing to get free. Because I finally found my pathway out of that darkness.

And - you can, too.

I know how hard it is to believe that.

But you can.

Funtimefranky

Congratulations on three years! Amazing stuff and inspiring words. Brought tears to my eyes.

PhoenixJ

good post, thanks

PippoRossi

Awesome!

saoutchik

That is such an inspiring post FreeOwl.

The worst time in my life was when I wanted to quit but couldn't stop myself from drinking. Persistance perseverance are worth it.

SoberLeigh

Fantastic post, Free Owl.

I'll reiterate - Yes, YOU can.

MissOverIt

Thank you. I needed this today.

KM0816

Seriously, thank you. Today is my Day 1 again. I needed to read this. This is such a lonely illness. It sucks to feel like even you are fighting yourself. It helps so much to know others are going through the same things. Thank you.

Dee74

Thanks Free Owl - great share

D

Zufrieden

Thanks FreeOwl. I too needed this.
I am the struggling soul that you describe but I am not where you are. I am approaching two years since I first found this site. Those two years included many months in a row of sobriety last year and countless missteps. I'm currently not doing well but your post takes away a bit of the guilt and replaces it with a sober look at the reality and struggle of this malady.
I haven't been on this site for a few months because there was no point. I made a conscious decision to not be too bothered by my drinking. I logged on tonight and scrolled through to your post. It is what I needed right now.
Thank you and take care.
Jonathan

Dee74

I hope you'll start posting regularly again Jonathan - why waste any more days of your life?

D

Outonthetiles

Love these posts!

FreeOwl

Hey Jonathan.....

things like that don't just happen by coincidence.

Keep at it. YOU CAN.

soberandhonest

Fantasically awesome post FreeOwl. Thanks!

Delizadee

Great Post, Free Owl, I always enjoy your posts.