1stepup

Hi, been on here a while ago, knew since the age of 15 that I had a major (massive) problem with the only solution to the way I felt but hey, guess what it worked- it seemed to cure my shyness, seemed to ease my fears, seemed to give me a feeling of dya know what if the world was about to explode in an hour Id be ok because Id found the key to life, the way to feel 'normal' like the other people around me do, tried self help, tried everything else, including here. I stopped for a few months on my own back but it crept up again when bad stuff happened and still is. So Im here scared, alone, and afraid but know I want to stop, feel so afraid of typing this but knew its helped in the past....

starstarstar

It IS scary. You've stopped on your own before though, you can do it again, no?

Mattq2

1stepup,
It is very scary at first you know that. Since you have done it before you also know that the scary part goes away and everything else starts to get better. You can do it, day one starts now my friend. We are here for you

1stepup

Yeah I guess I can, but so scared of the comedown star- its my head I guess.....

Mattq2

You know you can my friend! Get tough and stand strong. Make your plan and stick to it.

1stepup

Thanks Mat for your reply, yeah Im in the stage of putting down the very thing that's allowing me to type this, I know and have known for many years Im an 'alcoholic' - dare I utter the words...! The good news is Ive poured all the alcohol I had hidden around down the sink and am on here so guess that's a start. I HATE where I always end up, Im an intelligent guy, full of qualifications etc etc but alas I cant seem to beat this alcohol problem.....

1stepup

Thanks star.

Mattq2

I never would have imagined that I could quit either. Hundreds of attempts but then one of them finally sticks. Take each day minute by minute if you need to and read here all you can. You can do it.

starstarstar

Ohhhhh.. I probably shouldn't even be replying as I'm still dealing with the physical part of withdrawal. Something in your original post did send my mind straight to the last night I had so much wine, and so much fun! with friends singing "It's the End of the World as We Know It" at the top of our lungs.

I best keep reading.

I really do wish you the best in getting past whatever's holding you back.

Kyng

You can quit man.
It sounds like alcohol is bringing you nothing but troubles, like me. I'm only on day five and don't get me wrong, its ****** tough as nails. But if you're ready to leave the life you're living than take that first step!

K

Mountainmanbob

You remind me of me in my drinking past.
Make a (firm) decision to stop drinking.
Then recommended for ones to get a program and work it.

Good luck,
M-Bob

Hevyn

Good to see you, 1stepup. We care about you and want to help.

I thought alcohol was a cure for my shyness & self-consciousness too. I drank for almost 30 yrs. & never realized how it was holding me back - keeping me from growing. All it did was mask my problems & fears. In the end I was drinking every day - completely dependent on it. I was so glad to get free of it. You will be too.

ByHisLove

I read in someone's post earlier today that said abstinence is different than recovery and I realized that was the exact reason I traded my addiction to alcohol for an addiction to opiates after being sober for 2 years.

I quit drinking on my own and figured since I wasn't drinking anymore (and didn't even have the desire to because of the excruciating hangovers I got) the problem was solved. What I know now though is since I never got any help to deal with the cause of my alcoholism, the addict inside me was just waiting quietly until another drug came around that I could numb myself with that didn't cause the ever hated hangover. That's when opiates entered my life and I started the downward spiral at an even greater pace than before.

Without getting help to deal with the issues that led you into addiction, you will probably struggle to get lasting sobriety. Simply not drinking won't help cure the main problem. The problem isn't the alcohol, it's why you choose to use it.

I'm sure not everyone will agree with my perspective, but I just wanted to throw my two cents in. Ask for help and you CAN recover. I'm not far in myself, but I have confidence that if I deal with the cause of my alcoholism and addiction that I can and will stay clean and sober.

Dee74

Welcome back 1step

If bad things (or emotions) happening are consistently a reason for you drinking, why not start working on some other strategies now to deal with 'bad stuff'?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...f-respite.html

I'm not saying you have to try everything in every link but look at the headings and pull a few out to look out

Fear can be a powerful force but you can definitely rein it in and change the way to respond to it.

I'm glad you poured out the rest of what you had. Any ideas on what your next step might be?

D

PhoenixJ

For me I needed support- AA, SMART, GP for w/d's and a plan.