Carnage
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 37
Carnage
Was going so well until last night. Lost some wieght the last few weeks and hitting the gym and generally feeling good. People commenting how good I looked. So I decided I would have a few beers. I forgot how this felt, this low self loathing depression and anxiety. I will be out of the gym this week cause I injured myself on my binge too! Brand new shirt ripped to pieces, security helping me to my unit, spilled red wine all over the hall that I don't even know were it came from. I hate myself for ruining everything.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
In my late teens I would have bragged about a story like that and found it highly amusing . I used to find the carnage in the morning quite hilarious. Now we are grown ups it's not funny and we feel ashamed. It's past and it's gone now, move forward and try to be kind to yourself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 37
Thanks all for the replies. It's helping me get through this misery. I was really contemplating going to the bar again but decided to post instead and go back to bed. I'm lying here shaking but it's the best thing I can do for now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 157
Capital J
I'm feeling the same as you after a binge last night, managed 10 weeks sober then thought I could moderate. Day 1 of my sober life, got the anxiety to so your not alone. Just be strong you know it will go if you stay off the booze.
I'm feeling the same as you after a binge last night, managed 10 weeks sober then thought I could moderate. Day 1 of my sober life, got the anxiety to so your not alone. Just be strong you know it will go if you stay off the booze.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 59
Unfortunately sobriety for most alcoholics seems to be a process. Most of us go through a number of cycles, falling off the wagon and picking up. I certainly did!
To me the key is to not use our failures as an excuse to not immediately get sober again. I did that too often.
To me the key is to not use our failures as an excuse to not immediately get sober again. I did that too often.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 37
I can't believe I screwed up again. One night has cost me so much, physically, mentally and financially. All self inflicted misery. I'm such a mess and embarrassment. I'm glad I didn't drink again today that's the only positive I have for now.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Don't hate yourself J. You just got a reminder on why you wanted to get sober in the first place.
The gym is great but I think most of us need more than that as a recovery plan. Do you have any ideas on what you might add to your plan this time?
D
The gym is great but I think most of us need more than that as a recovery plan. Do you have any ideas on what you might add to your plan this time?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 37
Im going to have to try and figure out some new strategies but for now Im going one day at a time again. The gym does help as it gives me a reason to stay off the drink so I am going to step it up again for now.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Going one day at a time doesn't mean you can't have a plan 
Some good ideas here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
Some good ideas here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: London
Posts: 22
I could well imagine someone i know telling me that story with them genuinely feeling that it was a great story and didn't matter in the slightest so for me it is important to work out why i don't tell the story the same as then and why i seemingly have the self loathing and the shame after the drinking; i'm pretty sure it's because they don't have the self loathing and shame before they even start to drink.
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