slangking

Hello. I've been trying to be sober, admittedly half heartedly, for the past three years or so. I'm twenty eight and apart from the one time I was sober for a month (for charity) I haven't gone about more than a week without a drink in the past nine years.

I have cut down in recent times, but still every time I drink I get blackout drunk. Bad things happen. Hospital visits, spending silly money, losing lots of treasured expensive possessions (two bikes, laptop, guitar and countless phones) smoking, snorting and taking every drug under the sun and ruining relationships. I haven't held down a job longer than eleven months, the amount of times I have passed out and not set an alarm would rather a lot.

I suppose my heavy drinking started when I was eighteen, my first two jobs were working in pubs and that got me accustomed to drinking everyday pretty quickly. I've also played in bands for the past ten years so I adhere to the cliche of excessive drinking, basically: booze has played a huge role in my life for the past ten years. What I have always liked about drinking is that rids me of my shyness, I'm a quiet person, but my lifestyle is of one of partying; drink and drugs are everywhere. I don't seem to have the ability to say no to it. There's been times when I'll head out and think "just a few beers, then straight home", then I'm up drinking until seven in the morning smoking heroin and crack and carrying on through the day until the evening, walking the streets, drinking on my own.

These 48 hour benders need to stop. I actually like being sober and feeling clear headed, not frozen with guilt and fear in the morning. I want to abstain for good. I want to feel well and do something with my life instead of rotting away in my mums house.

I've read a few books on stopping drinking (kick the drink by Jason vale and another I've forgotten the name of), even though what they were saying resonated with me I still went back. After i have not drank for about four days I feel I have deserved a drink or I feel I have got my drink problem under control and never seem to learn the lesson.

I would not class myself as an alcoholic as I don't drink everyday and actually enjoy being sober most of the time.

Socialising is what I find hard, quite a few of my mates I have literally never met whilst sober and if I ever tell anyone I have a drink problem no one takes it very serious...but what can you do. Last week I spent three days getting blackout drunk every night, it was my mums 60th and she said I "wouldn't make it to my 60th" if I carried on the way I was going which, was sobering in every sense of the word.

I have recently gone back to college to learn a trade as i cannot get job due to a laughably bad job history and no qualifications. I'm now six days sober and hope to continue this for life. I won't lie, I'm viewing this with trepidation but I can't wait to live a sober life.

Question: I have a drink problem but I'm a non alcoholic, should I go to Alcoholics Anonymous or would I be better of seeing my GP and being referred to something. Any advice is more than welcome. I just wanted to share my thoughts with some people who'd know what I'm going on about. Thanks for being kind enough to read this far!

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, slangking; you have come to a great place for support, understanding and encouragement.

Have a look around the site, giving special attention to the 'Stickies' at the top of each forum (especially Newcomers, Newcomers' Daily support and Alcoholism).

Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic; after reading around the site and elsewhere, you may come to realize that alcoholics come in many shapes in sizes and with greatly varying drinking patterns.

Alcoholic or not, if drinking is causing a problem in your life, exploring a sober life could be a fabulous exercise; many here have found that their sober lives are exponentially better and more rewarding than their drinking lives.

You may just find, as many have, that sobriety truly rocks.

Again welcome!

STDragon

First, congratulations. You show a lot more maturity than I had at your age. Good for you for taking control. It's great that you going back to school.

You don't have to drink every day to have a problem with alcohol. I didn't call myself an alcoholic either because I held down a very successful career and raised a family. The fact that I could not control my addiction was enough to show I had a problem. I just wish that I had come to that realization when I was 28. The realization that I can't ever drink again was a hard thing to accept, but once accepted, freed me.

I don't go to AA, but your going to have to find what works for you.

Maudcat

AA has helped many people. That would be a good first step. Seeing your physician and being upfront about about the amount of alcohol you are consuming is also a good idea. He/she may be able to help. You might also read the informational "stickies"embedded at the top of this site's main menu. Here at SR a new monthly class begins that is specifically for the newly sober and the wanting to be sober. Check it out.
Stopping drinking cold after one has been drinking large amounts for a long time can be dangerous. See your physician, make a plan, and take it a step at a time. It took years for you to get to your current situation. Change won't happen overnight, but it can happen if you want it. Peace.

Ariesagain

Labels don't matter, results do. Alcohol is doing a pretty thorough job of wrecking your life and your future and you're happier sober. Yet you go back to drinking every time. You are at the least psychologically addicted, yes?

You don't have to call yourself an alcoholic. I struggle sometimes with that term as well, in large part because I was a "high bottom" type and the fact that I have been sober now for 400 days doesn't seem like nearly as much of an achievement as some here who have clawed their way back from a far darker place. They are heroes. I'm just lucky in catching on earlier.

But is not giving yourself that label a way of rationalizing drinking again? As long as you even subconsciously have that door even slightly open, you will have the same battle over and over and you will always lose. At some point, the choice will be taken away from you, either by the authorities or by your health being destroyed. Or you will combine the wrong drugs and alcohol and you will die.

Your choice, yes?

HTown

Alcohol is causing you problems. As others said, doesn't matter about the label. Point is, it is a problem. About a year ago, I realized alcohol was a problem. I am so happy. I mean really happier now that I am not drinking. Give it a try, you may be suprised.

ReadyAtLast

Welcome to sr. I don't like labels either. Point is is alcohol causing you problems? Will stopping help? Do you want to stop? Seems all those are yes. Aa will welcomne you. There are many other ways and support methods too. I wish I had stopped drinking so young. Congrats to you for taking steps.

Bird615

"The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking."

Dee74

Some good advice here. Hope you'll stick around slangking - welcome

D

SoberLeigh

How are you today, slangking?

Mentium

The term 'alcoholic' isn't strictly a medical term and in fact the term AUD (alcohol use disorder) tends to be used in medical circles these days. Oddly not a term often seen here on SR. I would like to float the idea that the word 'alcoholic' is one that some people find helpful for themselves to identify with as a tag which helps them acknowledge and address their addiction problem. It is pretty much a requirement for 'admission' to being an AA member, even though it isn't written down anywhere and it isn't a rule of any kind. I can't think of a single person I see at AA who doesn't start their 'share' with the phrase, 'Hi, I'm JohnN/JillN and I'm an alcoholic' (occasionally a 'recovering' alcoholic).

Whatever the label - and the labels don't matter to my way of thinking, people who go to AA, or for that matter people who come here, do so for one reason - their drinking has become problematic and very commonly it has got out of their control.

I go to AA because I suffer from AUD/alcoholism, but I don't black out like you, I don't go on 48 hour benders and the thought of doing so would scare the hell out of me. But I drank every day until I fell asleep and couldn't stop by myself despite trying to many many times and my life was full of fear and anxiety because of the booze. I'm currently at almost three weeks sober and feeling pretty good..

I'm making a bit of a meal out of this post for one main reason. My drinking problem got a hold of me at about your age. I'm 65 now and if I could send a message to the 28 year old me it would be to get the hell on with it and deal with the problem whatever the hell you want to call it while you can because it sure as dammit won't get any easier as you get older and will get a lot worse and it could very well kill you if you don't. It won't go away on its own.

My own recommendation, for what it is worth is to try a few AA meetings, but many other brands are of course available.

slangking

Thanks for the messages people, much appreciated.

I haven't drank alcohol for ten days now. I feel great and hope to stay this way, only problem is I can't sleep very well, get about 3 hours a night.

I have turned down all offers to drink and have my eyes on going to a Smart Recovery meeting, had a busy week but hopefully next week.

Mentium

Great going! The sleeping issue will almost certainly sort itself out. It is very common in the first dew days and weeks. All the best!

Pete6256

Soberleigh pretty much hit the nail on the head here for me. My father was the worst drinker I have ever seen. He drank himself into oblivion everyday of his life and lost his job, his self respect, his family, his home, all his money, everything. He in my mind was unquestionably an 'alcoholic', but because I don't drink every single day, held down a decent job and hadn't displayed the same degree of self destructive behaviour, I didn't consider myself as meeting the standard of what constitutes an 'alcoholic'.

What soberleigh is saying and what I am starting to realise, is that there is no set specific standard for how much you drink or how often to meet the definition of an alcoholic. It's more about the pattern of behaviour drinking promotes and its role as a focal point of your life. I read this which I thought was quite insightful, I would recommend: The 4 Stages of Alcoholism for the Functioning Alcoholic