Horn95

Hi all.

I have been lurking for a while. I am an alcoholic with a bad drinking problem. I have been a heavy drinker for a long time. But I could easily go a few days without any problem. Then about a year ago my drinking started earlier and earlier in the day.

One things I ALWAYS noticed is that days after drinking my anxiety would be really bad. And in the last year it has been a vicious cycle. I am drinking in the mornings just to deal with the anxiety.

This is the pattern now. So I will quit drinking between 5 and 6 pm. I'll come home (wife has no idea how bad my drinking is) and not drink the rest of the evening. Go to bed between 9 and 10!pm. (Aided by a milligram of xanax)

Then by anywhere between 2 and 3 am I wake up, heart pounding covered in sweat. And I begin worrying about everything in my life that could go wrong. I manage to doze in and out until about 6 am.

I get up and the anxiety is off the hook. Sometimes I have tremors, sometimes not, depending how much sleep I got. Nauseous, I then will often wretch (nothing comes up). Then just to be able to work, I have at least two glasses of wine by 10 am just to function. I manage to get some work done but it is a struggle. By 6 pm rolls around I'll have had between 4 to 6 more drinks. Weekends more.

I am sick of this cycle. I hate drinking. I do. It's not fun anymore. And I know what I have done is zap my brain and drained all the good neurotransmitters. So I am terrified of withdrawal, and I am scared of going cold turkey. But I need time to allow my brain to heal.

Any input about how to get through withdrawal? Do I need to take time off of work?

Thanks all. I just think if I can get past withdrawal, I can kick this doggone poison. I want to be happy again. And I was pretty happy until the booze got worse.

Thanks in advance.

teaorcoffee

Welcome. I've been at the place you have been, wondering how to start.
This is a good place to find support and advice. I would say that if you have this much anxiety and also fear of withdrawal, it might well be worth seeking medical help to get you through the first part at least.

january161992

hi horn and welcome

the only reason i ever drank was to shut off from fear/ anger/ depression/ anxiety etc

i really needed the face to face fellowship that aa offers to get a sobriety date and start to build a sober foundation

for me willingness to follow direction is the key

God bless

emme99

Hi & Welcome Horn

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Horn!!

MellowHeather

Hey Horn95.

Welcome and it's great that you took the step to post!

I also drank a huge amount for far too many years. I wanted to quit so much.. but not enough to actually do it!

When it finally came to a head, I posted here (extensively), went to AA, and am now a heady four days off. It's amazing.

So - get thee to your doctor. They can advise you and help you through the initial process. You've made the decision, so now ask for a little help to ease the road.

Everybody's different, but, for me, the fear of quitting was FAR worse than actually quitting. I had become a nervous wreck, and four days later I already feel a million times better.

Put it this way - are a few days of withdrawals better or worse than a lifetime of crippling hangovers? Go for it!

Upstairs

Hey Horn! If you have been at it all day for a long while, you will get some withdrawal symptoms. As it's been said, go see a Doctor and they can make the sobering up period much easier on you. Then it's all about planning on how to stay that way and not resume the drinking. Hope that helps!

Berrybean

Welcome. Glad you're here.

Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB

Anna

I suspect the anxiety will diminish when you stop drinking, though it may not disappear. Talk to your dr if you are concerned about withdrawals. Yes, it's tough to get through the first several days but there is no way around it. And, once you do it, you never have to go back there again.

thomas11

Yeah, it sounds like you're in the meat grinder pretty deep. I know exactly what you are describing. We can't offer medical advice, but I would consider a medical detox. Hopefully this vicious cycle you're in will give you enough strength to not drink again, because if you do, I am fairly confident you will end up right back where you are now (just the way it is). I wish you the best.

Horn95

I dread going through withdrawal. Any advice on how best to approach it?

Airplayne

As was said earlier, a Dr. is a good place to start. This isn't medical advice, but for me...day by day. Hour by hour. It is worth it. But you have to really want it. It really help(s/ed) me to remember the suck. That way I can shove those cravings where they belong. I'm 17 days sober and I feel pretty great. Still get anxiety and have to exercise and eat right to keep it at bay. Remember that you can do it.

Dee74

Approach it as a little short term pain for long term gain.

If you see a Dr & explain your fear, they may be able to prescribe something to help or make things easier.

Its not a comfortable experience but I faced far worse experiences as a drinker - you should feel a whole lot better 3-4 days in.

D

Hevyn

It's so good to have you with us, Horn95. Once you're through the withdrawal you can begin to heal - & you'll be free. A better life is waiting - sounds like you are ready.

D122y

Horn,

The physical detox is tough, but the long term healing is where you will be truly challanged.

I had to taper and quit drinking w out a dr. In my line of work, seeing a dr. For alcohol issues leads to unemployment.

If you can see a dr. And keep your job..do it. If you will lose your job...welcome to my world.

The anxiety I dealt w staying clean has gradually withered to almost nothing.

At first, I was in a living hell. It was an exhaustive nightmare.

Being clean and sober is a whole new world.

Emotions are pure. Serenity awaits.

You have to slowly rise out of the hell hole alcohol puts us in.

Please post and ask questions. There are so many experienced drunks here, like me, that want to help. It is part of our recovery.

Thanks.

least

Do ask your doctor for medical help in getting safely thru w/d. The first few days can be hell, but if you never drink again, you'll never have to go thru it again.

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.