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Old 01-30-2017, 11:38 PM   #1 (permalink)
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1 month sober, feeling alone but can barely leave my house


Hey guys,
I'm just looking for some advice/support on anxiety of all varieties in early sobriety.
I hit a bottom on New Years, and was hospitalized for withdrawals. I was drinking a liter of vodka and however many tall boys daily. I also did EVERYTHING with a drink, shopping, making art, school, work, doctors visits, biking, etc. Especially socializing. It's what got me out of the house and "made me, and everything else, fun."
So now, I am coming up on one month sober, and I have barely seen any of my friends, haven't been able to go to meetings, skipped appointments. I am paralyzed by anxiety. Most of all social anxiety. I flake out all the time on plans and stay in my apartment.
I don't know how to live happily sober. I don't know how to interact with the world.
Thank you so much
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Old 01-31-2017, 12:32 AM   #2 (permalink)
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You'll find a lot of friends and support here willowbones

I did everythign with a drink too, so I empathise., It;s ok to start small...walking round the block or to the local shop or something work up a little every couple of days..

If your anxiety is too much for even that, it sounds like you might have to see a Dr about this?

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Old 01-31-2017, 12:54 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Although this is an Internet community, it is a vital, dynamic community of fascinating humans all over the world!

I found SR when I was living in a cabin in an isolated region of Alaska. I had never been so lonely.

Now I live in a very active & connective city, but this community is so special, that I returned with gratitude to its wide arms.

We all deserve to have connections. Sometimes we become isolated, especially in early sobriety, regardless of geography. You will grow & expand in your real life & real place. You will slowly gain the necessary courage to make new friends - perhaps through existing communities like AA, perhaps through hibernating interests that re-emerge, perhaps through service & volunteerism, or maybe by renewing cut ties with family or friends in a new way.

But until (& even after) that happens (organically, bravely, & in its right time), you are very welcome here. All of us are a wee bit lonely, but always learning, growing. Throw yourself in. There are some really excellent people here.

I know it isn't quite the same as a person cooking together with you in your kitchen, but we are - by virtue of our privacy via Internet - a very open & accessible community. I have found great comfort & kinship here.

My very best friend is a dog. Many of my confidants are invisible people on this site. I think that's ok. I'm pretty happy! Welcome!
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Old 01-31-2017, 12:57 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi Willowbones! Welcome!! One month is fantastic! It is still very early on in your recovery and it will be at it's highest right now. I have terrible anxiety too. Is there anyone you can call to talk about it with that you trust? I agree with Dee on the baby steps. Just little things to get you out of your place. Right now is totally new territory and your body will need to adjust over time but staying in your house could make it worse. Keep posting on here it really helps when you connect with anyone. SR is the best for that because everyone is/or has been through this. I hope you feel better.
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Old 01-31-2017, 01:46 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi Willowbones

Well done on a month - that couldn't have been easy coming off that much alcohol daily. I have no specific advice other than to be patient with yourself - you're going through a huge change. Allow yourself to take small and slow steps to rebuilding connections (hopefully with sober people!).

And keep talking to us here.
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Old 01-31-2017, 02:03 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome Willowbones!Some heartening advice and support for you already.Early sobriety is pretty grim,especialy anxiety.I can relate to your story and many others of us here at SR will too.Keep posting,stay close.A wealth of support is right here.
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Old 01-31-2017, 02:10 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Do you have a sponsor? If not, maybe call the AA helpline and ask if a recovered member could come and visit for a chat about your difficulties. I was too frightened to go to meetings cold, and it helped me a lot to have one person I knew, who understood me, and who took me/met me at my first meetings. They looked after me until I found my feet.

What you describe can be a real problem. I knew a chap, met him in my stay in the loony-bin who simply was too fearful to mix with others. Even drinking didn't help him, he just locked himself away in his house with his booze, and wouldn't answer the door to even his few friends. The last time I saw him was through a window of his house as he tried to sneak, unseen, from one room to the next. He never recovered.

It is a great shame he couldn't get over the anxiety, even to the point of getting some help for it specifically. And he was the nicest man you could wish to meet.
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Old 01-31-2017, 02:50 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Hi Willowbones, I also have social anxiety though it seems that you are far worse from it then myself. I understand how hard it is for you to do anything around people. I am not sure anyone understands it unless they have it. Everyday life can be so stressful. You feel that everyone is judging you even a stranger. You can walk out your front door and a stranger may walk by and you swear that person is already thinking bad about you. So even thinking of going to an AA meeting or any kind of meeting isn’t not going to happen. Even going to the doctor gives you anxiety god forbid you tell him/her you have a problem. What will they think of me.
Luckily it wasn’t my social anxiety or (at least I don’t think it was ) that I became a drinker. I am able to push myself along. Please if you haven’t been to a doctor go and get something to help you! They have so many medication and most of them are non-addictive. I was on one medication for about two years and could not believe how much piece it gave me. I am no longer on any medication and feel I can do without it for now. I still have a lot of social anxiety but I isn’t stopping me from doing things at the moment.
You are doing great at a month without drinking I myself am only at 20 days.
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Old 01-31-2017, 03:25 AM   #9 (permalink)
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WB try just going to an AA meeting or SMART. You do not have to say anything- just tell them you want to listen if asked. No pressure. That is what I did . I did not want to. Saw no point. After the 3rd meeting my sponsor (now) asked if I wanted a sponsor- and that marked a mile stone in my sobriety.
Prayers, keep posting. PJ.
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Old 01-31-2017, 03:56 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I can understand your anxiety. I don't have it that bad. Well done on a month. Just take baby steps and tell yourself byou are just as good as anyone else. That's how I get through things even though it's a bits hard. Maybe you have a bit of paranoia and are imagining what people are thinking. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves. No other advice. A doctor may just drug you out of your brain. Maybe a bit of valium may help.
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