Spartanman

Well, I drank yesterday ... on day two. Things I didn't do yesterday include posting here or going to a meeting, two things I had planned on doing. Also, I ate garbage for lunch, was really tired and anxious, and stressed out about my job, which is mounting with pressure from years of neglecting my responsibilities due to being a semi-conscious zombie all the time. I also didn't exercise, which I had planned on doing to try to get some positive momentum going toward feeling better. So I have some things I can do I just need to do them. This is pretty hard though huh ? I am worried about my health, just general anxiety after years of daily abuse, nothing too specific. I feel tired and hungover. Embarrassed to fail on the second day of recovery again.

entropy1964

Well you're posting now, so that a good start. Maybe post a daily update for accountability. Have you tried any other kind of recovery support?

The anxiety will get much better if you can stay sober. But I think it continues to get worse the longer we drink.

SnazzyDresser

Keep after it, Spartanman. Sometimes it takes awhile to get the knack of it, but it's doable.

me1489

Keep the head up my man, the fact you instant posted the day after again shows you want too do this so make it happen, you got this

doggonecarl

Perhaps you underestimated the difficulty of quitting, or didn't realize just what was involved with attaining and maintaining sobriety. So now you know. This is hard work, with the greatest enemy your own thinking.

The gym, getting squared away at work, that's all well and good. But for now, just focus on getting through the day without drinking.

sleepie

Maybe try no drinking and AA to start and bring the other changes a bit later. A concentrated effort on just abstaining from alcohol might be necessary at first.

FreedomCA

Similar to you, my lifestyle plays a huge part in how I feel and therefore gives me a better chance at sobriety because I am in a better mood. Don't give up!

Spartanman

Thanks everyone for the advice and support. For today, I'll just focus on getting home sober and going to sleep without a drink. That is an attainable goal and, as several have suggested, maybe I need to restrict my focus to such small steps for now at the beginning. I am going to give AA a try, that is for tomorrow however.

sleepie

That sounds good Spartanman, as people like to say, "One day at a time".

you can do this.

Anna

Taking small steps is a good idea. It's important to feel like you're succeeding each day, rather than feeling like you failed. The small successes will help motivate you to continue. And, it IS hard, it really is hard. But, you can do it!

Delilah1

Glad you came right on here and posted today. I agree with everyone about he small steps. The first few days are tough, but each one gets easier.

I have always dealt with anxiety, but it has lessened since I have stopped drinking.

Spend time here reading and posting when you get home tonight.

Dee74

Learning to live sober is a skill like anything else - we need to learn it...and we need to practice it

I don't know what ideas you have on how you might stay sober but I really recommend making a recovery plan - think ahead of those times when you want to drink...have people to call or access to places like SR.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

If you don't want to drink you don't have to...you can be sober from here on in..it just takes a little work

sugarbear1

Eh, you're great at self-sabotage, I can relate to that quite well!

Maybe take it easy on self and lower your bar to "don't drink this hour" and aim for being sober Today. Begin again tomorrow....

TulsaGentleman

We alcoholics are masters at compulsive behavior. When we decide to clean up our act, we try to do it all at once - stop drinking, stop smoking, get exercise, eat healthier, etc. All worth goals for sure, but overwhelming. The one thing that is most destructive to you right now is your drinking. Work on that and save the rest for another day. Take it one step at a time and one day at a time.

Nonsensical

Fixed your post.

There are no failures posting on this forum. The only failure is giving up, and the people who do that wander off and are never heard from again. If you're posting you're still trying, and that means you're succeeding or learning or both.

You have work to do. Get after it!

PhoenixJ

Thoughts and prayers to you. Don't drink- it just makes everything worse.

Truthbetold76

THIS.
so true. It's all or nothing.
baby steps you got this.

Spartanman

Wow, thanks everyone for the support and encouragement! I am starting on day two after a sober night last night. I feel like my brain is wrapped in gauze and I have some serious panda eyes. I will be thinking about my long-term plan and a lot of lifestyle changes, but the advice above has really resonated that I should focus on small pieces at the beginning. It's a relief to break what looks insurmountable overall into a manageable chunk for now. Today I will focus on getting home sober no matter what happens. Thanks again for the kind words of support, it truly helps.