Calicofish

I love lists and so I thought I'd make one about the lies my addictive voice (AV) told me:

- you've worked so hard, you deserve a drink
- people are mean, so I need a drink
- you've been sober for (insert time frame) you can handle it now
- what will people think if you don't drink
- you can quit anytime
- everybody drinks
- you don't get as drunk as so and so
- my dog died - let's remember her with a drink
- a drink will help me sleep
- you are much more fun when you drink
- it's my birthday
- it's a holiday
- it's the weekend
- the big game is on
- it's a celebration
- you can quit tomorrow

I don't listen to my addictive voice anymore. It is on mute.

january161992

thanks calico

U75

Here's a good one: "Beer is a great recovery drink after a long bike ride!"

freshstart57

My AV added a few dandies:
*You can't quit drinking, who are you kidding. And if you could, you certainly can't do it know.
*It's genetic, look at your family. No wonder you drink!
*You have an incurable disease, and you are going to relapse over and over. Better to just keep drinking and save all that anguish.
*You will never do this on your own.
*You will always be an alcoholic, always in danger of 'falling off the wagon'.
*You are a worthless POS and a fraud. There is really nothing left for you but drinking to blackout. How about now?

All of these were scams to keep me drinking. By identifying them as AV, I could dismiss them. And choose to be sober for good.

Algorithm

AV:We might reasonably refer to this classic as the AV Möbius strip.

1984Toy

Yes Calicofish, yes to all of the above, for me (was me)

Forward12

The AV will tell you anything and everything to try and trick you to feed it. It is for sure the worst manipulator to ever exist.

Linz805

"Were you really that bad? Maybe you overreacted."

madgirl

Thank you for this post. Very timely. So grateful for this community - you guys articulate the struggle so well.

wildflower70

This was the daily whisper to me....

"You tried sobriety, and your still lonely, why not call your old friend? He is always there for you!"

Old friend=booze

This one got me every time....

Now I say, "You will get nothing beast, and you will like it!"

Beast=Addictive voice

Jack465

I've got one

"Your life sucks, you need a drink to get away from it for a while"

And almost everything I don't like about my life was actually caused by drinking. Ironic, right?

Elicia08

"If no one knows you're drinking, it doesn't count, right?"

Like I could hide it....

Soberwolf

Keep starving that AV daily by feeding your sobriety

graciepearl

But what about the health benefits of wine. You don't want to have a heart attack do you?

MLD51

- You're on vacation away from home and responsibilities - that doesn't count, right?
- How can you have a nice meal in a fancy restaurant without a wine pairing?
- Football without beer? In Wisconsin? Surely, you jest.
- You won't fit in if you don't drink. People will think you're weird.

U75

It makes sense to buy the liter of vodka over the twelve pack of beer. It's more economical, and you'll only have a couple of shots to loosen things up.

Horatio48

"The few hours of unconcerned joy drinking will bring is worth the pain afterwards."

"You only live once."

"Was it ever really that bad?"

"I will go on a 2-3 day binge and then stop."

"Champagne, fine wine, an ice cold crisp beer, single malt, brandy - and all the good things this life has to offer."

"There is no way I will ever believe that sober people have as much fun."

It is a seductive voice, which beckons you at your weakest. I have not been able to resist for any sustained length of time. But I will keep trying.

freshstart57

Horatio, it helped me to understand that these thoughts are a result of becoming addicted to alcohol. Normies don't get them, just us. When I unpacked that thought, it became clear that these thoughts were designed to keep me drinking because my brain believed that it needed alcohol to survive. It had become some sort of bizarro survival drive.

So, to quit drinking, I had to recognize these thoughts and tag them as being drinking thoughts, and thoughts that would destroy me if I let them. This meant I had to separate from them, the same I did when I broke up with an abusive GF. Lots of similarities there for sure.

You can find your way, Horatio. You deserve a sober life, and alcohol has nothing but misery for you. Kick it to the curb and be done, and life will be so much better.

dwtbd

Horatio
You could flip that around. Staying quit becomes a mindgame of sorts. Look at it as being at your strongest when you 'hear' the AV, the lies can be exposed for what they are and dismissed. It's when we don't 'hear' it , when drinking isn't given a second a thought that we are at our weakest, when we 'are' the AV.
Recognize the thoughts as coming from the AV, separate from them and dismiss them.
Hamlet:
And therefore as a stranger give it welcome.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Calicofish

Horatio:

When my AV tries suggests that a drink would be a good choice, I say, "but I do not drink, and I will never change my mind, no matter what. It doesn't matter what the AV tries to give as an excuse. They are lies.

You will never have another Day 1 - EVER. I was so relieved when I knew I'd never face another Day 1.