geelouise

That's it really! I work alone for the most part which I think prompts me to drink as I miss company and feel bored and restless at the end of the day if not earlier. But to be honest I've always drank loads. I know I feel better when I don't overall but I still feel compelled to do it. I did a dry month last year and loved it. I feel alcohol distracts me from moving forward and focussing on (worrying about?) things that matter. I believe life would be better - more positive and productive - either without alcohol or with less. I do believe my employment situation is related as when working full time in a meaningful role I am more concerned about my performance, and my drinking regresses quite naturally. However I still feel my urge to drink, as much so when alone, is something I would benefit from addressing.

least

I gave up drinking for good seven years ago and don't regret a minute of it. My life is so much better now, no drama and I always wake up feeling good.

I hope you'll decide to get sober for good. I know the support here can help you do that.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Geelouise!!

thomas11

Welcome geelouis. There is a saying around here....there is nothing in the world that alcohol won't make worse. And I believe it to be true.

You won't regret getting and staying sober.

teaorcoffee

Welcome GeeLouise, we've been where you are now.
Keep posting, sounds like you know the best way forward, just need to commit to it.

ByHisLove

Welcome! I'm new here also. It sounds like you're heading down the right track by wanting to quit. You'll find the support here amazing!

courage2

Welcome geelouise! I'm glad you posted!

Please stay close and you'll find lots of good sober people. Just reach out whenever you feel like drinking -- or just, whenever! There's always someone here, 24-7.

Hevyn

Good to meet you geelouise. It really helps to talk things over with those who understand. We're glad you're here.

geelouise

Wow thanks for the messages! Really appreciated!

Berrybean

Welcome GeeLouise.

Sounds like you're getting ready to reclaim your life. That's fab.

Try to remember, abstinence is different to recovery. One can be comfortable (eventually ) and sustainable. The other can't. That's because we need to find other ways to deal with uncomfortable feelings and situations to drink. A good example of this is the AA 12-step recovery program, in which only the first step even mentions alcohol. The other 11 are about what we do once we've got sober in order to clear the wreckage of our past and move forward.

I wish you luck for your sobriety and recovery. BB

Anna

Louise, I'm glad you recognize that alcohol is negative in your life and that you are here seeking support and information. We do understand how hard this is. Take a look around and see if you can come up with a plan to stop drinking.

Dee74

Welcome geelouise

D

geelouise

Hi, thanks again! Must say though, I don't consider my life or my past a wreckage!!! Nothing in particular has gone wrong... I just feel like alcohol hasn't been playing an especially productive part in my life

Berrybean

Well, that's good. (Wreckage free and no regrets ). Not many of us escape from alcohol affecting finances, job performance, home life, relationships, or how we feel about ourselves. But no doubt it hasn't played a productive part. Does it ever!?

So, when is / was your quit date? And how's it going so far?

Dee74

Hi geelouise

you don;t have to crash and burn to have a problem with alcohol - or to be welcome here

It's good you've decided to change things now

D

geelouise

Sure I agree. The comment was in response to the message above!

flguy1

You did 30 days before and loved it...so just try to get your mind right and then go do it again....and then some! Good Luck!

D122y

Gee,

I approach alcohol from an addictive drug stand point. It is a way of dealing w stress for about 20 minutes per drink, but then it enhances the stress and adds even more guilt and weakness.

Since I have been exposed to this stand point, it has been the way I deal w my compulsive thoughts about drinking. I have to routinely center my thinking based on that knowledge. Otherwise, I will give in and become a drunk again.

Once we alkies had our switch flipped, we will always crave alcohol.

The crave lies in our emotions. The crave wells up in me and then dissipates. The dissipation is almost like falling asleep. I don't realize I fall asleep, I just do. I don't realize I stop craving, it just happens.

Every emotion can trigger my desire to drink. Happy or Sad...or anything in between. I defeat the trigger to drink w the above analysis and the knowledge that I was so mentally and physically damaged I am lucky to have not had a stroke or lost everything due to a domestic issue etc.

One time relatively recently, my sister asked me how I was able to not drink at a party where there was free all you can drink beer and spirits.

I explained to her, I could drink all day, every day if I wanted to. I am a grown man w lots of money. I could buy a bar if i wanted to. I don't drink because I hate booze now. I almost destroyed myself w it.

I am sure you feel the same way. Hate is such a strong word. It is a word I avoid using...except in the case of addictive substances.

I hate booze. Saying this strengthens my resolve to never ever drink again.

I never say hope when it comes to quitting drinking. I use the positively final words...never ever drinking again. I use the word hate.

Booze is my kryptonyte.

Thanks.

geelouise

Thank you for the replies! Flguy, yes I did really like it! It was less difficult than I expected and after a relatively short time I didn't even really fancy a drink. I read recently about how the composition of your gut biome / microbes responds to different diets and habits and how regular drinking encourages a population of microbes that make you crave alcohol. Interesting stuff, but I digress! When I finished my month last year I really wasn't in any rush to drink anything - when I did drink something alcoholic I felt very much take it or leave it. Funnily enough I was in a different country (not UK) and I wonder if this made it easier. There is certainly much more of a drinking culture here and lots of mass enabling of unhealthy habits and attitudes to alcohol.

geelouise

Hi D112y thanks for sharing and for the support!! I do agree that alcohol can be a knee jerk habitual reaction/coping response when something healthier, like exercise, talking to someone, etc. would be more appropriate and more useful. I don't hate alcohol. But I do find my intake creeping up and I resent time spent being less productive the day after a few drinks and missing out on other activities because of downtime spent unwinding with a drink, when more wholesome stuff would be more enjoyable and more satisfying. I find it becomes a lazy habit and narrows the repertoire for dealing effectively with all manner of situations. I also notice that after a few drinks a few more feels very compelling - and I don't like that compulsive feeling to have 'just one more'. I just feel that a lot of time gets wasted.