suzyzipper

So apparently I took some time off drinking in May. I don't remember that at all but it's nice being able to see my old posts.

I recently took 35 days off of drinking. That is until last night. Somehow I convinced myself to have a drink (or 4) and I did and even after a month away I had no problem going right back to where I was. I woke up today sad but not horribly upset with myself. I am hoping to be able to go back to no drinking now that I got it out of my system.

I have changed though and reading old posts has proven that. I used to want a quick fix and I no longer want that. I know now that it's going to be hard and I also know the more I fight it the more challenging it's going to be. It's so much easier just giving in and acknowledging I have a problem.

REsoberALITY

Welcome back!

D122y

Suzy,

35 days is a long time for a drunk to be sober.

Awesome!

At 35 days clean....I was a mess mentally.

Physically, I was healing pretty well.

Mentally....Lights were too bright, sounds were to loud.

I had all sorts of spacial awareness issues....balance was off....confidence in my ability to walk up or down stairs without a railing was not there.

Walking up or down bleachers w out a railing...yikes.

Night time walking on uneven surfaces...I would stumble sometimes like I was drunk.

That was me. This lasted...getting gradually better...for several months...

How bout you?

Delilah1

Welcome back!

PhoenixJ

Drinking sucks. I brings nothing but pain, hell ,death and damage. I have learned from that. Life goes on and I am in it now- sober, strong and sad. Drinking sucks.

suzyzipper

I am actually doing great. I was having some serious heart palpitations along with high blood pressure. I am a runner and run marathons so the combination of running and drinking was taking a serious toll on my body. The heart palpitations are gone and I feel a total peace. I still want to drink but the more I realize it and after last night and not being able to stop that really showed me what my destiny is if I don't quit now.

HelenofTroy

Yup recently been there. I quit drinking in early September but never allowed myself to believe I was quitting forever but just taking a break. After my second slip 27 days ago I've realized that it is easier to just quit drinking forever than it is to try and moderate. As long as I allowed myself to believe I could drink again at some point I would think about it all the time. Now that I have accepted that I will never drink again (which is a place I got to kicking and screaming because drinking is so much a part of my personal identity) I rarely even think about it and I am free to focus on other things.

MLD51

the more I fight it the more challenging it's going to be. It's so much easier just giving in and acknowledging I have a problem.

I found this to be very true. Once I just threw my hands up and said "Yes, I admit I'm an alcoholic and I can't drink again" it was much easier to stay quit. I surrendered fully, and it was the best thing I ever did. It's so much easier to just not drink than it was to try to moderate.

Anna

I agree that accepting you have the problem is a very good start. Your recovery may be the hardest thing you do in your life, but it will be so worth it. I hope you use SR as a support for yourself.

january161992

hi suzy

glad youre back

Dee74

Hi and welcome back Suzyzipper

I don;t want to be a Dee Downer but unfortunately many of us can't count on 'getting the drinking out of our system'.

Have you got any ideas on how you'll stay sober? A plan?

D