Takingiteasy

I could complain about a thousand reasons I drink, but really
ALL It is is that I bottom line enjoy it... until the next day. Not everyday, but every second or third day a bottle of wine and whatever else is lying around will suffice. An event caused me massive anxiety a couple of years ago ( drank before the event also, just escalated afterwards ) so, of course alcohol helped me actually sleep and numb the anxiety somewhat. Until i was wide awake at 3am with my heart racing & thinking of all the things I have to do/haven't done. Being pregnant was the only time i wouldn't drink. I actually knew I would binge so badly that I would take a pregnancy test almost daily. When it came back neg, I would give myself the clear to drink. When I wasn't pregnant, because of this, I would literally almost know the first DAY, and my doctor was always surprised that I found out so early on. Drinking while pregnant wasn't even an option. Of course I'd make jokes about wanting booze ect but I didn't crave it, and would never of drank. Which is where I'm at now. ( no, not pregnant :P ) but tired of being TIRED a good 5 days out of 7. I know I can abstain when needed, so now I'm going to make it a necessity 7 days out of 7. Joined here because some of your stories are motivating. as my anxiety progressed, So DID the drinking, which makes for some insane attacks. Don't even know how many times I've came close to dialling 911 because I thought I was on the verge of death.

Maggie0119

I am on Day 8 and the anxiety has improved but it still sneaks up on me about two or three times a day. Huge improvement but it does get better. I was exhausted while I was drinking. I am glad you are posting and reading here. It has really helped me. I knew I was an alcoholic but I didn't know exactly what I was doing to myself and the people around me, mentally and especially physically. I had heard it was a progressive disease but couldn't really wrap my head around it. Education, reading and posting here are key for me. I also have a pretty good plan in place, a therapist and I am really thinking I need AA. I went 8 days without drinking binged for one day and now I am on my 8th day again. It is hard but so worth it. You can do it!

Takingiteasy

Ya I def looked into AA a few times, well just the locations ect NOT actually going. I think the reason being is id love to hear from people in the same situation, but I'm not religious at all so I can in no way see myself talking about god and how he saved me. I'm looking to improve my life, but NOT TO that extent. I know not everyone becomes some religious freak, you take your ' higher power ' as you see it or wtv. A friend of mine who was a pretty intense user/drinker found AA years ago. And I remember him calling me after us not seeing each other since almost high school to tell me about how he's now sober & the changes he's made. I remember telling him good for you! Proud of you! And when I hung up ( because we hadn't spoken in YEARS ) thinking to myself... Wow that was f*ckng weird. Now obviously older and knowingly what AA is I realize he was clearly working on a step. He's still sober today and def not religious so... maybe there's hope lol

Maggie0119

I am not religious either but I am going to attempt to look past that and see if I can get something out of it. Who knows. I am alone a lot and I think that just being face to face with people may be an extra area of support. There is a Women's group that meets on Weds evenings that I am going to try. I'll let you know how it goes. I am just going to work on today right now as this is a big day for me. Longest I have been sober in a while. Be strong today and remember to read and post if need be.

Takingiteasy

Let me know! Have a great day

entropy1964

Hi Taking

Welcome! I wasn't 'into' AA for years also. Tried for 13 years to quit both in AA and out (mostly out). My viewpoint on AA when I did try it was to 'get' from it what I could, go to meetings, but I just didn't get the 'God' thing. Well, that didn't work. I truly tried everything and my addiction got worse and worse. Now I'm at the point where the 'God' thing is the only thing I haven't tried....so i'm basically good and desperate. I've only been sober 103 days so nothing really but I'm learning a lot in AA. Now that I'm open to listen. And I really look forward to helping other alcoholics. I think that's where the program really begins!

I just recommend keeping your ears open, your mind flexible and your heart willing. Good luck.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Takingiteasy!! Great job on Day 2!!

Dee74

Glad you're with us takingiteasy

Why not check out our Class Of November support thread as a start?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l#post6224217D

january161992

hi takingiteasy and maggie

my experience is that i had to get into enough pain to become willing to follow direction

i went to aa and found a solution

my life is much better now

meetings
sponsor
steps
service
higher power

God bless

Nonsensical

Did you know you have this backwards? Persistent alcohol use causes higher anxiety. It seems counter-intuitive, because the booze helps for a few hours, but when it wears off you're worse than before.

It's that darned brain trying to survive. Evolutionarily speaking, it's bad for survival to sit around drunk and lethargic all the time. The brain compensates by overproducing stimulants. The booze wears off faster than the stimulants and you're left feeling anxious.

Lay off the sauce for 90 days and see what happens to your anxiety levels. I was astonished at how my anxiety disappeared almost entirely.

Be well!

Dee74

hows it going takingiteasy?

D