Water441

I'm having a reallly hard time accepting that I can't control myself with moderate drinking only in social situations despite 12 months of proof that I can't.

I know I can't. I know that the science of addiction is such that I'm not going to be able to have a healthy relationship with casual use but I find myself planning on things like "taking my meds that make me disinterested in alcohol closer to my consumption time and consistently each day" and seeing if I can do moderation if I'm more strict and disciplined... but I know the answer to that. As long as I keep coming back to that, I will continue to work on the acceptance part. My PAWS date is dec 25th but I'm on Antabuse as an extra precaution over the holidays.

Haven't made it to 22 days yet since self identifying as an alcoholic. Sigh. Stay sober self, easy choice between that and losing everything else. Keep that in mind self!

Everyone in my social circle drinks and are judgmental of alcoholics ... I'm having a hard time finding drive to be social... though I stay very busy while carrying out my recovery plan.

Jtmlk

Keep going your doing great

PhoenixJ

Prayers, keep posting and reading.

carlfardman

It sounds like you're making the right moves! Good luck!

Dee74

I think sometimes some of us need to clear the decks. I couldn't have stayed sober in my old life.

Too much drinking and too many drinkers.

It was a huge gamble for me to change my life, but I got to the poitn I could no longer have the luxury of not instituting far reaching change.

That risk has paid off handsomely, though, many many times over

D

Steely

I found the energy and stress involved in trying to moderate was too much for me both mentally and physically. I don't want to waste the rest of my life "learning" how to drink. I want to learn how to live.

Delilah1

Like Steely, moderation turned out to be exhausting, and unsuccessful for me. 22 days is a great start.

5upersonic

It was only when I realised that moderation was a bit like excessive drinking, but with the pleasure replaced with frustration, that I finally quit for good.

Good going on 22 days.

RedAndy

I'm with Dee here - everyone in my social circle were / are massive drinkers needless to say to succeed I had to change my social circle - daunting yes - necessary absolutely 100 %

Honestly and truthfully from the bottom of my heart there is a life away from that scene - one that is much better given time and when we can finally accept that our lifestyles need to change for us to make this work - it can be done, I'm living proof and finally enjoying things and life for what it really is.

Soberwolf

My advice is hang back while focusing on recovery especially as the holiday season is approaching and your finding it difficult (anyone in early recovery would btw) by focusing on yourself away from judgemental friends who are drinking and don't or can't understand what your going through it will really help

Going to say something here but I think you know already that alcoholics cannot moderate at all it's against our nature with alcohol no matter who says what after an alcoholic has one drink all bets are off

I called moderating 'experimenting' and I always failed know why ? because normal drinkers might have none 1 or 2 drinks I was drinking a lot more during my 'experimenting'

I had to let go of certain people & a lot of old haunts like pubs clubs bars etc I used to DJ and being away from all that although foreign it was exactly what I needed

soon enough it was easily one of the best decisions I ever made & now you couldn't pay me to be entertained in places like that

I can hear your struggle but I would listen to the inner you because from here it's saying I don't want to drink but I don't know what to do ?

Let us help you Water think about if you carry on drinking what you will get out of it and how it's making you feel

Now think about being happy being you sober with none of these worries

Hope I've made a bit of sense & hope you know you always always have us brother

August252015

Lots of good comments from good folks.

Re Antabuse- it is a great drug, when taken CORRECTLY. I messed around with doses and timing last year when I really didn't want to get sober and am lucky I didn't get very sick (or die, as can actually happen). This year, I took it exactly as prescribed for my first 90 days of sobriety; it became part of my normal drug routine and it was a great tool. Please use it correctly if you take it.

Early sobriety is a great time to be by yourself or only with other sober people. I started AA and I only gradually opened up my social world as the time went by (a number of months, 3 or 4) and to people with healthy relationships with alcohol (or non drinkers) only.

A life overhaul is exactly what I did because I made the choice never to drink again, no matter what or in what quantity, and am working on the best sober life I can have.

I wish the same for you.

teaorcoffee

It took me a lot of messing around, making deals with myself that I wouldn't drink at home, that I'd stop on one drink, etc, etc. It never worked, so I came to this place where I don't drink at all and it is so much better.
I found people to be interested (nosy) in the fact that I wasn't drinking and not really judgemental, but the fact is it doesn't matter, because I know it's better for me not to drink and that's that really.